Carys Weldon Blog

My newest novel

2012-01-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

As for the JANO, write a 50k word novel in the month of January, I'm moving slow. Unbelievably slow.

So, I've come up with Katrina, a cowgirl type who owns a ranch (compliments of my mom's suggestions), in New Mexico (compliments of my husband's suggestion), and there's this guy named Jonah (compliments of a friend named Paulyne). And, from there, I need more help. My friend Ruby mentioned that NEW MEXICO is crawlin' with indians (she's a Navajo hailing from down there.) So, there will be indians in this novel. My friend Jen suggested Katrina make some prickly pear cactus jam at some time, so you can look forward to that in the book--and I plan to include the recipe.

Any more suggestions?

New year, new goals A NOVEL IN A MONTH?

2012-01-01T18:43:00.001-08:00

So, I signed up for a thing called JANO, to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of January. Technically, it only requires 1613 words a day. That's roughly 7 pages. Sounds pretty easy. But today, the first day of the challenge, I had family things going on, so I am just now sitting down to give this thing a shot. What happens next? Figuring out a couple characters, their names, and a basic problem. I assume I'm gonna write a romance. I begged people I'm playing with on Words with Friends, to give me some names, so there I have the base of my characters. I asked my husband to say where the heroine is. He says a ranch in New Mexico. So, that would be pretty much a scrub patch, right? What else do they grow out there besides rocks? So, the story is rocky to begin with and painted into a tight little corner before I even get a paragraph written. But I will prevail! Stay tuned.

Mentally Unstable

2011-03-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have a book coming out with Under The Moon Press that you might thoroughly enjoy. It is a collection of prize winning short mystery stories titled THE MENTALLY UNSTABLE.

As you may already know, I've also got a collection of short mystery stories in a book with CJ Winters titled Deadknots. You can google this one, because it is already out. Those are paranormal mystery stories.

No sex in either of these. Just good clean fun. Okay, bloody fun.
If you check them out, feel free to come back here and put your two cents worth in. Tell me how you liked the stories.

I need to get busy doing something constructive today. What? I am not sure. Maybe writing some short novella or something. Any suggestions?

Busy Busy Busy

2011-03-14T04:46:00.001-07:00

I've been busy the last couple of months. In January, I completed edits on The Mentally Unstable, a collection of short (g rated) mysteries that will be published this year by Under The Moon Press, and the edits on a book of poetry that will be out by the end of this month. It is titled Passing Patriots of War and Peace and is a tribute to those who've served in the military, and their families. It will soon be available from Gregath Publishing Company. Both will be published under the name Jennifer DiCamillo.

I'm also working on my Candy's Kisses and Levi's Jeans edits with Wild Rose Press. That's of the ilk you'll like, I'm sure. The book will be retitled for publication, though. It appears that Levi's Jeans is a copyright infringement. So the working title must go.And this will be a Carys Weldon title.

That's the story of city girl, Candy, and country boy (man), Levi. He runs a dairy ranch, so he's a true COW boy. He's not Mr. smooth with words, which is kinda funny. But he is hot as hell, tall and black haired, razor blue eyes. Ripped body. And boy does he fit in his jeans!

Now, Candy's already dated four of his cousins. So, when she gets set-up with Levi, she's already feeling like a failure. All she wants is a guy that can kiss her socks off. If his four hot cousins couldn't do it, maybe the problem is her, not them.

But not so. Levi kisses her quick and leaves her panting. You gotta read this story. It's fun, fast paced, and if you like it, I'll get the cousins' stories published for your enjoyment. And you'll get to read more about Candy and Levi as the other books progress.

Now, remember, more of my Carys Weldon titles are appearing at Mojocastle.com. Vampire lovers, please search for Vampirubus, Josey, Jule, Destra and the Lustpire, and of course The Dark Lord.

Poetry

2010-08-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

I've been working on poetry all summer long. It's something I can do anywhere I go, or wherever I sit. Are you into poetry? I like to write poetry that resonates with "regular people." Occasionally, I try my hand at high brow stuff, but I prefer poetry that you can pick up and identify with.

Of course, I have the poetry book Caresses Well Done which is fantasy and sexy poetry (which goes to vulgar). I wrote several pieces in that collection about movie stars I find attractive. If you're interested in poetry you can read with your significant other as a turn on, you might check that out at mojocastle.com.

This week, I've been critiquing/editing a friend's poetry collection before it goes to print. I think she will be self-publishing, so I won't mention her name, since you won't be able to get it unless you're in my area.

I want to encourage you poets to write your poetry down and make a collection. Poetry tells the stories of our lives, and how we see things going on around us. It can also help you work through issues, and who doesn't need to work through a few of those?

Here's a piece from my Caresses Well Done:

CARESSES WELL DONE

Every woman wants whispers of desire
Tantalizing touches that set her on fire
The teases that make her panties wet
As many practiced kisses as she can get
In her dreams, a lover
Lives to please her
Loves with raves about
The sweet taste of her
Nectared lips, giving
Attention with tiny nips
And chest rumbles of desire
unleashed, devouring
Her greedily with succulent savoring
Telling her how he craves her flavoring
How it haunts him when
they’re apart, how he thirsts and hungers
after her every attention and in his
whispered amour, he mentions how her lips
wrap around him
driving his fantasies

New Blog Start

2010-08-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, friends.

I'm back in my computer seat, pulling myself together, hoping to become professional again. Hopefully, I'll be posting to this blog more regularly.

I hope you're doing well. Please post and let me know what you're up to.

While I wait for a crowd to gather, I'd like to point you to http://www.mojocastle.com/ where many of my books have been recently released or re-released.

A new one that you might have heard much about is TO CLAIM A QUEEN, a historical erotic romance. It's a short novella.

Here's the prologue:

(Be warned, graphic sex coming next)

TO CLAIM A QUEEN
PROLOGUE
Prince Kayler, of Dungreddin, leaned back, letting his mind wander and his eyes close—despite the fact that he dallied, mid-romp, with one of his father’s chambermaids. Vaguely, he wondered how many times he’d done that very thing. It appeared to be his greatest habit, and he well knew it.

He had no remorse in letting her do all the work. After all, she’d begged for the tumble—like they all did. A chance at getting with royal child—securing a place within the keep forever? A play with the massive tool? Idly, he questioned himself on what her particular desire leaned toward, but he didn’t think too hard on it, for she sat astride him, high volume moans of pleasure gasping from her lips, working them both up to yet another release.

He didn’t bother to peek at her.

It wasn’t that she was uncomely. On the contrary, the girl had quite pleasant features—else he would not have bedded her in the first place—no matter how much she pleaded. Nay, it was the mere fact that they all bored him—every last wench in his father’s kingdom. Nothing but prattle and begging, preening and fawning, pleasantries and puffed up compliments. Even their moans sounded the same.

As if he needed any of that.

The girl squirmed, readjusted, groaned and collapsed atop him—that made Kayler open his eyes, buck beneath her a few times, and finish his own business in short order.

Like a blanket, she sprawled across him, worn out from all her hard work. He, on the other hand, had barely managed a sweat—was more likely to draw one with her prone over him. He lay with his gaze going over the room, searching first the rafters, and then the walls—spying cobwebs and niches.

Dark and heavy velvet drapes blocked the high daylight and all sense of time-keeping in his tower chamber. Candles melted to nubs on the candelabras. He kicked his right foot a smidge to rid himself of the tangled bedding there.

A few minutes later, the girl sighed, pressed her lips to his chest and whispered, “Ready to go again, my lord?”

Kayler laughed outright, glad that she’d sensed his lack of fulfillment, and rolled her to her back, saying exuberantly, “Yes!” Unequivocally, he could go again. Harder, rougher.

She squealed with delight, hung on for all she was worth, and Kayler put it to her, giving her grunt-for-push.

“My good lord!” His nasally, young, runner, Tonnin, burst into the private chamber with no heed to decorum, nor respect for the private act Kayler and his latest lady friend were in the middle of. Rushing to the edge of the bed, he queried, “Morning’s come and gone, and you’re still a-bed?”

Kayler spared him a glance. “Of course.” He kept on pumping.
His gaze darting over the wench, spying close enough to see who she was, the boy announced, “Oh! It’s a bad day to stay in the sheets!”

“Nay. It’s starting well enough for me.” Kayler kept up his pounding, asking the girl beneath him, “What say you, wench?”
In between thrusts, she said, “It—seems—fair-enough—for me.”

“Fair?” He quirked a brow.

She grinned. “Ah. Did I—say—fair?”

Before she could elaborate on the fine night and morning he’d given her, the runner interrupted. “The king has sent for you.”

That effectively ceased any fun Kayler had been engaged in. With a quick and final plunge—a holding second of release—and a playful slap and hearty squeeze—and a firm, “Leave me, woman,” Kayler leaped to his feet and spied the runner with intense disbelief. “Why?”

A rapping knock at the door followed with a loud, “Sir! The king requests your presence! Are you up, sir?”

Kayler let his head swing in the direction of the door. “Aye! Of course I’m up! Tell him I’m coming.”

There was a cough outside the door and a tentative, “Yes, I know you have company, but—”

Shaking his head, rolling his eyes, Kayler bellowed, “Tell my father I’ll be on my knees in no time.”

Again, a cough sounded and the messenger asked, “Yes, but—”
“On my knees in the throne room. Be gone!”

The page grinned. “You cannot blame him for his questions. You are renowned, my lord.” And often slow to answer the king’s summons. It went unsaid between them.

“Yes, well.” While the wench searched for her clothes behind his back, Kayler stood in his all his manly glory, squeezing himself clean, demanding, “What else do you know?”

Gasping a little for breath, the page wheezed, “Filaban has offered a truce, of sorts. A daughter for a son. A blood tie to be made within the fortnight—or war upon our heads.”

“Now why would he do that?” Kayler spit out an oath, adding without a doubt, “It’s a trick! He already prepares for war. Our spies tell us that.” He glanced around for his breeches, frowned at the girl who had yet to leave and asked the air, “What treacherous bastard would involve his daughter in games of war? Or is she so ugly she can’t get a husband another way?” His ire landed another gaze on his play-partner.

She apologized profusely, bowing in panic—as if caught in her own game, “My lord, I cannot find my chemise.” Her other things clutched to her bosom, she swiped the sheeting on the bed, looking for the missing garment, stammering a mumbled, “You are quite a catch, my lord—perhaps she has heard of you and requested you a-purpose—over all the other princes.”

The page made a face, pointing upward. “There!”

Her chemise had somehow landed on the bedpost high above their heads. Kayler snatched it from its perch, pushed it into her arms and said, “Good romp. And thanks. Perhaps we’ll do it again.”

“Yes, m’lord.” The girl ducked her head and scuttled from the room.

Kayler spared her naked backside a once over and clicked regret inside his jaw—sure he could’ve done the deed again, if he’d just turned her over one more time. He snagged his hose from under the edge of the bed and began to pull it on, going back to his commentary on the king’s messenger. “It is really none of his business what I am up to. Or how quickly I jump to my father’s summons.”

“Except he must report.” Tonnin hopped from foot to foot. “The king gets cranky, you know.”

“Are you anxious, Tonnin? Or do you need to go to the pissery?”

The dancing ceased immediately. “I’m worried, sir.”

“About what?” It took Kayler a minute to organize his hosiery in a straight-forward manner. Holding it up in front of him, he pulled the knots from them.

His personal page, the messenger-come-runner boy, brought Kayler’s boots to him, explaining, “I should tell you, you are the sacrificial son. I heard it myself.”

That brought Kayler’s attention around. “Who used that term? And why me? Did they say?”

The boy chewed his lip. “Melicor is helping in the decision. He said you were the likely one.”

His oldest brother. Nemesis. The bane of his existence. It came as no surprise that he held the sword at his back. “I should’ve guessed.”

“They are worried. Filaban gives his daughter right of refusal. But you are the only one that could sway her, they think. Your father would rather not send you. He thinks you are an unfaithful sort.” The boy sheepishly turned red.

“Oh. Is that it—and all?” Kayler drew his clothing on, one layer at a time, in haste—hose, breeches, boots, balloon-sleeved blouse, blackened leather lord’s coat—buckling the stays on the front of it with a practiced single hand while reaching for his hardened, matching cuffs.

“Your brothers do not have the same way with the ladies as you do, my lord. That is a known fact.”

Kayler rolled his eyes. “So the war is upon my head. Great.”

“It seems so, my lord.”

“War is inevitable, you know.” Reaching for his sword belt, Kaylor strapped it to his hips. “And I will be the first casualty. Killed in Filaban’s courtyard, most likely.” Striding from his chamber with the page at his heels, Kayler went on with his reasoned rage, “Melicor has likely plotted this from my birth.”

In truth, he had convinced himself that Melicor had manipulated the relationship with Filaban to the point of anger, but he had no way to prove it.

“Can I go with you, my lord? Perhaps I could help—to remind you in being faithful. Or to be your look-out.”

Kayler hesitated in his stomp toward the royal court, pausing to frown at his little squire. “Did you not listen to a word I said? I’m likely going to my death—if I’m to be sent to Filaban’s keep. The man is our sworn enemy.”

“I have faith in you, my lord. You will charm his daughter, and she will love you. We will have peace, and it will be at your hands.”

Kayler took in the boy’s sincerity, the wide-saucered black of the page’s eyes in a well-tanned but gaunt face. He kept the boy running, that was for sure—evident by the scrawny, wiry-muscled build before him. Roughing his page’s hair, he grinned, “What would we do without each other, aye? You’d be stuck with my brothers. And what would they teach you?”

“Certainly nothing important, my lord.”

Chucking him on the chin, Kayler laughed outright. “Certainly not the same pursuits I have. Perhaps you would be more well-rounded if you worked your days for one of them.”

“Indeed, sir. They are layabouts. You—I have to keep up with. It is much more fun.”

“I fear our fun is over, Tonnin.”

“Nay, sir. We are about to start an adventure. I can feel it in my bones.”

“Well, then. Let’s see if your bones tell the truth.” He didn’t need to say it, but he reminded the boy, “Stay out of sight. It bears us no good if they realize you are hiding.”

Saying quickly, “Of course!” Tonnin raced off to the back entrance of the throne room, to the other side of the curtain, behind which all the mutterings and counseling could be heard.

Kayler silently thanked God for the boy’s loyalty and stealth. Tonnin had a perfect recall, an attention to detail that simply amazed Kayler—and was the very reason for his placement in service. Before Kayler had met Tonnin, he’d ne’er used a runner, a page, a squire, or a valet of any sort, but the boy had proved himself invaluable.

Minutes later, they entered the main chamber of the royal court. As required in formal presentation, Kayler waited to be announced, then strode swift and sure to the spot below his father’s throne—kneeling in obeisance, saying, “You summoned me?”

Vampirubus

2010-05-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Vampirubus is out.

SUBGENRE: Vampires, Menage et Trios

RATING: 4 quills, the Lady’s Chamber (for Menage)

WORD COUNT: 45, 880

DEDICATED TO:
To all the people who ever dreamed of a ménage et trois. This one’s for you!

LOG LINE:

Stoker and Crim, two vampires looking for a queen for their minions, find Maggie—by scent DNA marker. They sweep her off her feet, make her into a vampirubus—vampire-come-succubus—and show her how unique it can be to be loved by two men at once.

BLURB:
Maggie’s a late shift waitress at a twenty-four hour diner. She never expects to be visited and swept off her feet by a vampire named Stoker. Or taken to an island, and made into a vampirubus—vampire-come-succubus—by him and his equally stunning friend, Crim.

AN EXCERPT:
He sprawled out beside me, real ginger-like, and slipped a leg over mine, kneeing up into my crotch. And, God help me, I got moist there.

Licking my throat first, he whispered, “You’ll be my queen, you know.”

And then he sunk his teeth into the other side of my throat, right where he’d licked, but opposite from Stoker’s. At the first of the bite, I whispered, “You’ll be sorry.”

I cried the whole time he sucked my blood. But, like before, the euphoria came quickly and the dazed feeling reached into my eyes. I swear, it was orgasmic.

Stoker got to us, and I know it was only seconds, but it was seconds that were out of his control. His strength, I knew, somehow…through transmitted fluid or something…would return if only he would drink once more. It would equalize his system.

I know it was killing him to not be strong enough, even, to knock Crim free, because he tried, and that greedy bastard kept sucking, a hard drawl. So, Stoker didn’t have any choice. It looked like Crim would drink me dry, if Stoker didn’t stop him.

So, Stoker licked his own lips, and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Maggie,” like he’d done before, and he peeled my bra down, pulled my nipple into his mouth, sucked—so sweetly for only a moment, then bit me again. Right into the blood veins there. Not as quick as the jugular, but less apt to kill me, I know now.

Crim lifted his head, leaned over and kissed the corner of my mouth, then flicked a tongue out to steal the blood he’d left there, that had come from his lips. It felt reverent, and loving. Then he licked my throat again, sealing the wound he’d made, and slid down my body, trailing kisses, until he exposed my other breast, laved it with his tongue.

To Stoker, he said, “We will be brothers in this.” And he clamped down on my other breast.

Let me tell you, the experience was exquisite. Two men, weak with wanting me, suckling at my breasts. Although their teeth were in the blood veins, their mouths formed around my nipples, and it made me arch into them, needing and wanting to be sucked more deeply.

But Stoker knew when to stop. I suppose the thread of my pulse told him that. And I suppose it only lasted a minute or so, if that, but time stood still and when they stopped sucking, they began licking over the wounds, healing me.

God knows how long I lay there while they did that. But somewhere in the middle of the glorious attention, I felt Stoker’s hand slide to the juncture between my thighs, to cup my womanhood. Yes, through the pantyhose. I was warm and wet, though, and that barrier did not hide that.

Crim kneaded the flesh of my inner thigh and his licking slid up, back to my neck, and turned to kissing. The attention made me positively languid. I couldn’t have, wouldn’t have moved out from under that for anything. Though, I never, ever, think I fantasized about two…devils like that making love to me. For that was what they did.

I don’t think they left an inch of my front side unkissed. Unworshipped.

It isn’t all about blood with them. There are more to vampires than that. They are sensual beings, who long for relationships of a lasting nature—to be loved as they are. And they aren’t just takers. They give as good as they get. (No, better than they get.) And those men have shown me that.

Stoker moved downward, kissing a trail from my breast to my navel, and then he slid his tongue under the waistband of my pantyhose. That, alone, made liquid literally pool between my legs.

I wasn’t thinking, really, or I probably would have whimpered for these two guys to stop right there. I mean, I had always, always been disappointed by sex.
But I went with the flow. Well, I laid there and let them have their way. I figured…if I died that night…I was dying happy. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t like something they were gonna do. It was going too good. And, to tell the truth, I wasn’t really thinking ahead.

Stoker moved some more and I felt his nose, no, his hot breath, through the pantyhose, right at my crotch. And then his tongue—yes, through the pantyhose. I know my eyes rolled up in my head. Because he started sucking (without teeth)—and let me tell you, that guy can suck.

In my ear, Crim whispered, “Now that we’ve fed…”

Sexy. His voice was pure velvet. It promised so much. And I wanted it all. Everything he, and Stoker, wanted to give me. And it seemed so natural for him to say, “Now that we’ve fed…”

I know what happened when they fed. The blood rushed through them, fully engorging their sexual organs. Making them want to…

If you like what you've read here, you can pick up the whole story at http://www.mojocastle.com --Enjoy!

Explosion of releases! Please look!!

2010-05-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

Finally, what (I hope) we've all been waiting for! My books are coming out in a boom, boom, boom, fashion! Just go to www.Mojocastle.com and see what's come out over the weekend.

Destra and the Lustpire--a new type of vampire tale.
To Claim a Queen, a historical novella.
And the re-release of an early favorite contemporary, Three In Their Cups.

Keeping up with stuff

2010-02-03T04:48:00.000-08:00

Help! I've fallen and can't get up...says the Carys Weldon website.

I'm looking for someone to design a website for me. (It's a paying job--looking at all options before deciding who to go with.) So, if you have the skills and want to give it a shot, just let me know.

Anybody got a funny story to tell? I could use a joke or two. I'm trying to write today, and starting early by blogging. But I have to keep this short because I get tangled up in blogs, email, etc. and don't accomplish anything else.

I had oatmeal today. Now, I'm trying to decide if...since my brain is fed, and my tummy warm and full, will I get tired first or a sense of accomplishment? Which do you get? Pumped up or bogged down?

New (personal health) news

2010-01-13T08:13:00.001-08:00

If you're wondering why I've been so sketchy for months, I've just been caught up in more of the same on my health.

I went to the doctor yesterday morning, 9 a.m. and learned my results from my latest CT scan--something is growing...again. I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago this month and they removed 26 lbs of tumors and cysts and endometriosis and scar tissue. That surgery was a good thing, right? The doctor back then said he scraped off my ovaries and left those in. I guess those are what things are attached to. So, they did a vaginal ultrasound yesterday (sent straight there.) I'm sure it's another hurry up and wait deal. You know, how big will we let them get, how many can we get in a month or two or three of watching before we bother to go in and get them out.

My question for you is...have you ever had an intravaginal ultrasound? It is completely invasive. So, if you have had one, did you have a male or female technician? I would think men would like to do that sort of job. The girl yesterday held up the instrument and said, "This is made for comfort, don't worry."

It wasn't a tiny tool and I wondered who made the thing and thought, this size tool will be just right.

If you're interested in the topic, you can read more at the link included!

Happy New Year (Sorry I'm late!) Fudge Contest

2010-01-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

Heya folks. I've been incommunicado a lot lately because of health and computer issues, both. I'm guessing most of you have forgotten about me completely.

In personal news, I had throat surgery in September. I haven't done much since then except surf netflix and qvc--which is a wicked swamp for women like me. I get mired down and can't seem to click the channel to get away from it. It's not like I'm even buying from it. I just zombie watch.

Am I the only zombie watcher in the world?

I'm supposed to finish some edits but my leg's been killing me and painkillers and muscle relaxers are doing enough, so my computer time is very very short. My laptap crapped out and we can't find the reload disks, so most of my personal email addies were in that. Feel free to email me and see if it comes through!

Now, do me a favor, tell me how things are with you, and what you're hoping to do in this fine new year. I'll tell you now, my plans to start a diet on the 1st was shot in the foot. To console myself, I tried to make some fudge for someone else but it failed and no one else wants anything to do with it. I know... dump it in the trash fast, girl!

But nope, it tastes good, and I'm kicking my holiday depression by feeding it spoon fudge. I need a good fudge recipe. I can do the one with the chocolate chips but I wanna do it the old fashioned way. What IS the trick? I'll give a ten dollar gift certificate to anyone who can give me a fudge recipe without chocolate chips that works for ME. And I will try them all, even if I get a bunch. After all, if I'm not dieting, why let a friend suffer on nothing but salad?

230 mpg, electric cars, $4500 cash, and health care?

2009-08-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'm willing to admit, straight up, that I don't really get some of the "mastermind" thinking going on in this country. Please read, figure it out, and explain it to me?

I read an article that you might find interesting: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090811/D9A0UEG00.html

It talks about electric cars, the "supposed" wave of the future. Apparently you can drive 230 miles in the GM Volt before you have to charge it, and they say that should take about 10 minutes. At first, I sat back with a "Wow. That would be so cool." But then the ugly little inner id I argue with daily began to poke its ugly little head out with bothersome possibilities.

Really, I need you to explain the good parts to me. Or tell me what your opinion is, good or bad, on the whole enchilada dinner cooking in my brain.

The appetizer was, of course, the cool car with amazing gas mileage. And then I fell into the soup...

It interested me in particular because it got me thinking. If we don't have to buy gas, or at least not as much, what will happen to all our convenience stores? I don't think they'll go out of business. I think they'll put electrical outlets in front of the parking spots, so you can come and charge up there, and shop for ten minutes.

Of course, that brings to mind the Walmart auto center and how two hours of waiting costs me a fortune, even if I just wander around with the intention of window shopping. I always find things I need, or the impulse to buy won't let me walk away from.

Back to the soupy car talk, though...

Alaska and other colder climate areas have electrical outlets like the ones I'm talking about because cars in those places have extra heaters, and literally have a plug-in for hooking up so their cars don't freeze up. So, I can see that some areas won't have a problem with converting to the hybrids/electric cars.

But I think a lot of people will quickly realize that we're switching our gas usage to electric usage. I would think gas stations and recharging stations, even restaurant parking, would have to charge for your electrical charge-up time. I mean, somebody has to pay the electrical bill. And since most of the U.S. doesn't have these electrical outlets already, they will have to be installed, and we all know the initial costs of those being put in will be passed on to us, the consumers.

Imagine the gas station which will then provide electrical charging options. I can't see them paying that extra portion of their power bill to charge up hundreds of customers a day and not getting anything out of it but the profit off the snacks you buy while waiting.

What do you think?

On one hand, not using a fossil fuel sounds good. We don't want to run out of our natural resources. Save the planet and all that. I really am PRO planet, andsaving resources, not trashing the world we live in so our kids and grandkids (and on down the line) will be able to enjoy some of the great vistas and recreations we do when we go to, say, our parks and lakes.

Just thinking about it almost lulls me into a peaceful little cocoon where I can dream of butterflies everywhere, and the sight and fragrance of woods, and flower filled landscapes, and wonderful riverways where canoes float peacefully, and shade trees make the world just seem heavenly.

But then, I always see the rapids up ahead and know I'm gonna get my happy little ship dumped upside down. It's inevitable. I'm not that good at captaining when there's waterfalls or rapids. I'm the girl squealing "Hang on and pray we don't flip out!" That is, of course, right before I run into a rock, or tip the boat to one side avoiding an overhanging branch. Picture: Fat chick going, "Aaaaaggghh! That wasn't a good move!" Right about the time I do the first half of the cool kayak upside down deal.

I might even hit my head on a rock while I'm under there. I'm silly enough to think it's fun after I survive that sort of thing.

Which is actually a metaphor for...can I stand to be turned upside down by this whole car thing, will I be smiling when I come up for air?

But then to figure it out, we have to look at what will be generating the extra power requirements. Will whole grids need upgraded to handle the increase the world/country will require if we all switch to the electric cars? Will we see more blackouts? How will generate this extra power? I thought they were scrambling to provide our current needs.

I guess we could put in some more hydro powered dams, and solar panels and windmills. I dunno where, but thankfully I'm the blissfully blinded and can just drive around in my new electric car with obliviousness to how it's powered. Beyond plugging it in, I mean.

I'm not against the hybrids. I'm just thinking about the whole deal. I like to travel, to drive across country. I stop at a lot of gas stations for gas and bathroom and snacks, but I think the mandatory ten minutes for charging might seem like five minutes too long. Maybe you could stop and do five, and stop every hundred miles and do five minutes. I dunno. I'm sure it would be good for those of us who really should walk a little more.

Some people would obviously charge up at home every time. Most people probably don't drive as far as I do in spurts. So, this won't matter to them. But I'm wondering if it will effectively take care of our gas problems or just transfer them to electrical problems.

And, of course, we're generally talking hybrid cars, so they can use gas and you won't have to stop and charge if you don't want to. You can fill up your gas tank and fall back on that when your power unit needs recharged. I'd say battery but I'm a little confused on the battery pack needed for the electrical car versus the battery a regular car uses. Obviously the battery packs would take up more space. Cargo area? My trunk, where I put my groceries? Or what?

Most of the hybrid cars I see on the road are two seaters that look like nothing more than the front seating area and the motor compartment. Too tiny for my tastes. But then, I'm not a scrawny chick. Maybe little people would love them. I know a ton of people that think the hybrids "are so cute." Me? I'm always looking at head room (claustrophobic), and leg room (leg, hip, and back problems demand I consider the space for my legs to be stretched out, or shifted around--whether I'm a driver or a passenger.)

I guess it doesn't matter. We regular folks will deal with whatever comes. If we can afford one, we'll get one. Maybe two or three. It'll be just like tv. Everybody'll have to buy to be cool...or whatever.

I would like to go on record saying...I don't think SOME people will ever give up their gasoline engines and muscle cars. There will always be classic car enthusiasts. I will always think the 65 mustang, or the Shelby, or the 66 Fairlane, or the 57 Chevy's of the world are truly worth owning.

The thing that makes me rave most, or which fired me up so much more than the thinking I've already tossed out for you, believe it or not, wasn't the gunk I just chatted about. Think about this...

We did the auto industry bailout. What was it? $700...BILLION? We bailed them out and then had a price tag of about the same for the banking bailout, right? (I'll stomp and rant on that another day.)

Okay, GM was supposedly going under, we bail them out, and then I hear they are selling over to Fiat, a non-American company. I'm still dizzy from trying to figure out how they can accept our tax money turned bailout cash and then sellout what it seems our government now has the lien on. If anything, you'd think the government would say, "Okay, we're selling cars now, too, and everybody can get a car at a socialist price, like we're gonna do on the health care."

(Yeah, I'm being facetious. I don't think that's realistic. Government doesn't appear to be good at managing business, in my opinion.)

But okay, we're Americans, we deal. We take it, whatever gets shoved down our throats. (Gag reflex here, and as an erotica writer, I immediately think of being on my knees in front of a man...insisting I'll like it, if I just try it.)

But then I blink, shove that aside, and see this article that says GM has this Volt car that is so amazing, but they aren't releasing it until late NEXT YEAR.

Well, folks, I read that to mean...they are busy reaping not only the happy low interest bailout cash we'll be paying back in increased taxes, (money our government borrowed from China, by the way), but they/GM are going to let the government (read this to mean US taxpayers) give the $4500 cash to QUALIFIED buyers, and sell a ton of cars through that little program, which costs taxpayers in tax levies to come--which is gonna be really crappy for those who don't qualify for the $4500 but qualify to pay higher taxes to cover the giveaways.

Maybe you qualify for the $4500 tax back and bought yourself a new car and are thrilled with the whole program. I dunno. But I'm thinking I wouldn't qualify for it, from what I hear about the deal, so I'm a little bit snippy on the topic.

So maybe I need you to explain to me why this program is great for everybody? All I can see is the bailout money coming out in future raised taxes, and the $4500 per car sold under this other program as another increase in taxes. I mean, the government doesn't have the cash sitting in Fort Knox. They have to raise the money, or pull it from somewhere.

Which brings us back in our circle jerk to the taxpayers on their knees and a whole array of taxes bombarding us, and standing outside the ring of fire is the Chinese government, the largest COMMUNIST regime on the planet. The ones who attacked MONKS not too long ago.

I wonder if this isn't a conspiracy to have us sell more of ourselves out to the enemy. They could take us over without lifting a weapon. As it is, Chinese folks are buying a lot of American property.

I'm just saying we need to pay attention to what's going on. We need to think through it, not just believe the first newscast we hear on a topic. Not just believe the folks that say, "Oh, this is gonna be so good for all of us. Trust us. Let us do what we want and you'll see."

Because, invariably, we can't see the forest for the trees, until the woods are on fire and the smoke is choking us, and burning our eyes so bad all we can do is run, and then stop, drop and roll until we're in a fetal position.

Is this too melodramatic? What do you think? Do you see it differently? If so, explain it to me (nicely please).

Until we chat again,
Carys

Korea's cloned drug sniffing dogs

2009-07-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

In today's headlines, I saw an article about Korea cloning some drug sniffing dogs. They took a working labrador retriever, cloned it, made a litter of seven pups, and put them into training. One was dropped from the program due to injury. The other six, after 16 months of training, are now working at the job they were literally born to do. The guy in charge of the project was the assistant to the man who got in trouble for falsifying test scores or something back in the Snuppy Afghan Hound clone deal. I bring this news to you this morning because I know you probably couldn't have gone another minute without knowing the most important fact about this whole situation...all six dogs are named Toppy.

I don't know about you, but little things like an animal's name, drive me crazy when I see a story about an animal. A horse is stuck in the river. Locals try desperately for 17 hours to rescue it, but it is swept downstream. What's the horse's name? Who owns this poor horse? How did it get in the river in the first place? The info never surfaced. The horse was finally dragged with ropes and a chopper up the rocky cliff side because, for some crazy reason, it was easier to do that than fly it across the river to the flat side of the bank.

I watched a show recently where a town's elephant in India got caught in a mudbog. The whole town turned out to see if their lucky charm was going to live or die, to cheer it along, many getting into the mud, climbing into the chest high mud and going under the elephant--which is very tricky since the elephant was tired and slipping and falling down a lot--but the brave men of the village fought on...what WAS that elephant's name? I dunno. Something like Moombahtoe.

The real story in both the horse and elephant stories were the heroes that risked their lives to save one animal. As a horse lover, I was certainly stricken over the equine story. Somebody HAD to save it. The upshot of that tale was the owner was charged with neglect. It over-rode the story of the heroes who worked so hard to save the animal. As much as I wanted the horse saved, I was actually ill at the end of it. More because I realized the value those locals had put on the horse. I mean, entire search and rescue and firemen teams were on the job to save it, costing the taxpayers a ton of overtime money... and I wondered... are people at risk because this who team of rescuers are out playing hero at the river? I was afraid to go and read the town's fire marshall report to see if there were any fires that day.

The elephant? My mother has a huge elephant collection. (The non-eating types.) So, I've learned something you probably already knew... elephant statues with their trunks up are symbols of good luck. You can imagine what a real elephant, tired enough to give up, could do to a whole town of believers that their luck was completely tied to the health and safety of this animal in the mud.

You'd think, if their entire town's luck depended on the creature's safety and health that someone would've been watching it better in the first place so it couldn't get in the mud bog. Therefore, thinking... it's their own fault, could have given some folks a bit of pleasure at watching the dummies who let their god-bles-sed being to stroll without supervision when it had such a ditch close by.

Anyhow, I had to give kudo's to the scrawny little men in their village who literally took their lives at risk to carry ropes under the elephant and mud, so they could try to pull it out. And more to the itty bitty man who cimbed on the thing's back, despite the slipperyness and the all-over threat of being rolled over on. I hope you're getting the full image. The mud was so slippery and deep, a person could easily go under, get sucked deeper, and never come out again. We're not talking two inches of it.

Interesting enough, the heroes that were interviewed after the elephant was saved said they took comfort, when they held their breath and went under the mud and elephant, because they could feel the elephant, cold as she was. They took strength from her presence, and her trust that they would save her. I thought it was simple and sweet, their trust between the creature and the men working to get her to safety. The simplicity of the women and children watching pensively on the side banks, praising the men and elephant, and praying...

You just don't see a village come together like that very often. It was a little like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, after he'd done his dirty deed and it looked like all was lost, and they pulled together to sing and dance anyway. And then, voila!, Christmas returned.

I felt like I had been slipping and crawling through the mud by the time they got that packaderm onto dryer ground. Ditto with the horse in the freezing river.

But, as much an animal lover as I am, I've begun to question the way we people do things. As you know, I have a 3-4 lb yorkie named Pixie. We also have Mojo back, who is the 4 lb yorkie we bought for our third daughter on her 16th birthday instead of a car. They don't like each other much. I believe that'll change after they get a little you know what. But...these silly little dogs are like kids to me.

I have them on my lap or at my feet pretty much 24/7. The only time I get a break from them is when I have to go to the dr. or something and leave them home alone. And sometimes I send them over to my OTHER daughter's house, so they can hang with Pixie's half brother, Tonka. He's about the same size, too. We are ridiculous pet owners. Pixie has a hot pink and black polka dot dress with rhinestones on it. They all have sweaters and hoodies, matching harnesses and leashes.

I've rushed Mojo to the vet at 10 pm because he jumped off the couch and acted like he'd broken his back leg. As it turns out, it is a normal knee cap displacement thing yorkies sometimes have, and it was back in place in seconds, but because I was still worried, I had to have him checked out. Only cost me $125 for the vet to try not to laugh in my face and suggest I buy him some stairs to get up and down from the couch and bed. My husband, who paid the bill, frowned the whole time.

As much as he loves the dog, he comes from the old school farm where you shoot a dog in the head if he outlives his usefulness, breaks a leg, goes blind...or anything like that. But he's a tender heart, and the bottom line is... he was okay with me running Mojo to the vet if he really needed something. But when it turned out to be a knee issue... well, let's just say he wasn't happy about the cash cost of finding out the news, and I got a lecture on taking a moment to breathe before committing to an hour round trip drive and couple hundred bucks. You know, weigh the cost of a replacement dog versus what this COULD cost us at the vet.

But...if it was a kid, you wouldn't hesitate to get it to the doctor, I say in my defense, cuddling my baby, turned away from DADDY or grandpa or whatever I want to call him at the moment (Maybe Mr. Meany.)

So, what do you think? Shouldn't pet owners be sensible? But shouldn't they be willing to do the vet thing if needed?

Do you think the horse owner should've been charged with neglect?

And here I am thinking about the waste of expense to save the one mustang, worrying about how much it cost the town. I worry about the people who may have been endangered because the rescue teams were at the river.

The elephant? I fully understand. Primitive India town, folks living in huts, no electricity, and it was their god-creature. The luck of the tribe was in the balance as far as they were concerned.

And here I circle back to the original thing that got me started. Cloned critters. How long before people like me have the option of having our favorite pets cloned? Not long if you live in the right country.

I wonder, would you rather have a natural descendent of your favorite pet, or a clone of it? Oh, and by the way, the cloned labradors are all named Toppy. Guess the Koreans have a sense of humor. At first, I thought they were lazy. Just come up with one name, make it easy on themselves because the dogs are identical. But then I decided...no, they're just funny people.

But people pushing the limits on every civilized level. We should keep an eye on them. I say, the best way to do it is probably go to eat at Korean restaurants regularly. We may find a conspiracy.

More on conspiracies later. ;)

Deeply penetrating objects...

2009-07-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

If you follow this blog, you probably already know my topics have ranged a lot. I guess I'm what you'd call a real scatter brain.

I write erotica, science fiction, romance...you name it. So, putting that all together is just fun for me.

While perusing a science site, I came across this quote BY A PHYSICIST which, of course, makes it so much more credible than when, say, any regular man says the same thing. And I quote “We know from the entry physics that the largest and most energetic objects penetrate deepest,” said David Morrison, an astronomer with NASA’s Ames Research Center.

I actually found it on a site talking about the Tanguska, Siberia Lake Cheko. There was something on tv that said the earth gets hit like a punching bag every day. Basketball sized objects hit every single day. Volkswagon sized debris every six months. And Tanguska size every 1000-1500 years.

Tanguska sounded familiar, but all I could remember was something about trees laying flat in odd patterns. As it turns out, some scientists have found something with their sonar equipment. The thing is 10 meters (33 ft) down, seems to be about 30 feet in diameter and 1700 tons in weight. So, of course, some folks are conjecturing the possibility of it being a spacecraft. Wouldn't that be cool to find? Or scary...? What do you think, more cool or more scary?

The whole story can be found at this ridiculously long link: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://blackfalconsoftware.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/tunguskacrater.jpg&imgrefurl=http://tech-notes.info/2007/06/30/rr-crater-may-resolve-1908-tunguska-mystery-my-take-the-aliens-did-it/&usg=__j0deVVNkElX-CzDGMH7VDEBQM_g=&h=416&w=649&sz=60&hl=en&start=9&um=1&tbnid=HmuKy3ayzlEtQM:&tbnh=88&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtanguska%2Bmeteor%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4GGLL_enUS331US332%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

Talk about crap! (NOT POLITICAL)

2009-07-16T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ick. I read something I'm still wrinkling my nose over. You know, the kind of story that is very short but may never go away. You can be traumatized by reading it here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090716/D99FODF80.html

You don't have to go because I like to go over the fine points, give you the highlights.

I'm actually trying not to laugh, now that I'm over the shock of it. I swear, I couldn't get over to this blog fast enough. Can't have you missing something that's stricken me. My brain is going, "Ick. Ick. Ick. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Ooh, that's nasty."

It's just...the world simply astounds me.

Like the story a few days ago, it'll sound like I'm telling a joke, but here goes:

A guy named Sodoma... (I know, the name alone would give a kid a bad attitude. I'd have that changed in a court of law. Did you know most surnames originate from an ancestor's profession or crime? I'm getting pictures in my mind. I swear, I can't help it.

On with the story--
So this guy named Sodoma
crapped on the sidewalk... (That's right, the SIDEWALK. The sidewalk on the town square. While there aren't a ton of details to this story, they clarified that he didn't bring the feces from, say, a bathroom, or get it out of a bag he'd brought from scooping after a dog. Oh no, this man made this particular mess fresh on the spot.)

I know, I'm damned wordy and really drag out the dumbest things. I AM working on my pacing.

So, Sodoma scoops up his fresh, uh, delivery
then smeared it on a door

The door of the community coalition.

Sheriff says it's a couple of misdemeanors. Sodoma will get charged somewhere between $65 and $650. (And we used to complain about the bathroom stalls that required a dime or a quarter.)

Sheriff arrested the guy because it was basically against their town's basic morals.

Kinda makes you wonder why the community coalition made him mad about in the first place, doesn't it?

I always wondered what kind of people wiped crap on walls. You know, when you go into a public bathroom and sit down and just get started and look around and...holy shit, crappy stuff on the wall. So disgusting!

Turns my stomach. Ditto with people flippin' boogers ANYWHERE or wiping those on the wall. Is it that hard to get some tissue paper for the job?

What is it with people? How do we stop this stuff that's just plain nasty!

I mean, everybody has things in their nose from time to time that has to come out. But a tissue in a closed stall in the bathroom is a nice way to handle it. Or a tissue PERIOD.

Statistics say one of the most common things to do while stopped at a stoplight is pick your nose. After I watched the Family Feud episode that gave me that little tidbit, I couldn't help but notice...and it is too true.

Don't get me wrong...we all have our own little personal issues, things that offend others. Everybody has to deal with body fluids. Or solids. Or whatever. We all have times when our nose runs so much, we can't keep up with it. Or maybe that's just me and my allergies.

You know, when I was first asked to write erotica, I was told one of the big differences between it and mainstream romances is that erotica doesn't necessarily leave out the body fluids. It wasn't until then that I realized how clean most books USED to be in that department. But since I've been checking, I've noticed a lot more liquids in those mainstreams. Or is it just me?

I have another question for you... Why do people come in the front door and fart? Why don't they push it out before they come into closed quarters? And why do people laugh about farts?

Explain it to me. I dare ya.
And honestly, wouldn't you change your name if it were Sodoma?

Recipes wanted!

2009-07-16T10:12:00.001-07:00

I'm excited about a deal I just made with a publisher. I've been toying with opening submissions for a cookbook where all the recipes are put in poetic form. It is open to anyone with a good recipe and a poetic soul. It doesn't matter if you've written poetry before either.

I created a yahoo group where I could post the calls for submissions. See if you can find it by putting in cookbook contributors wanted or editorJD. Let me know if the page works or not. And read the guidelines and tell me what you think. Everybody's got a recipe, right? Here's your chance to have a cookbook with your own recipe and name in it. Check it out!

In-vitro twins at age 66?

2009-07-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have a new one for you. Have you ever heard of hormone therapy rejuvenation of a uterus after 18 years of menopause?

This will sound like a joke...
So, a 66 year old woman goes into a sperm bank...
Turns out the fertility doctor gave her three weeks of hormone treatment, rejuvenated her and implanted a couple of fertilized eggs from a younger woman. And voila! Lady has twins, gets in the news for being the oldest woman on record. Lied about her age. Apparently, there is no set age for when women cannot be impregnated at the doctor's office, although some won't do it after 50 and others after 55, which is the age this gal said she was.

You can read the whole story here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090715/D99F0AMO1.html

I just have to wonder...WHY? I would be afraid I wouldn't be able to raise them, that I'd die and leave them orphans. (Which is what happened, according to the article.)

The uncle sold exclusive story rights so as to provide for the twins, two boys.

While I have five kids, and love them dearly, I'm happy to be at the "Kids are all out of school" place in life. It's like a relief to get them all to 18 and beyond without them being pregnant or whatever. Although, I don't judge the girls that end up having babies. I see it as a very common place thing these days.

And I see more women, like Sandra Bullock (love her!) 40 and fine without giving birth. She's got step kids now, and she's an animal lover. Those are sometimes easier to deal with than pregnancy, labor and delivery.

I say "Power to your own path," usually.

But in-vitro at age 66, that just sounds like insanity to me. As much as I love kids, I would've said it would be smarter to adopt a child or two already on the planet. Or foster care. Sometimes people THINK they want another kid, do the foster thing and realize that it was their dream, or that they really don't wanna mess with kids all over again. I'm just astounded, I guess, that there are TWO women who've in-vitro'd at age of 66. The other is mentioned in the article, in case you're curious to want to read more about her, too.

Would you do that?
My pregnancies and deliveries were all pretty easy as those things go. My longest labor was only 7 1/2 hours long, the others, in case you're curious, are: 5 1/2 hrs, 2 hrs 17 minutes, 3 hrs, and 3 hrs. (On the dot pretty much--and I'm not exaggerating here.)

Anybody wanna talk about their pregnancies or deliveries...or the sex that got them there? By all means, post away! I've probably confessed this already, but my fourth daughter...I know I conceived her with a condom in my hand...not where it needs to be for prevention. AND my husband had bragged at work that he was going home to get me pregnant. So, he was very persuasive, no--insistent, that night which really boils down to making it all a pleasure for me. Of course, he obviously sealed his own deal or the girl would've been left an angel in heaven. But no, she got a quick joy ride to planet hell.

In other news, I may have to have a surgery on my lower back AFTER a surgery on my neck. Ain't that great? Do me a favor, and pray for some miracles to come my way, would ya? Thanks!

Cyber attacks on U.S. (contest!) Win a $10 gift certificate!

2009-07-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

This posting holds details for a contest to win a $10 gift certificate.

But first, the nitty gritty of today's headlines. How many times do I need to say "Heads up, friends. Let's hope Obama's" chats are making some real progress for US.

It appears a little like...while the cat's away, the mouse has come out to play. Or attack. Not that the president is the actual gatekeeper on U.S. computers.

Have you seen this? http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090708/D99A8SB80.html
It's an article detailing the high number of cyber attacks and cracks made to U.S. security over our Independence Holiday.

Like I've said before, I don't want to be a doomsayer. I want to be an ostrich with my head in the sand, but for some reason, I can't look away. I can't close my eyes.

And I can't be secure in my own little happy corner of the Ozarks when I know the likes of communists on the other side of the world have somehow infiltrated the sanctuary of the U.S.--and I do believe my country is the safest sort of sanctuary from terrorists because we fight the fight on the other side of the world.

What disturbs me most is the trend for terrorists to come over into OUR playground.

Honestly, this isn't really a surprise. Is it?

Clear back when I was young, and Disney put out that movie WAR GAMES, I think the seed was planted. Or maybe before that in a Star Trek or Twilight Zone episode, it was precursed. If so, can you point us to the episode(s)? (Contest opportunity #1: email me with your answers. I'll do a drawing from those who participate.)

In that movie Hackers with Angelina Jolie, we saw a warning.

Before 9/11, we had so many "Look what we can do!'s" And then, when our perimeter bases had been stepped down (thanks Clinton), we were vulnerable enough to take a hit, a really big hit that rumbled the streets around the world.

I don't really want to get into a political bashing here. I just can't help but point out some of the obvious reasons we have taken hits in the last ten years. I know a lot of people want to blame things on GW Bush but the writing went on the wall during the Clinton administration. We were totally set up. Clinton fully expected it, too. That's one of his reasons for bringing in the U.N. peace keeping troops. I know I've said this before, but think, people. Who are these troops meant to control?

With things like the lockdown in China, and N. Korea's little froggy nukey finger itching to play in the big kid's game, we MUST send up prayers or meditation or whatever you personally do. I don't want people to get all crazy in paranoia. After all, what can you do?

Well, you can stay cool, calm and collected, and get your affairs in order. (No. Just kidding. Keep your affairs in chaos.)

I truly believe that there is a higher power that listens when people come together for a common cause and ask for help that can make a difference. So, pray for Obama, and all our politicians, that they will be clear headed and have the best interests for our citizens, and the whole world, upper most in their mind as they make choices in governing our nation.

Stop complaining about the war and start praising the efforts for peace. And do something to commend a hero. Look around, there are soldiers coming home every day. There are welcoming committees forming to welcome them as they arrive at local airports. Find one in your area. Throw some cookies or something, maybe a card of appreciation or balloons in for the soldier and his family. It's a little thing to do considering our troops are putting theirselves on the literal chopping block during daily active duty...and all so we can go shopping at the mall today, and buy groceries without ration stamps.

I say, Thank God God blesses America. As we feed the world and bring peace to its corners, we will be blessed. I'm grateful to have so much. Not that I have a lot. But I like the choice to go to church when I want. I like knowing that, for the most part, if my kids are in school or college, they're generally pretty safe.

Contest opportunity #2: Post anything you do/have done to show support for our troops. If you donated something that was sent, cool. If you collect items and make sure they get sent, sweet. If you write soldiers, someone you know or for "any soldier", awesome. If you can find a place where e-cards can be sent, let us know. Or, if you found a story about someone sending something to the troops that really was worth talking about, give us the link. Participators will get their name in a HEROES drawing.

Crazy Chinese?

2009-07-06T17:41:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of chinese food. Love General Tso's Chicken (as mild as you can make it), and Mongolian Beef, and Sez Schuan, rice...

For a brief few moments, I considered giving it all up.

I know, that's insane.

I have actually considered boycotting all of China's products, and then I realized that my local Chinese place is run by American citizens, so I got over boycotting that pretty easy.

Many a time, I've heard about the Chinese putting lead paint on kiddy toys, or melamine in some food product. Pretty friggin' inhumane, the people who do that sort of thing. They should be shot. You know, first in the toe, then in the shin, then the kneecap. You get the idea.

I guess I should say I'm a fan of more than just Chinese food, and angry at more than the lead paint thing. I'm a big cheerer of their cameras and fireworks. Cannot say enough about fortune cookies that bid me good fortune.

Their politics are, as those of us raised during the cold war would say, they are atrocious, something not to trust. For that reason, I probably would have had to turn down free tickets to the Beijing Olympics.

Especially after their attack on the Tibetan months. When you see a country in this modern world shut down ALL internet and cell phones and communications of the masses, you need to sit up and take notice.

I'm sure you're all over informed on this stuff, and I'm a day behind on everything. But have you seen the feeds on the death toll in Xinjiang? For a quick view, go here: (Wait. Don't worry as you scroll down and see blood. The guy pictured survived the riot.)

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/07/world/asia/07china.html

All of this reminds me that the country of China IS still communist. I'm not an alarmist, not trying to make people do anything but think, and pray. ALthough, I'd be okay if I riled at least one person to a point of waking them up.

While America likes to go and feed the world and fight the fights of the downtrodden, we have some governments/countries who have very opposite political agendas. It is because of these other countries that we need to fight the fights over on the other side of the world. Much better on their soil than ours, as far as I'm concerned.

Have you had a chance to read PACK TABOO yet? It's in the werewolf series NOW IN PRINT and EBOOK from Mojocastle. It's a story about inter-racial romance, but it touches on politics. I'll try and post an excerpt of it sometime soon, see if I can whet the appetites of those who haven't picked it up.

Anyhow, what do you think of the Chinese uprising and all that control they've got? I can't imagine my government blocking off a whole city, locking it down. Can you?

Size DOES matter

2009-07-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

We hear it all the time. Some of us adamantly tell our husbands and boyfriends, "No, it doesn't matter honey. Not at all."

And, in turn, we let them tell us that the size of our boobs and butts don't matter, and we pretend to believe they like us the way we are. (Not that I'm saying any of us lie!)

Most of us just want to avoid conflict. After all, there are some things we just can't fix. Or (plastic surgery as it is these days) can't afford to fix.

But, in some things, size matters so much that we absolutely cannot fidget on the issue. For example, if a man's thingy (you know, hangy down danglies) can't reach your G, it's important. So, someone invented a length enhancing sleeve for him to put on. I dunno if that sort of thing works. Do you? (Please! Please! Do tell if you know!)

In blogs gone by, I've complained about everything like airline seat size to, um, well everything I can think of. And that, simply, is because size DOES matter. It matters most to me because I'm what some folks would describe big and beautiful. Others would just say big. Whatever.

I stepped into an elevator yesterday at my doctor's office and was shocked to find how big it was. There were ten of us in it, and room for another dozen. You know, if the rest were skinny minnies, midgets, and children.

It was a pleasant surprise. As was getting a meal at a fast food joint that turned out to be more than I could eat. I hate leaving a meal while I'm still hungry. Don't you? I always wonder why sometimes I can eat a lot, and other times I can barely get a few bites in. I've been thinking of trying those FULLBARS. They're supposed to make you feel full. Has anyone tried them? Are they good tasting? Do they work? Somebody give'em a shot and get back to me. K?

So, on the bigger and better game, I think a car should have more head room and more leg room. I like big beds but I don't want it so big I can't find the guy I like to cuddle up next to. I like big blankets, but not so much that I lose my little yorkie and can't find her for ten minutes because she's lost under there. (Usually happens when I really gotta go to the bathroom and don't have time to play Marco Polo with her.)

I like bigger shade trees, and smaller roses, but I love big cabbage roses. I love a big steak but am good with a little salad. I love long movies, unless you're talking WaterWorld with Kevin Costner.

I love big books. If it's good, I'm happy to read and read and read. I also like anthologies with little short stories. Like Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers (See my story Creepy Cat in there!) and Deadknots (Paranormal Mystery Anthology I did with my friend CJ Winters.) My Journal Jumpstart (by Jennifer DiCamillo) has a bunch of little short true stories from my life with short writing exercises.

My werewolf series has short stories and the tales get longer and longer as the series progresses. I figure the deeper in you get, the more you need. Am I wrong in that?

Is that true about sex?

I am currently working through the new lubricants for enhancing female pleasure to see if any of them work. Have you tried any of them? If so, please report! I'll give a blow by blow (giggle!) after I've finished checking them out. So stay tuned.

I think I've bounced off my original topic again. (What's new with that?) I was actually planning on blogging about the size of pens. Art pens and pencils to be exact. I dunno if any of you fancy yourself artists or not, but I found this pen and pencil blog and came to the conclusion that size DOES matter.

You can check it out here: http://onelonemanspensandpencils.blogspot.com/2009/02/does-size-make-difference.html

The blogger says he respects your right to differ about whether size matters or not as long as you respect his right to be an old geezer.

I thought about the term Pencil Dick and decided I needed to pull these thoughts together. Can you think of other terms for male genitalia that are sorta funny?

For the record, I personally eliminate donkey dick. That's not funny. It's scary. How ya gonna bury that? (With lots of pain?)

And, have you heard the latest term REDONKULOUS? Now, what do you think THAT means?

Update on muscle cramp info

2009-06-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

Oops, I forgot to add this link to an old Amish cure for muscle cramps. (You know I live in the Ozarks where a large population of Amish live, right?)

I've never tried this, but I like the fact that the ingredient list is simple enough I think you could just add the items to your diet and maybe achieve the same thing.

http://www.stopslegcramps.com/

It's vinegar and garlic, etc. things most people would have or be able to pick up at a trip to a regular grocery store. Okay, I'm married to an Italian, so garlic is a regular deal at my house, maybe not yours. But those are cheap enough.

I'm a big fan of apple cider vinegar. Did you know it has about 95 vitamins and minerals in an easy to assimilate form? It's one of the best/most natural ways to get your daily quota of vitamins. I think it is probably why it was used in popular recipes like pickling and cole slaws. People probably felt better after eating those things and never even knew why. Ditto with apples.

Muscle cramp cures!

2009-06-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

I suffer from chronic muscle cramps because I have fibromyalgia among other things, so I'm always looking for whatever my body might be missing that causes the problem. Despite taking muscle relaxers and qualaquin--a version of quinine, I still have this issue, and it seems to be getting worse.

Thus, you see my chronic internet surfing for cures. Today, I came across something that I think you will all be interested in, a website that lists pretty much everything from toe cramps to cramps just in the left leg, versus the right. It narrows down which cramp signals a need for electrolytes (toe cramps), calcium, magnesium, creatin==I found it to be a list I might refer to often.

My husband, for example, suffers toe cramps. I remember the first time he had one--I laughed so hard I cried. Of course, that was before I'd ever experienced the phenomena. Since, I have been wholly repentant of that laughter. I've taken it back a thousand times.

Anyhow, if you've ever suffered a muscle cramp, even something as small as on a toe, you'll appreciate this list.

http://www.acu-cell.com/dis-mus.html

Check it out and tell me what you think.

Hitler's Art

2009-06-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

I know I said I'd probably talk about SoonerCON, the science fiction convention I went to this last weekend but I'm gonna put that off until tomorrow. Sorry for another day's delay.

I turned the tv on this morning--which is always a no-no if I really want to get serious and write, but sometimes I do it before I think. Anyhow, I have a few favorite movie stars, and John Cusack is one of them. I saw a movie he was in titled MAX. He plays an art dealer in 1918 and buys and sells some of Adolf Hitler's artwork.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I suppose I'd filed away the fact that he had aspired to be an artist at one time. But there's a lot of facts rattling around in my brain that I've put "out of mind."

Anyhow, the movie had me intrigued enough to go look at his art. I thought you might like to check it out, too.

There are links in the middle of the page here:
http://www.hitler.org/art/

And you can click on the pics down the left side of the page here to get a closeup view:
http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures/rpSlideshows?articleId=USRTXE0PD#a=1

You can find more if you google Hitler's Art. That also led me to a page that had quotes from Hitler about being a Christian. I guess I hadn't ever thought about his religious affiliations before.

I find it fascinating, though, that so many people count themselves Christian (over the years) and then go out and kill in His name. I don't read anything in the scriptures that suggest to me that He would approve of murder in His name. (But that's how I read it.)

Here lately, though, I've seen a lot of professing Christians whom I'm pretty sure Christ would NOT agree with. Like that long time mentor/preacher of Obama's, Jeremiah Wright. I'm fascinated by the footage of some of his sermons on youtube. In case you haven't seen them, you might want to go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hPR5jnjtLo&feature=related

Turning the topic a little here, in more than one video sermon, Wright says Obama isn't rich. What do YOU think the definition of rich is? Where is the financial level of income that constitutes wealthy in this country?

Cats (can) spread brain parasites

2009-06-08T15:02:00.001-07:00

I know most of you are cat lovers. Right now, I have a story in Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers just for folks like you.

I also have a story in The Ultimate Horse Lover's Guide, too, but that's a topic for another day. (Those are under that other name I go by. Newbies may brouse archives or links to find my g-er-rated side.)

Okay, I'll come clean. My story in CoC for Cat Lovers is called CREEPY CAT and in that I boldly admit I'm really a dog and pony girl. But I have loved many, many cats over the years.

All that aside, I was watching Animal Planet--the channel I choose to leave on for my 3 lb yorkie, Pixie, to watch when I leave her alone. Well, that and Disney. I don't leave AP on if they're doing something scary like Animal Control on Parade or something like that. Those dog catchers are scary. But maybe not as scary as some of those pet owners out there. (There's an x-rated topic there, don't you think? They outlaw nudity and sex--and that's wholly natural behavior and state of being, but they put animal cruelty on g-rated channels--does NOT make sense to me.)

Okay, that wasn't what I wanted to talk about today. I like a blog called NOT EXACTLY ROCKET SCIENCE. You can find it here:

http://notexactlyrocketscience.wordpress.com/2007/01/14/brain-parasite-drives-human-culture/

I learned that cats can spread brain parasites. Now, first let me tell you how I got there today. On AP, we were watching a show with true animal facts and they addressed the "Do earwigs really like to go in human ears, or eat human brains?" I guess it was a rumor...which I had not gotten into the loop of.

I assume you didn't know since you didn't keep me up to date. In case you didn't know, we have a reciprocal relationship here. I post. You post. We all post. The more you post, the more I think about giving away gift certificates and other freebie stuff.

Anyhow, nobody told me that crazy folks actually thought those creepy earwigs crawled into ears. So, the show had me on the edge of my sofa seat, cliff hung for two commercial breaks before they finally said, "No. Not true."

Such a relief! I mean, common sense told me it wasn't true. But common sense doesn't really rule the world. (You knew that, right?)

Anyhow, that show got me thinking about what kind of things might want to eat human brains. Okay, THAT might be partially because I spent the weekend at SoonerCON, a science fiction convention in Oklahoma City. Heckuva lot of fun. I'll probably elaborate on that tomorrow. Suffice it to say there was a lot of zombie talk over the last three days.

Girls wearing ZOMBIE panties and showing them off. Wait, that was at SINNERcon, which was the late night activities that go along with SoonerCON. Yeah, you might want to read up on THAT and show up next year.

So, back to the brain eating bug thing... Trichinosis came to mind. You know, the kind of worms that live in meats that are not cooked well enough, and more often than not in pigs, of all the critters out there.

I also thought about MAD COW disease which, we all know, is a brain thing.

So, I typed into a search box on the net, "Parasites in human brains." And there I got pointed directly to NOT EXACTLY ROCKET SCIENCE where I learned about the THING that cats may carry.

Vaguely, somewhere in the back of my mind, I had heard about "Pregnant women should NOT clean cat boxes." And I believe this is a warning all people should know about. Just google for more of the WHY NOTS.

Anyhow, because I am NOT a rocket scientist, and know (no offense here) that some of you aren't either, I thought you'd like to read a blog which assumes we need informed on a few points. And I did, so...yay for the blogger who created the informative piece.

And I'll just creep back out of my blog here, where I generally post nothing of value to the human race and point you to something that might keep your brain from being eaten. Go. Please. We do NOT need more zombies in this world. We have enough braindeads walking around.

(She says as she actually goes to eat a pretty rare piece of steak.) If I sound like I've had something eating my brain, it's probably whatever's in steak that doesn't get fully cooked.

Ah, great. I just realized I have a totally reasonable excuse for being sort of a mad cow.

Great. Just great.
Wait. Is that good to know I have an excuse for my insanity, or not?

Crazy stories, duct taping boyfriend?

2009-06-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently, a woman in California got her friend to help her duct tape the daughter's boyfriend...

It's a short story, but you can read it here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090604/D98JH7T80.html

What was more entertaining than that is the list of strange stories at the bottom of the page. Imagine a company which lists bodies as assets.

Just thought you might be interested in some off the wall reads.

Interesting stats

2009-06-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

I find stats on religion, political votes and polls, and terrorists fascinating SOME DAYS. Today is one of them, I guess, because I spent way too much time surfing sites to read up. So, steel yourself folks. Get ready for the cold, hard facts.

(Giggling) I can't remember where I read that over 90% of stats are made up, but the more I heard people quote me, "Well, such and such percentage of people said this..." I started asking, "Which people? Where did you get this information?"

My husband, for one, is a master of guesstimations. Are you? If so, get a piece of paper. Guess how many people in the world are of which faith. And then sit back, and get ready to test your knowledge. (I hear the bells of final jeopardy playing, don't you?)

Honestly, I only like to make up statistics when someone else has thrown one out that I know is obviously fake. If you said, "Seven million Americans bite their nails a day," I would probably throw back, "But 1.62 million of those are chewing their toenails, and are infants under the age of 11 months. Do those really count in this reckoning of yours?"

(Those stats were completely made up, by the way. I have no idea how many people in America chew their nails a day in the U.S. For that matter, I don't even know how many people are in the US currently.)

Which meant I had to go look that up. Total U.S. population can be found here, and you can also break that down to state by state if you want to.

http://www.google.com/publicdata?ds=uspopulation&met=population&tdim=true&q=what+is+the+population+of+the+USA

I think it started clear back when the game show Family Feud posted percentages on the big game board. Most of the time, those answers were nothing like mine, so I assumed they were asking...oh, I dunno, aborigines in Australia's outback, or pygmies in the rainforest or something. You know, no one that had grown up in the U.S. anywhere near where I did.

But then, as the game wore on, I started thinking more like their polled public answers. So, then I had to wonder if they should say "We polled people in the midwest over the age of twelve. Or under the mean average of 79." Or whatever.

Anyhow, as always, I'm mostly just rambling on when I should get to the crux of what sent me searching today. I braved my email inbox this a.m. and have been sucked into the muck and mire for over 6 hours now. So, if you see signs of me being mentally ill, I'm sure I can blame it on overexposure to an abundance of spam.

Which makes me question how the islanders who were fed SPAM during WW2 and afterward are faring mentally. (Totally irrelevant except for the fact that I saw the most amazing Island dancers in person Monday night. They did the ring dance where the guys contortion their way through hoops smaller than any hula hoop I ever played with as a kid, and they fire danced, and made fire literally crawl the flooring in a mesmerizing way.) Anyhow, that's a whole other story. If you chant over and over again for me to tell you about the nearly naked men in skirts dancing at the church shindig, I can cough up more details, but I really think I've hit the highpoints already.

Back to my original topic, which was statistics...

Since 9/11/2001, we've heard more talk about Muslims than I remember in all the rest of my life put together. Mostly, we Americans are continuously being fed "tolerance and acceptance". Personally, I think it's funny since tolerance and acceptance don't seem to be in the mainstream Muslim thinking.

I saw an article that said Obama called America one of the biggest Muslim countries in the world. He bases that on the estimated 2-3 million Muslims supposedly in our country.

Of course, Obama was raised by a woman who loved Muslims and married two of them. And he was raised on pro-Muslim turf. So, he's got an affinity for Muslims. It's no surprise that he's trying to help Americans accept Muslims.

While I personally find that a little scary, since it reminds me of the pre-9/11 days when we were told to let Muslims settle in our communities and accept them with open hearts and arms. We did, of course, because America lets everyone come in and make themselves at home.

Now, I need to go on record as saying I don't think it's right to terrorize anyone. I'm not posting this discussion to incite riot. I just think I'm tired of keeping my tongue on political issues because I've been told a writer should keep personal opinions on politics to themselves so as not to run off a book sale.

But I'm an American and I believe in freedom of speech. What good is the right if you don't exercise it? Especially if you hold your tongue while everyone else is ranting their view?

I'm a big fan of Edmund Burke, who said "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

I believe Americans need to wake up, and speak up, especially when it comes to issues involving terrorists, politicians NOT representing you properly, and other issues that are seriously hitting home these days.

So, I've opened up the Muslim can of worms today. Why? To point at Obama and say, "You know he's FOR Muslims, right?" Nah. You'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to know that. I assume my readers are on the ball enough to catch simple basics about our new president.

And I know a bunch of you voted for him. Power to you for exercising your right to vote. We all should vote according to our conscience, and stand behind our choices by virtue of pride...if there is any in the choice we made.

I thought you might be interested in a few sites. The first answers the question of how many Muslims are in the world, and in the U.S. in particular. This is important because we need to know what the percentage is, and take that into consideration as special efforts are made to accommodate them.

http://www.islamicweb.com/begin/population.htm

This may be put into better context when you look at the pie chart of ALL religions found on this page: http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html

Here's a website that lists the terrorists who have perpetrated crimes against the U.S. or its citizens:

http://www.nctc.gov/site/profiles/index.html

Now, if you are so sucked into stat fascination and need another site to ponder over, you might want to go here: http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/index.html

Oooh the poor mexicans!

2009-06-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'm against illegal aliens in this country. I believe we provide plenty of legal ways to be in our country, and those who don't want to do the paperwork can stay out. (I know, it's not politically correct, but I don't care.)

So, I'm surfing the net and what do I come across? An announcement from the Bank of Mexico saying the U.S. recession is hurting migrant Mexican's families. Apparently, the money being sent home to Mexico has decreased 18% since this time last year and the article says our crackdown on illegal immigration is partly to blame and has some mexicans not coming up to the U.S. now.

You can read the whole (short) article here:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090601/D98HV2FO0.html

Tell me what you think.

World War 3 has started?!?

2009-06-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you've heard about the nuclear test North Korea launched this last week. Have you seen the headlines speaking about it? Announcing it as the official beginning of WW3? I thought, if you haven't, you might be interested in reading a few of the articles.

First, let me point you to a WW3 scenario drawn up long ago: http://www.threeworldwars.com/world-war-3/ww3.htm

Now, here's the headline that got my attention today, the one that says WW3 started this week:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=99441

Here's an article that says it actually started on 9/11: http://www.conspiracypenpal.com/columns/ww3.htm

Here's some bulletin/community boards/info on what Nostradamus said would start WW3: http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message477091/pg1

Now, I ask you, what do you think? Has WW3 started? Do you know of other articles addressing this topic?

I'm not saying it has or has not, (I'm still meditating on that), but I think we should wake up and see what's going on, and consider the consequences to come from the can of worms spilling out onto the world wide political scene.

Real cacao?

2009-05-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

Ever try real cacao nibs? Little tiny pieces of dark cocoa bean? I've been intrigued by them ever since I first saw them on ebay. You can buy them by the pound there.

Then, while at a gift shop in Bradleyville, Missouri, ( http://www.getawaygiftshop.com/index.html )I came across this Rain Forest trail mix that included the real chocolate flakes mixed with coconut flakes. I'm not a super coconut fan, but together it was great.

Every time I go into a health food store or gift shop, I look for it. I gave you the link but I'm not seeing it among their products online list. I do know they sell wax melt candles that are out of this world, strong fragrance for the small pittance they ask. They really give the house a nice scent.

So, if you're interested in something like that, you can contact them. Their soaps have a really nice scent, too, and I bought some of the lotion because it was a unique scent and strong.

Now, all that aside, going back to that real cacao that I became addicted to after picking up a small package of the rain forest trail mix at the Bradleyville store, I found something of the same nature at my local health food store and this is a link to their online site:
http://shop.sweetriot.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=65&products_id=182&zenid=89210340c15ee835260e09eefb001d5f

Now, obviously, you're probably not going to be interested in picking up a dozen of these little tins of chocolates, but I thought you might keep your eye out and try it. At my local store, the individual tins run about $3.88.

The big point of going into all this is...I actually think you could lose weight using these really strong bitter sweet candies. I tried the #65.

I think the harsh unsweet center of the real cacao nib, coupled with the outer sweet chocolate layer, makes for a satisfying treat. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these might be the elusive little thing we are looking for when we have those eating binges, and snack on just about everything. You know, the stuff you take a bite of, and put back in the cabinet, and then move onto the next thing you can find, hoping to solve your cravings? When you can't quite put a finger on what you're craving?

The little pieces are small, like a chocolate covered raisin. Nothing big, nothing to brag about on the size level.

But, I think, when you have those munchies and can't seem to settle your cravings...? If you get some of these, I think you'll find that you don't need to go through every cabinet looking for the thing that'll settle your craving.

If you see it, and try it, come back and let us know what you think. If you've already tried it, or another thing that you think fits the same bill, come back and let us know.

I really can't afford any more of those foraging episodes. It is so much easier to take a little piece, wait a few moments, and realize the cravings have been appeased. I just thought you might also want to try this. You don't have to go for that particular brand. It's just the one I found that I think would do the trick. I'm sure there are plenty of other products of the same nature out there.

Ciao!
~Carys

Pushing a suicide jumper?

2009-05-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

Did you see the headline about the suicide jumper in China who climbed up onto a bridge, contemplating suicide while police cordoned off the road, blocking traffic for five hours? Apparently a guy got tired of the drama and went up, shook the man's hand, and pushed him. I thought it was funny when I read it. (The guy survived.)

You can read the full story here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090523/D98C8RHG0.html

I completely understand someone being suicidal. But it appears more like a plea for help and attention when a man goes to a public bridge and contemplates it for five hours while traffic backs up, giving police ample time to inflate a jumping mat below...and some stranger time to get annoyed enough to go up and push him off the bridge.

And my girls call me a drama queen.

I would never go to a PUBLIC bridge where traffic is thick. But, apparently, that particular bridge is very popular for the suicidal types in the area. The article says 19 people have tried to jump there since APRIL. Nineteen. I had to lean back and say, "Wow."

So, apparently, people in China have as much trouble, or maybe more, with money than we do. The article didn't say if any of the others had accomplished their mission to die. I'm thinking the cops should just keep the mat out there.

The guy who was pushed broke some bones. I bet he'll sue, get the money to pay his bills, and it will be all good for him. He could probably also sue the police for allowing the man to break through the police barricade. Then, if the man who pushed him is broke, he could still get his bills paid. I mean, doesn't their lack of prevention thereby make them accomplices now?

Debt forgiveness?

2009-05-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

I like to watch the independent CURRENT films they play on satellite channels. Have you ever seen any of those?

There was one just yesterday where people from Africa were interviewed. I'm sure I'm way behind the times on this sort of thing, but apparently Tony Blair did a "debt forgiveness" to people in underpriveleged nations like Ghana.

Wouldn't WE like to get that?

But, you know what? To my shock and irritation, the people on the receiving end of the debt forgiveness were angry over it. I just can't fathom their thinking.

Although I know it is similar to the attitude America gets around the world. We give and give and give, and those who received from us are torn between appreciating it and biting the hand that feeds their nation.

Several times lately I've caught clips on tv about the people living in actual dumps, collecting garbage to sell for any price. Of course, in American living standards, the situation is atrocious and people are donating quite well to help the people in this garbage dump.

But, more to my surprise, they interviewed an old lady who'd lived 35 years in the dump and got a place in brand new public housing. She was not happy there. She complained that people expected her to wear shoes now that she had a nice apartment. Of course, they had provided her with new shoes, too.

Then, the interviewer asked her if she liked having a tv. The lady's lips pursed. Apparently, she had a tv while living in the dump, and electricity to run it.

She was annoyed that they'd taken her ability to work away from her. Now that she didn't live in the dump, she wasn't allowed to scavenge. She had to make do with the free foods and standard of living the government provided.

I just wonder...is it me, or does this seem remarkably ungrateful? My husband is a firm believer that people will walk away from something if they don't want to do it. He thinks that the people living in those dump sites do so because they like the lifestyle. They perceive themselves like modern day treasure hunters, work when they want, can get handouts regularly, and don't have to work regular hours, or pay taxes.

What do you think?

Silly armed robbery...?

2009-05-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, well, I know you count on me to find interesting things to talk about, and sometimes I fall short, but I have a new one today.

So, a kid walks into a store and does his best to perpetrate an "armed robbery"...but he doesn't have a weapon under his clothes (Jimmy Cagney style), oh no, this is a modern Einstein.

Get this...he had a banana.
Yep, that's what I said. A banana?

When he ended up detained by being locked in the store until the cops arrived, he ate the banana...thus destroying evidence.

When will modern day criminals get smart enough to realize there are cameras everywhere these days?

You can read the short blurb on that story here:
http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090516/D987HMC00.html

And in MY local news, Friday (yesterday a.m.), I was at a Kum & Go gas station. For those of you who live in more civilized parts of the world, YES, they really are called that. Google if you don't believe me.

Anyhow, I was filling up my gas tank when I heard some commotion. Running out the door of the gas station, the manager--a tall lanky dude--(that's a little crazy)--starts hollering, "Hey! Don't you dare drive off! You owe me!"

The guy in the van who was driving away without paying for his gas had his driver side window down, elbow on the "sill." So, there was no doubt he heard, because I turned to look/watch and he actually leaned out his window, head swiveled backwards toward the guy running after him, yelling. Yes, while he was driving away. So, he compounded the situation by endangering another car or two pulling into the station off the busy street.

Next thing I know, (while I'm still trying to figure out what the heck is going on)--yes, I know, I'm a little slow at having the words sink in. Anyhow, the manager lobs a rock (God knows where he found it. For all I know he had it in his pocket for just this sort of occasion.)

The rock hits a dead center to a window, shatters it. So, now everyone is looking, mouths agape.

The driver hits his brake, leans halfway out the window and screams, "You crazy sonofabitch!"

To which the manager replies, "Yeah. That's right. Why don't you come back here and we'll talk about it."

"Oh, fuck you!" The driver calls, hitting his accelerator hard, swerving to narrowly miss the next car coming in.

The manager then announces to a packed parking lot of onlookers, "I had a feeling! Sometimes you just know somebody's gonna try and drive off like that."

I was still wincing over the possibility of somebody, like a kid, being in the van, and maybe being hurt by something like a fist sized rock coming through the window. So, I went inside, making up the excuse that I needed another water bottle. (in my head, of course, no one else would care if I needed a wb or not.)

The guy is already back behind the counter and rattling on, obviously still on an adrenalin high from his little situation. No one is saying a word. It was funny to me because the rest of those people couldn't have hiked in there to pay any faster.

I had paid outside at the pump. I just wanted to see what he was saying in there because every time the door opened, I could still hear him talking at high, pumped up, volume.

Anyhow, the line gets long fast, people behind me. I get up there to the counter and break the stunned customer silence by asking, "Did you get his license plate number, so you could file a report?"

"Call the police?" He shook his head. "Didn't you hear me say we'd settle this between us? He won't be coming back here any time soon."

I was thinking, "Oh, yeah he will. Guys that'll drive off owing $30 for gas will come back and throw a rock through your window from the street later, or watch to see your car and slip around to damage it when you're working the next time."

I didn't say it. The guy asked us all, "Did you see it? I nailed that window with that rock."

I said, "Yeah. You broke it. I hope there were no kids in there." That gained some murmurs of agreement from the crowd.

And I'm thinking, I wonder, in a court of law, who would be out most? A drive off is stealing, but there are rules on how to report things like that. I'm sure no one in the world would go to that gas station if they knew the manager might lob rocks at their vehicle.

I mean, the average person isn't a thief. (I know, I'm an idealist. I NEED to have faith that people are basically good, and the ax murderers and rapists are few and far between.) BUT sometimes honest people pump gas, climb in their cars and pull away, then realize (V-8 slap to the forehead) and turn around and go pay. Imagine having a moment like that, heading toward the road--and getting a rock through your windshield. The guy in the van wasn't within 100 feet of the exit/roadway. Barely pulling away from the pump when the rock hit.

I know my husband sometimes will pull the car up to the front of the store, in a parking space before going in to pay, if the place is hopping and people are waiting in line. I learned a big lesson. Hold up the pump traffic. Don't take a chance of getting a window knocked out by some psycho $8 an hour gas clerk.

I dunno. Maybe it was HIS station/franchise. Do you think that makes it a validated response?

The guy didn't miss a beat to my comment about kids being in the vehicle. He said, "Well, now, if he had a kid in there that got hit by flying glass--"

I inserted, "Which could blind a kid. Or how about the rock hitting a kid in the head and killing 'em on the spot?"

The guy said, "Well, that guy deserved what he got."

Now, I don't think it's right to drive away from a pump without paying. My brother and one of my daughters have worked at gas stations, and my brother's pay was docked the amount if he didn't insist someone prepay. (Nevada stations all have PREPAY on the pumps.)

Gas stations, to me, are getting scarier and scarier. The one my daughter worked at...the managers/owners of that store were idiots...she's a cute little 5'6" white chick with long blonde hair, and they'd have her work the nightshift ALONE. It was the most robbed store in Springfield, Missouri. When I found that out, (learned both in the same convo), I insisted she quit right then.

Love her, but sometimes she's too confident in herself. Probably because she always had her fat mama and big Italian daddy backing her up. Apparently, she would do things like go out to the parking lot to tell the Mexicans they couldn't fight in her parking lot. (Not a racial slur here. Apparently, they did it regularly there.)

It was the care in Springfield MOST LIKELY to get your car stolen from. One shift, someone stole a car with a baby in a car seat in the back seat. They brought it back two minutes later when they realized it. I guess it's one thing to steal a car, another to get a baby with the deal.

I don't know about you, but I love to read THE DARWIN AWARDS. Talk about your stupid criminals. And the CAUGHT ON TAPE shows are funny when it goes to convenience store thieves. (Grosses me out when it is about cooks gone bad.)

Do you have any stories that are funny or horrifing like these?

Remembering our Moms...

2009-05-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

This post is for women. Men will probably say, "What up? There's no sex in this post." But then, given the topic, who wants sex and their Mom talked about in the same sentence or blog?

If you decide you don't want to read one of my book length posts, by all means, skip to the last paragraph or so and get the recapped version.

I know my kids go blind and deaf and sing "Lalalala" at the very thought that I'm not a virgin, that I'm not really Mary, Mother of God...although they DO believe they are totally akin to heavenly beings. (Angels? Fallen Angels?) I keep swearing I am, too, but apparently my halo has slipped (when my mouth first opened?)

Anyhow, you know what weekend it is. Come Sunday, whether you are getting along with your Mom or not, whether she is living or not, you will probably be thinking about her...or adamantly trying to put her out of mind.

I'm sure my five kids will be torn between all that. One may be wishing I was dead, who knows?

The idea is sad--now that I'm seeing it from the Mom's viewpoint. If you remember, last year I mentioned that one of my daughters boycotted me for my birthday and Mother's Day, which happen to fall on top of each other. I cried and cried and cried. Have you been on either side of this door? Both sides are cold, aren't they?

The point isn't to whine. It's to say...I have gone years where I didn't talk to my Mom for Mother's Day or her Birthday (both in the same month, too.) I never did it out of meanness, though. I did it because I made myself sick over the idea of listening to her go on about how wonderful my two sisters are. It seems that no matter how good I was at anything, it wasn't ever as good as they were. Am I alone in this sort of thing?

My mother never reads this blog, but I like to publicly apologize--to her, for not being everything she wanted, and better than I am. And to my daughters for maybe being too much like my mom, or worse, being like no other mom in the history of mouthy moms--in any case, someone to avoid for whatever reason. And to my Mother-in-law for not being the best daughter-in-law in the world. God knows I tried. Although, I have to admit, my husband's youngest brother has a wonderful wife who holds her tongue. EVERYONE loves her, even me!

I'm just saying, life as a woman, mother, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law...they're all hard. *Hugs to all of you.*

It's funny how we can love our Mother's but spare them only a few calls a year. Some of us may visit even less. I'm always impressed by those who have wonderful relationships with their mothers, and never admit to strained feelings. I don't know how they do it. Although, I wish my girls could all say that. But then, I voice my opinions when I see them doing things I taught them (for 18 years!) to not do...and that doesn't make me the most popular person in the family. But what do you think, should a Mom stop being a parent and voicing those things just because the kid had another birthday?

I wish I could cut my tongue out, usually, after I leave the situation and go through self-recriminations. But then I go and watch something like WIFE SWAP and see the other end of the spectrum--the moms that don't set any rules.

I want to believe that scripture in the Bible that says (paraphrase) "Train up a kid in the way they should go and they'll not depart from it. Or, they might, but they'll circle back around, given enough time, and kids of their own."

I actually like to flip to the next page and read the scripture that says to beat your kids. Okay, I think it actually says something more about sparing the rod spoiling the child. I swear, I was NOT a child beater. But, I honestly think the urge to do it comes up more as they are adults than when they were younger. Think it's my patience getting old?

I hope that circles back around by the time I get some grandkids.

Back to my original thought...about Moms and remembering them...I was looking at flowers online and got sidetracked by wedding flowers and then went down THAT merry little lane. Remember, I have four daughters, only one is married. I dream A LOT.

Anyhow, that led me to a page with an article about how to honor loved ones who have passed away. (Crossed over, died, whatever you want to call it.)

You can read it here: http://weddings.about.com/b/2009/02/18/acknowledging-a-deceased-parent-at-your-wedding.htm

But BEWARE, you will probably get choked up before you're half way through the suggestions people have shared about how they honored loved ones. That'll come about ten comments after you wonder if some of the dolts bothered to read the previous ones about lighting a candle. Some of the ideas were precious enough to read through the repetitions.

Near the end (in case you get bored and wonder if there's anything new the bottom of the list), some photographer guy suggests photoshopping your dad in...first in regular form, and then if you don't like that idea, just make him look ethereal, like a ghost. I actually thought that was worth smiling over.

Anyhow, if you're missing your Mom, or anyone else this month (thinking ahead to Memorial Day), you might want to incorporate a concept into your home. Obviously, the candle idea always floats.

But, if your Mom's still here, think about calling her. My husband's mother had cancer/surgery/chemo last year and I've been thinking a lot about the fact that it's nice she's still here, and they're talking a lot more, like when he's driving home from work. (Half hour commute.)

So, I guess I just want you to take a few minutes to appreciate your mom for SOMETHING. Call her if you can stand it. Send her flowers last minute if you haven't already, and can afford it. But really, the call is GOOD. Make it cheerful and upbeat, and bring up some funny memory. Keep it short if you have to. And maybe you could send up an extra special prayer in thanks afterward. Thanks you had her around for one more year to hear her voice. Thanks the call is over. Whatever.

Just remember one thing...bringing somebody into this world is never a painless thing. If pregnancy doesn't tear you apart, labor probably will. I mean, really, delivering a bowling ball size head doesn't come easy. And if you were lucky enough to be knocked out for the ordeal, you still had to wake up to the incision. And ALL moms have to deal with crying babies, night feedings, dirty diapers (that alone should get us into heaven!) Although, I have to say, those night duties seem so much more preferable to adult night duty where you wonder/worry about your kids and have no control over where they are, who they're hanging out with, or what they're doing.

So, just...give your Mom a break. Or be nice to someone else's mom. Or strain yourself to think of a nice thing about a mom, a good memory or whatever. And, if you come up short, GOOGLE. ;)

250 ways to kill hiccups?

2009-03-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

While looking up some info on prescription medication I'm taking, I came across an interesting site...with things I had never heard before. I thought you might be interested in 250 ways to stop hiccups.

I don't usually mind if someone has them. I mean, I'd rather no one did, but it happens. So, who cares?

The answer is simple: Men like my husband. That's who. I dunno why, but hiccups drive him crazy. I'm hoping this website's information may bring peace to us for years to come.

http://www.musanim.com/mam/hiccup.htm

Go ahead. Check it ouf it hiccups sometimes plague you or your kids or your husband or best friend or whatever.

I hope you're having a great day. *hugs* ~Carys

Crying over a movie, losing weight, and other crap

2009-03-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

This morning, I watched Reign Over Me, the Adam Sandler movie about a man who lost his wife and three daughters on 9/11. Have you seen it?

It's not an action movie, or a romance. And knowing just the little bit I've mentioned about the plotline, I had to wait until I was in the mood to watch it.

It's not a fast paced flick, and I think a lot of people would turn it off. I stuck with it, though, and found it to be a serious tear jerker at the end...in a good way. It was sooo sweet, the way the man missed and loved his family.

I've been having trouble focusing on working/writing. I figure reading or watching a movie is, at the very least, helping me to think about other stories and characters and how things are plotted. Hopefully, I can incorporate some of those things into my future writings.

I moved on from the movie, and multi-tasking with laundry and ebay and other stuff, to watch that damned You Are What You Eat. I don't like that show. The nutritionist annoys the hell out of me. She's rude and insulting to the overweight people she helps. She knows her stuff, though, because they all lose weight. But some of the stuff she suggests they eat just make me ill. Bean curd tea for breakfast? Who the hell wants to eat that? Or, er, drink it?

Does anybody that reads this blog actually consume bean curd puree or soup or tea or whatever for breakfast or any other meal?

The narrator on the show says, "Here's a whopper of a shopper she's about to confront. She's wearing an enormous size..." It gets worse from there. I think he said something next about her "craving for grazing" and "the girl's extra weight is the equivalent of carrying a bridesmaid up the aisle."

The host asks, "Has it come into your head just how big you really are?"

I'm here to say to the entire world...I don't know one overweight person who wouldn't be thin, if they knew how to make it happen. No one wants to be obese.

Of course, I took offense for every overweight person in the world. Talking to fat people like that, or about them, isn't acceptable. Considering more of the world IS overweight, I wonder why we allow that BS. Do you think it's because we're being attacked and so we don't

And the host waltz's into the bridal shop where the girl is trying to find a wedding dress and makes the insult, "You know, you're the widest bride I've ever seen." Then she goes on to say the girl doesn't deserve to have a body.

It just breaks my heart. Why is it okay for people to be rude to the overweight?

I learned something. The host says our poo should NOT smell, and should look like big fat sausage. I figured you would want a second opinion on that, so I went surfing the internet for websites on poo, and found a site that is quite adamant about it being "the original" and that you should not go elsewhere for info on defecation.

If you're remarkably bored, but oddly fascinated enough to go and see this site, you can find it here: http://www.heptune.com/poop.html

It even has a link to the poop photo gallery. I just gotta say, Geez, what is this world coming to?

Worse, if you read down the page, the author adresses the concept of eating poo. Yeah. I'm scarred at the thought.

I followed a few other sites and was annoyed that one author suggested that autistics often eat their feces. There's even a name for eating it. (Yeah. I'm about to throw up just thinking about it.)

So, why talk about it here?

Because...I've had IBS symptoms for nearly 18 years. The one thing I've learned is that an increasing number of people DO have IBS or Crohn's or some other digestive problem.

I've tried all sorts of things to cure myself. I've eaten rice for months, almost exclusively. That helps, believe it or not. And it generally reduces the painful spasms that often accompany bowel issues.

I've also tried a variety of vitamins and digestive enzymes. I tried those after I realized I wasn't losing weight with the rice diet.

The enzymes help the situation, but aren't as good as the rice at keeping things flowing smoothly, regularly.

I've tried everything from fiber pills to fiber in beverages to...well, just about everythiing anyone, including a ton of doctors and pharmacists, have suggested. I still have those "gotta go NOW" moments.

I know, many people will say "too much info!" But, honestly, the longer I suffer with this problem, the more I realize I am not alone, and the majority of people I know have some sort of digestion issues. So, it's a topic to tackle, and revisit whenever we get some news that might help someone.

So, now's your turn. What do you know about this? Can you make any helpful suggestions?

Favorite books and authors and red heads...?

2009-03-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

I have always been attracted to red headed women on books, and sometimes I really like the dark auburn on a rugged hero. But, I took a beginning to a romantic novel to one of my workshops and they voted the red hair down, hands down. I found it interesting, too, because I also searched out most popular names for years and found Jonathan and Patricia to be in the top ten almost continuously. So, I named these characters to suit the research...although I called the girl Tricia. Anyhow, the other writers didn't like the combo of names and hair color.

I love books set in the highlands, Ireland, Scotland, Old England, Wales, etc. I love tales like William Wallace (Brave Heart). One of my favorite covers of all time was a book called Devil in a Kilt. See it here: http://www.amazon.com/Devil-Kilt-Sue-Ellen-Welfonder/dp/0446610259

It made me a Sue Ellen Welfonder fan. If you're a fan of highlander tales, you might want to check out her whole back list on Amazon. Let me point you to one in particular, Bride of the Beast. If you read the Publisher's Weekly review, it says the lack of period detail will frustrate readers. I didn't find that to be true. I did suffer from a few other things. The hero's name is Marmaduke, and he's scarred terribly. I preferred to put those thoughts out of mind while reading the tale. I was particularly skewered and drawn again and again to a certain passage where he gives the heroine oral favors. I thought the scene remarkable in the way it was worded, and thought you might be intrigued enough to seek out a copy and report your thoughts on it.

What do you love? Any books that you can totally recommend? Also in the back of my memory is a book with a heroine Philippa/Pippa. An Amazon search pulled up a bevy of books that might be pleasing to my reading palate, both with characters named Philippa/Pippa, or written by someone of the same moniker.

Interesting how things happen to pull you into another writer's snare. Don't you think?

What is your preferred description of a hero, and a heroine?

Say what? Man dies of overdose from Viagra, but...

2009-02-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

Here's a story for ya...

http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2009/02/26/man-28-dies-from-viagra-overdose-during-orgy/

Man dies of an overdose from Viagra because he's an idiot. Er, because he made a bet with two women. I'm sure men everywhere will blame this on the two chicks who bet the guy couldn't satisfy them for half a day.

Apparently, the guy managed to win the bet (12 hours of nonstop screwing?) but, unfortunately, just moments after he passed the happy time limit--and won, get this FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, he keeled over.

The silly thing is probably the part where the reporter mentions that the women think the walnuts and ice cream he ate were partially to blame.

Now, as you probably have figured out by now, I am clueless on a lot of things in this world, and every day is filled with new surprises...but dammit, somebody should've told me walnuts and ice cream are aphrodisiacs. I mean, I've heard about oysters (ick, not my kind of thing) and chocolate (which gets all my rave reviews) but...

Honestly, I am NEVER gonna feel guilty about eating ice cream again. Every spoonful I slide into my sweet little mouth is gonna get an "Mm" and the quiet thought that I am doing my part in gearing up for my next sexual encounter.

It may even be a good way to get our men to hand deliver and spoon feed us. Who knows?

And...you may be shocked to hear me say this part...I'm just gonna leave the nuts out of this...this time.

But chocolate and whipped cream and...wait...I'm too old to have a cherry. (Dammit, I knew something was missing in this picture!)

Backin up here a moment (pun intended!)...the guy was a russian. I'm just wondering if anyone of you lurkers can recommend russians personally? Is that too much to ask, or should I just go and put a spoon in my ice cream and leave the world alone...?

What's wrong with this funeral director? Men? Rapists?

2009-02-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

I was stricken by a story about a funeral director. You can read it here: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090226/D96IU9680.html

It's about a man who didn't get paid by the family, stored the body for over a year, and then disposed of it...by putting it in one of his hearse's and parking the thing on a lot he owned. It was found about two months after he left it, when the stench had leaked out so bad that people in the area call the police.

Now, we all know dead bodies begin to stink, and you can't get that stink out of, say, a mattress, sofa, car or wherever if it is left there very long. So, the first question I would ask is...why would the guy let a body rot in his OWN hearse. And the second is, why would he park said automobile on his own property?

I know. I know. You thought the first question should be "Why would a funeral director dispose of a body that way?" If anyone should know the best ways to get rid of a body, it would be the F.D., wouldn't it?

I could see a guy not having enough room to store a body forever. Who would want to? But then again, who would want to be a mortician in the first place? (I actually know the answer to that. My uncle was a mortician for awhile. It's a recession free business. Great, too steady job, if you can't get over the creepy parts.)

Apparently there is some form a funeral director can fill out to petition the state/county/whatever to take a body and dispose of remains. It's a standard procedure, I guess, since many people can't afford the costs of body preparation, funeral, grave digging and covering, and plot upkeep afterwards.

Now, this disposal of the body wasn't a hasty thing. The body had been stored for a year or so. Plenty of time to fill out the form, and get the body taken care of by the state. right?

I need to say...it's nice to hear that you don't have to spend a fortune on you or your loved ones demise to see the body cremated or buried. I think that should probably be announced from rooftops. From what I hear, mortuary services are incredibly high. I know, personally, that funeral directors often play the card "This is the last thing you'll do for your loved one."

I think it's criminal to hornswaggle people when they are already struggling with something so personal and heartbreaking as the death of a loved one. I mean, geez, talk about knocking someone when they're down and adding insult to injury by stealing their wallet, too.

It's just comforting to know that our govt, whether state or local, will take care of our deceased loves ones in the event the dead person hasn't made previous arrangements/payments to cover their final resting box and plot. (It's hard to word this in a way not to offend.)

So, stress no more. If you don't want to buy a burial package, Uncle Sam will make sure you get a coffin and a place to park it.

I knew a woman whose adult son (early twenties) died of cancer. She didn't have any money, and the government covered everything. She cried a long time over the paper lining of the casket. She said it was nice, as paper goes, but she felt bad that her son didn't get velvet or silk to lie on for eternity.

I was heartbroken for her. But also thinking, here's a word to the wise...if you need to fall back on the state burial for help, you can church it up by splurging for a couple yards of fabric. I'm sure the funeral home could manage to put it in, and arrange it so the edges were tucked under. But what do I know?

I know I don't have thousands to bury myself just any old day of the year. I'm extra large in size. I wouldn't fit in a standard coffin, probably. So, it would cost more. I say, let the govt dispose of me however they want to.

But I also say, there are two things I'd consider tattooing on my body. A) Do not resuscitate me. And B) All parts of this body are for sale to the highest bidder or black market, negotiate with my husband or children. Let this body not pass in vain. Corneas, sold. Heart, sold. Liver, sold. Kidneys, sold, sold. Research facility? Take the whole thing or whatever's left. Just ante up the cash to the family.

It infuriates me that organs are donated, yet hospitals charge for the organ on the "installation bill."

I say, pack those babies in an ice chest and haul them to a country where there's a store in the city that pays for 'em. (Saw it on the discovery channel or something.) Apparently, some people are only getting $3500 for a kidney. Robbery, don't you think? Especially considering it is a life saver.

But, hey, I'm dead, go get at least that much. Ya know? Or sell it to science study labs. What do I care? I'm out of it.

Why drop the whole carcass in the ground, when you can make a considerable sum? I know it sounds brash and heartless, but it's my body we're talking about. I want my family to have a little something when I'm gone. Since I don't have any things to really pass down, why not give them a cash bonus. I wish there was a place you could go to sign up for organ sales in advance of your death.

My husband has always refused to be an organ donor. He thinks the cut throat (pun, hehe)doctors won't waste a minute in taking you out of this world. He thinks (I think) that some doctors take "finder fees" or harvest bonuses.

Okay, so I'll come clean here. I really AM okay with my family selling my organs. If I knew how to do it in advance, I would take care of it. I don't, though.

And I put organ donor on my driver's license about every other renewal time. I used to think doctors would be more likely to keep you alive, on ventilation or something, until they could find recipients. So, maybe it would buy you time to recover or something.

What do you think?

Do you have plans for your body after you die?

Testicle Festivals!

2009-02-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

Hey, did you know there are testicle festivals?

And, yes, I mean more than one!

From this moment on, when someone says, "Go have a ball," or "I had a ball," I will probably wince.

To think, years ago when I went to the National Rodeo Finals in Las Vegas, Nevada, and saw the bull ball/bladder--a canteen made from a bull's ball sack--I was horrified, even though the sales people insisted that it serves up clean water.

Back to the testicle festivals...I was surprised to hear that people actually congregate to eat them in public places, and they've allowed themselves to be videotaped wile eating them, too. If you'd like to laugh, or groan, or lick your lips over this sort of thing, just youtube or google TESTICLE FESTIVAL. I thought about posting a link or two, but I think you should run a search, so you can laugh over the number of results you get.

So, I guess they are being held all over the world. I saw a video from Alberta, Canada. Another in the UK, and several for places in the USA. And God knows the Chinese eat everything.

When I was a teenager, I had a friend named Margie whose dad owned a sheep ranch. That was the first time I'd ever heard of Rocky Mountain Oysters. She'd been raised on them, and vowed they were good. They smelled good, fried like chicken.

I gotta ask, do you think God just liked that flavor best? I mean, every time you turn around, somebody else is saying "Tastes like chicken."

Anyhow, I told the truth--starving myself this week, so thanks, but no thanks, I'll have to pass. (I was the epitome of the anorexic teen. I went for up to three weeks at a time without eating anything. Just drinking water or tang.)

Now, you might be wondering if I was sitting here, bored, and just came up with the idea to search the internet for something to do with testicles, or maybe some other dangly thing in that vicinity. But no. That is not how I managed to come across the topic, and visuals. (Eeek)

Would you be surprised if I said my husband brought it up? We can also depend on men to inform us of things we probably could have gone a lifetime without knowing. Don't you think?

Well, anyway, he asked me yesterday, "Did you know they have testicle festivals around here?"

I didn't. They have every other kind of festival in the Ozarks. If you can raise it, bake it, eat it, home make it, call it (pigs, hubbies, kids), or race it, (including outhouse races, pigs, and tractors!)there is most likely a festival in the Ozarks to represent it.

And these folks eat everything from possum to squirrel and turtle and frogs and crawdads...so I guess it stands to reason that this area, known for its agricultural roots, would eat 'em up some balls.

It's rocky terrain here, so there is actually more livestock than crops grown here...which may explain why there are multiple testicle festivals in the Ozarks.

Anyhow, I just thought you might need to know about this phenomena. So, now it's time to come clean...have you eaten balls or something else that dangles near them?

Funny videos!

2009-02-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

Hi there. Hope your day is going great.

I've been up since before 6 a.m., but I can't say I've accomplished much.

I have wasted some time watching silly videos. Check out this link to the funniest car commercials.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-870TqORDZSs/worlds_funniest_car_tv_commercials/

It's a collection of commercials that runs a little over 7 minutes. I thought the SPORTKA Evil Twin ads were the best. I wonder which ones you'll think are funny.

If you know of some other links to commercials that made you laugh, please post them. I think we can always use something to make us chuckle, or better yet, laugh out loud.

I'm working on science fiction (romance, of course) this morning. So, my heads in the stars. But, my bladder keeps me grounded and running. Tell me, why can you drink a bottle of water (or any fluid) one day, and be able to hold it like a camel, and the next day the same amount has you hot footing it to the toilet every two minutes?

Identity theft, telemarketing calls, and Lifelock

2009-02-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Hi! By now, you've probably noted that I've flunked out on all my New Year resolutions. I, apparently, am going to have to work at getting regular at posting to this blog again.

This morning, I turned on the trap. You know, the tv. It's almost always a mistake for me because I don't write fast, or much at all, if I get hung up in a movie or a series like Millionaire Matchmaker or Bad Girls Club. Have you ever watched those? Yesterday, I got snagged into The Real World: Brooklyn. There was a lot of controversy over one of the, um, girls. Apparently she started out as a he and had the determining appendage lopped off three months before the show aired.

So, I turned on the television, and started watching an old Don Knotts classic: How to Kill a Figg, followed by The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. Comedies, of course. Sometimes I just NEED to stare blankly at a screen filled with nonsensical humor.

I really want to watch Bride Wars and Role Models. Have you seen those?

Anyhow, the commercials come all too frequently these days and I was feeling beat up over the whole identity theft thing, and wondering what Lifelock actually does to protect your SS number, and why the heck the government doesn't automatically do it for us. I mean, they issue the number and insist we use it on everything, opening us up for fraud. I am totally disturbed every time I give someone a check and they insist on seeing my driver's license, writing its number and my date of birth. With my signature on the check, and DOB and DL number and phone and address and bank account info...a thief has all they need to steal your identity.

I wrote an article on ID theft that is available for about fifty cents from the Amazon Shorts program. I honestly feel like we are put at risk by the organizations/businesses that insist we give them all our personal information. ID theft is the fastest growing crime in the world, which is pretty scary.

Along with that, I received a phone call this morning. When the caller ID showed up as FFFF, I didn't answer it. I was annoyed, though, because A) It was just after a.m. While I am often up by then, and was up today, I am also an insomniac, and on the few occasions where I am able to sleep in, something like this happens. It's completely annoying. Especially when it is with a company I don't normally do business with, or can't even identify by the caller ID.

So, I got online and typed in the phone number: 616-980-2331. Turns out lots of people are getting calls from this place. It sometimes originates from Feature Films for Family.

Now, I did buy films from them back when I lived in Nevada. They sell only g rated movies, which I liked, especially when I had five kids, all young, and was looking for movies that didn't contain too much objectionable material.

Online, though, I read that the number is being used by another business. Somehow, they've programmed in where the phone rings with the number on the ID but when you hit redial, it goes to another number and company. I have no idea how that can happen. But, it's a sneaky thing.

All this led me to thinking about telemarketing calls. I have kids who work in legitimate call centers. I'm sure we all appreciate the tech support people for our various computers, cell phones, and other gadgets. That's a different thing than the folks trying to scam you into some bargain deal that is NOT a deal.

Like the guy who called me last week to sell me a weekend in Branson. Offered me a $300 package for two nights, three days, plus a show and small meal voucher.

I live fifteen to twenty minutes north of Branson. I don't know if you know this, but there are plenty of hotels in Branson where the rooms are $30 a night for 2 people. And discount show tickets are offered on every corner practically. So, $300 is pretty steep for a weekend in Branson.

Which means, I guess, if you're interested in a weekend in Branson, let me know and I'll run down there and drive through the place, and take names of the hotels with the best deals advertised. The Super 8, by the way, is not a good bet in that town. It's been under poor management and is falling apart. They rented rooms in the summer that had non working a/c, and then got a little nasty when people asked for a room change. Ditto on them not cleaning the rooms well. One of my writing groups used to go there every three months. I swear, and I'm not kidding on this, I was in the same room three months apart and saw some nasty stuff on the same bathroom wall--that had not been cleaned/wiped down in all that time. I simply would not stay there. I feel the same way about the Super 8 closest to the St. Louis Airport...and or the exact same reasons.

Okay, so all this combined to get me thinking about how companies sell our contact information without our permission. There are numerous sites on the web where you can complain. I was honestly wondering if signing up on some of those sites really signed you up on the free information lists.

I registered on the Don't Call List and immediately my number of unsolicited phone calls increased. So, that was a no brainer.

My biggest problem is...my number is supposed to be unlisted but I see it everywhere on the net where you can type in a name to retrieve contact info. EVERYWHERE.

And then, to top all the rest off today, I came across this site: http://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Person-With-an-Unlisted-Phone-Number

I just thought you'd be interested in seeing how they go about finding you, even if you're not supposed to be listed. (It's just friggin' annoying, in my opinion.)

Anyhow, thought you might care to read it. Please, by all means, share your thoughts on these topics and your experiences. I'd like to know if I'm alone in being perturbed about all this, or not.

Ice storms, puppies, and inaugural blanket

2009-01-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

If you live in the midwest, or eastern half of America, you know about the crazy ice storms tromping across the U.S. I live right on the line between the really bad and the Oh, My God, it's horrific.

I've been lucky so far. I still have power. I heard on the news, some people in Arkansas have been told they will be out of power for at least two weeks.

Check out the weather channel. They've been showing pictures of the incredible amount of ice. It's weighing down the tree limbs, breaking 100 year old oaks, splitting them in half. It's crazy. Sounds like a gun shot, and suddenly half the tree splits off.

It's actually quite beautiful to look out at a crystal dazzled wooded wonderland. But people are being told not to go out at all, unless they have to. They have a lot of downed power lines and trees falling into the roads.

I guess Arkansas has declared a state of emergency. Hundreds of thousands of people are without power down there. And the forecast isn't giving us any hope of a meltdown for days. It's 16 degrees here, now.

And I have this silly song jingling around in my head. It's a rip-off/parody...maybe you can help me figure out what's it called...? One line in the song says "Walking around in women's underwear." It's to the tune of Winter Wonderland.

I hope you are safe and warm, wherever you are.

I know one thing...my little puppy, you know, the 3 lb yorkie named Pixie...hates the snow. She's not a noisy dog, but she cries when her paws touch the snow, yelping like she's in pain from it. It's SO sad...and a little bit funny. Right before she starts it, she looks up like the most pitiful pup, and if you stay stern and say, "We can't go back inside until you go potty," she puts a foot down, as if she's going to walk out into the cold three inch snow, and then lifts it back up, and starts the yelping. If you don't scoop her up instantly, she puts that foot down, and lifts another leg. And then another. It's pretty funny.

Of course, she's too little to keep out for any time at all. I would just die if she caught pneumonia or something. So, we're talking...she's maybe out there all of two minutes, if that much. Did I mention she has a hoodie, and a parka, and a polka dotted dress, (etc) and I bought her booties but they were too big. So, I'm looking at a pair of $1 gloves. I'm thinking I could put that on her, with a cut of the material or two, and it would keep her feet (and tummy) warm long enough to go outside to do her business. It will be ridiculous, I'm sure.

My family thinks I'm too silly over this itty bitty dog. But hey, I don't have any grandkids yet, and she likes to cuddle with me. Have you ever just needed some unconditional love? Yorkies are so great at being excited when you come home, and they like to go places.

Anyhow, enough about the dog. But you could comment a little about your dogs, or pets.

Sunday, we went down to Harrison, and the home we went to, they had a huge, huge, very pretty siamese looking cat. But he had to weight 20 lbs. He stalked around the room as we sat down, and we leaned to pet him, and the woman said, "Ack! I wouldn't recommend that. He, uh, bites. Very unpredictable." He didn't bite any of us. But he did lay at my feet and on top of my purse, and I did have to pry myself out from under him...a little nervously. Do you have a cat? I do not have one at the moment. But one of my daughters is trying to give me one her brother-in-law dumped on her.

I just can't make myself do a litter box. I did it for years, and will probably do it again. But right now, I'm enjoying not having to clean up cat hair, etc. Yorkies don't shed much, if at all.

As for the inaugural blanket I mentioned up in the title of this post, did you hear that Obama's blanket got stolen? No, I'm not kidding. You can read about it here: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/?pageId=86727 Or just google INAUGURAL BLANKET.

I'm thinking this is a first. I can't imagine anyone having the cajones to steal the president's inaugural fleece blanket which is the FIRST presidential item the man gets, and the only real keepsake of the inauguration ceremony. I'm sure he assumed it would be taken care of, and available for him to look at, and keep and savor, later.

I guess the chick said she'd give it back if he asked for it. That website shows the actual clip of the interview where she admits she has it. They all think it's funny. Do you?

Chinese babies died...

2009-01-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

Did you know about all the chinese babies dying from milk poisoning this last year?

You know, there's a lot of criminal behavior in the world. Generally, I don't see it, and don't go looking for it. I only watch my local news for the weather report.

I used to be an avid news watcher, but then I listened to an Esther Hicks cd that spoke about how we make ourselves ill worrying over terrible news we can't do anything about. We can't help because it is already done, or somewhere else. And out of our circle of reach. It made sense.

I mean, I'm one of those folks who really would say (at a beauty pageant?), "I want to cure cancer, and have world peace."

Every time I see a St. Judes commercial, I want to cry for the people who need to take their babies there. And cry in gratefulness to the people who've dedicated their lives, or means, to help. The Ronald McDonald House is one place I donate regularly to (in the drive through lane at McDonalds, I drop change, etc.) I've known a lot of people who were given a place to sleep while their family member was in the hospital. Out of all the charities on this planet, it is the one I've seen giving more.

I know there are lots of great charities and help organizations. Locally, we have a council of churches that does a great service to our area, collecting everything from food to clothes. So, I'm not discounting those. I'm just saying that unfortunately, I've known too many families who were too broke to buy a motel room when their family member was in the hospital, and the RM House gave them a place to lay their heads, and wash, etc. just across the street from the hospital. I'm just grateful it was established to help people.

I feel the same way about the amazing Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. What a gift to the world that is. Ditto with the surgeon (Sami Kyoshmon), an Austrian, who put my youngest daughter back together after her horrific accident a couple years ago. You can read about that back in the October-December 2006 posts archived.

Please, take a moment and send up a thanks to God (or whoever you feel is responsible for directing these people to enter the field of medicine in areas that help little children.) I pray regularly that surgeons will have steady hands.

I have these little tremors (compliments of overexposure to too much bug spray.) I couldn't be a surgeon to save my own life.

But the real point of my post today is that I was appalled to read about the milk poisoning in China this last year. (I am SO last year.) Always a day late or a dollar short. You've probably heard all about it. But, in case you want to read it (nothing bloody or gory, no pics here):

http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090122/D95S72CO0.html

It's so sad. I can't even imagine the heartache those families are going through, knowing it was greed that caused their babies' deaths.

The justice is being done. The people responsible for putting melamine in milk are being put to death. Compensation is being paid.

However, I have to say...there would be no price high enough to pay me for the loss of a child...because someone was watering down milk, and adding something that would clog up kidneys (and kill babies) just to raise the protein content so it would pass inspection.

Melamine, you probably know, is what those plates we all ate off in the sixties and seventies were made of. I was thinking about ordering some of those kits where you draw and send it in, and they make you a plate from your art work--to surprise my kids for Easter or something. They're grown up but still like little things like that.

You can see what I'm talking about here: http://www.kidsmartliving.com/makkitbowcup.html

When I ran the preschool in Nevada, we used these. They are so easy, and it is such a pleasure to see the kids when they get their plates, and eat off of them later. Although, they are NOT microwave safe.

I don't know if I can look at another melamine product and not think of dying babies. It just breaks my heart. (Not that I can't look at those kind of plates.) My heart goes out to all those families.

And I thank God, once again, that I live in the United States of America where all our food products are tested so strenuously that, hopefully, this sort of thing would never happen.

We are so lucky. The story just made me want to hug my babies, even if they are all grown up. So, the challenge today is to give a kid a hug. Or do something like drop a buck in the Ronald McDonald House box, or some other charity.

Heck, go to a salvation army thrift store and buy something. The proceeds will go to help someone and you can get something in return.

*hugs* to all of you, my friends.
Now, I'm gonna get busy writing.

It was MURDER.

2009-01-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

So, I've come back to the top to write this note. Again, I've failed at being a concise blogger. You may need to go get your lunch, dessert, and an afternoon snack, and maybe a little wine before dinner to help you through this.

(Not that I'm saying my writing will lead you to drink...but it might.)

In the beginning, there was light.

One small one in the black abyss. It was attached to a miner's fiberglass hat. You know, like construction workers wear.

There was darkness all around the world...and the only thing I could see was sex appeal staring straight at me in the face illuminated by that damned miner's light...that blinded me.

Did I mention my husband was a gold miner when I met him?
No. Really!

That did not mean we were IN THE MONEY. In fact, because we got right to the business of having our five kids, we were repeatedly broke. I didn't even know what "being in the black" meant.

Which of course brings me to think of that old adage, once you try black you never go back. I wonder...is that true?

Is it true about money and sexual partners?

Not that it really matters. I seem to be ever doomed to be in the red, and nailed by an Italian to some crazy vow I made when I was nothing more than an innocent virgin. hehehe

Years into the marriage, my mother-in-law, when drunk, once skewered me with one of those looks of vehemence some Arkansas Razorback women are said to have in their gaze. With a long, pretty finger (That actually did some hand modeling back in the day), she mentioned that she knew I married her son for his gold.

Would it be amiss for me to pause here to mention her fingers are her best features?

Okay. It was terribly laughable. I didn't miss a beat. We were struggling with our bills, as always, and the trip to see his family was torture for me because every time they got drinking, his parents said something mean to me. I dreaded it more than I can explain.

I turned to him and said, "You have gold? We are long past time for you to whip it out, buddy."

He agreed with a grin.

I believe I said I might have to divorce him now that I knew he had gold hidden somewhere, since I could finally look to a possible rosy gold high money future.

In truth, he was the only one in his family who didn't get a gold nugget when he married. His dad gave his brother's wives each a gold nugget/necklace or something, too.

Needless to say, they don't like me much. And I was a good and dutiful little wife for years and years. There was no excuse for their snobbery. Except they didn't like me doing terrible things like going to church, reading the scriptures, etc.

There are several points to this story. One, you can't make some people happy. Two, no matter what you do, or how good you are, there will always be someone who looks down on you. And three, for heaven's sake, find out if the person you're marrying has a stash of cash somewhere, so you can use it to pay your bills!

My mom always said it was just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one. I dunno. Most of the wealthy men I know are assholes. I always liked the down to earth types. Farmers, cowboys, guys who scratched a living out of the dirt literally.

I think true love and sincere, hard to drag up out of the solar plexus "I Love You's" are worth so much more than financial wealth.

That said, I am NOT against becoming rich, or rolling in money padding my bed. YAY FOR MONEY, I say. SEND IT TO ME, OH WONDERFUL UNIVERSAL POWERS! I call the U.P. GOD, but you can call for money from wherever you want to.

As you know, lately, I've been hoping God uses the Publisher's Clearing HOuse's next big drawing to send me a little fortune. Whatever works for you, ya know?

I had a flashback to an episode of SNAPPED, the thirty minute show that recaps murders women have committed when they just snapped. (Who can blame them?) YAY for PMS as a defense!

??? No? Yes?

Anyhow, there was one woman who killed not one husband, but two, and would have gotten away with both, but after one of the deaths, she went to some place like Cabo with her lover/accomplice and he took a picture of her literally rolling in thousands and thousands of dollars cash on the bed, smiling her ass off. Well, okay, she apparently had smiled all her clothes off before the picture.

And I'm pretty sure some of it was totally dirty money because he didn't appear to have any clothes on when the video camera panned his thigh, or whatever.

Anyhow, the chick got away with two murders and the local police honestly thought she was a victim of two freaky, unconnected, deaths of husbands who were good guys and business owners in the community. Although, her step daughter kept insisting she was evil.

Somehow, the pictures of the bed party south of the border turned up. I believe it was the lover feeling like he might be next on the chick's list. So, the woman was tried for the second murder, convicted by the jury on the basis of the pictures which had date and time stamps. Apparently, they were taken within hours of her husband's death. They didn't think she showed enough remorse.

I totally agreed. I can't even imagine hurting someone purposefully, let alone committing cold blooded murder.

Although I totally remember watching Farrah Fawcett and that Burning Bed movie and thinking it was the right move and she should have done it a lot sooner. I also cheered or Lorena Bobbitt and was sad when her hubby's surgery to reconnet his parts actually gave him full function again. (DAMMIT)

What made me think of all this?

As I turned on my computer today, I saw a few links GOOGLE had highlighted. One that I thought you might be interested in was this: http://check-him-out.com/

No. Sorry. No pretty man pictures. Just a list of questions women should ask, or look into, when they meet a new guy. So, those of you on the dating scene might wanna scan the list. Those who have single friends or daughters might want to, to know what to ask about the latest boy toy in your circle.

It's actually a website that is trying to sell you an ebook. I'm not really promoting that. I just think they give one really important thing--a heads up to not necessarily trust the newbie man candy that slipped into your little arena.

Or, in the case of the women featured on SNAPPED, men (or lesbians) might find they've dodged a bullet if they do a little research before they let someone creepy into their life.

Sadly, they aren't all honorable gladiators willing to bow at the feet of a queen, to protect and honor and provide for her forever more. And all the women aren't as virtuous, lovely, and of good report like US.

As we all know, there are way too many skeevy types out there. Men (and women) who've cheated on their previous love interests. Men who've abused women physically or mentally, who may have criminal records and restraining orders in public records. Or vice versa. (Let this be an equal opportunity finger pointing post.)

We had a child molester lurking in our local writing groups. A friend of mine found him completely by accident on the internet, listed as a sex offender in our area. And when I say lurker, I mean it. The writing groups met at the local library. All too often, he was scamming the young girls.

Interesting enough, older men and women in our circles seemed to not think his crime was too bad. He was 39 and raped a 14 year old. I was horrified to hear some of them say that when they grew up, old men were allowed to sleep with teens, and some even had the nerve to imply the girl probably egged him on.

It's people like this that I want to protect my daughters, and all children from. It is NOT okay. The laws of the land are quite explicit in what is not acceptable. Under age children are not to be physically taken advantage of, even IF the adult perceives the child is interested in sexual exploitation.

Sorry. That's another one of my little soapboxes. If a girl/woman is attractive, and a man attacks her, she is NOT at fault, she IS the victim. It doesn't matter if she was wearing a bikini or Daisy Dukes or pasties and a g-string, dancing on a pole.

Men should be glad they are allowed to look without getting their eyes poked out. But it is NOT okay to touch. (Isn't that first rule of a strip club?) I'm almost sure they said that when MEN DOWN UNDER came to our town in Nevada to do the Full Monty dance at our local bar and grill.

But to be fair, this website can also prove good for men, too. All women are not honest. Some do a fair bit of abusing themselves. (I'm not talking about teasing men mercilessly by shaking her money maker when she walks or dances, or shimmying when she gets something cold spilled down her top.)

Some women have a trail of broken hearted men with empty bank accounts to show for their involvement in nefarious affairs.

Of course, we all know there are gold diggers of each gender out there. Honestly, I never thought to do a credit check on my guy, back when I was seventeen. But then, there wasn't the freedom network of info so readily available, and I was entirely naive.

Thank God I didn't get a bad one.

I was surprised to see the recommendation for seeing if the man had ever filed bankruptcy before, but it makes sense, whether you're seeing a man or a woman, because if you hook up for the long term and join names, you will take on their credit, or lack thereof, depending on the situation.

When my mom left my dad, they had a great credit rating. But her new husband had filed bankruptcy, and is a gambler and an alcoholic. She retained my father's last name so she could access the credit they'd built together, and so she wouldn't be dragged down into the lower rating her new hubby had.

On one hand, that was very smart. On the other, it seemed unfair that she could go on benefiting WITH HER NEW MAN while sporting my dad's last name and credit.

They built it together, and she was the one who actually mailed in the payments, she said, and it was perfectly legal to do so.

For us, the big issue was annoyance that she'd left our dad (cheated on him) and continued to use him to her own means. The annoyance rose further when my father married the hag from hell. I personally blame THAT on mom for leaving in the first place.

Okay, so I say that, but also agree that a woman (or anyone) shouldn't stay in a relationship where they are miserable. You don't have to live in a relationship like it's a prison sentence. There are too many people out there who will endeavor to make you happy, or that you can make happy.

We all know that some people refuse to be happy, no matter what you do for them.

Now, I say that, and wince. Nobody can make you happy. You have to learn to be happy within yourself. I find that terribly hard to do.

But I also know you can change everything for a person, trying to please them, and find you've compromised yourself, and they still aren't happy, they still want you to change again.

Why is it that people always want whatever they don't have?
Do you think people keep asking for their significant others to change just to see if you still want to try to please them?

This makes me think of a conversation I've had many a time with my husband. He doesn't care for short hair on women. Now, most of you know that a year or two ago, I had a terrible terrible perm. I had to cut my hair from waist length to my chin.

I cried for months. It's one thing to cut it when you've planned it. It's another thing to be forced into because it's breaking off in handfuls with every brush you slide through it.

In fairness to my husband, he was very kind when I was crying over it and kept saying it didn't look too bad.

But every time he complained before about a woman having a "dykey haircut" came back to me. No offense to anyone. I don't care what your bedroom habits and companionship add up to. Neither does he. It's just a term he uses. And we all know short hair is not necessarily a lesbian thing.

Sorry...I'm not always politically correct in my terminology. I still think of the Russians and Chinese and North Koreans as communists who will gang up on us if we're not careful.

We still tend to call all Asians Oriental in my family, too. I still also think of the Czech Republic and Slovakia as Czechozlavakia and have to remind myself that Prussia no longer exists, and is now Poland and Russia. Although, I don't even know when all that crap happened.

And yes, that would make the dreaded N word a part of my husband's vernacular, too. But let me say that he doesn't think everyone with dark skin is one. He happens to use that term blankly across the board to include all people who behave like ghetto scum, including white trash.

I say that, and must reiterate, I live in a single wide trailer, am quite obese, and am no one's version of a wealthy chick, or a snappy dresser. So, many may think I am Trailer Trash.

I think lots of people live in trailers, are overweight, and may have little cash but are NOT trailer trash. SO, please, take no offense. I can not, in good conscience, call the kettle black, or el negra, or any other shade of ebony since I am the proverbial pot.

Those who know my husband, know he's a redneck cowboy type, and old fashioned. On top of that, he's italian. So, what is that? A triple dose of "I know what I like and I have no problem telling people when they don't fall within the range of my appreciation?"

And we all know that there are many, many cute short haircuts and styles out there in the wide wide world. Many are very chic. A lot of hetero women wear their hair shortly cropped, and look good.

Hell, Sinead O'Conner, Demi Moore, and Britney Spears all looked great bald.

But my husband regularly asks me, "Why do women cut their hair short like that?" He truly subscribes to the biblical concept that a woman's hair is her glory...or something like that.

This, from a man who is bald on top. No offense to bald men, or him, either.

We are all entitled to our opinions, likes and dislikes. I, for one, like Vin Diesel and Yul Brenner, and the guy who plays Jean Luc Picard on Star Trek: Next Generation.

I think a man's sex appeal is all in the way he handles himself, not in whether or not he has hair up there.

But, honestly, hair on a man's back isn't very appealing. I like the new trend for men to be body waxed from head to toe, although it looks horribly painful, and I couldn't talk my Italian Stallion into doing it to save his life. (hehehe--I tried! Er, I keep hinting at it.) He usually gives me a flat, "Are you crazy?" But the answer to that is YES. So, sometimes he varies it with, "Okay. Right after we wax you from head to toe. Lay down, I'll get the wax and...we'll start at the pubic area."

Okay, so...NO.
Although, I hear laser removal in the peri area is a good way to clean up for the bikini season, especially for those who don't have a partner willing to help them get the strays and stragglers.

Hm. Those naked hairless chinese pussies come to mind now. Cats, I mean. The ones that are kinda ugly but hypoallergenic?

Here's something that I think is funny. My four daughters and I wanted to compare all the hair removal products, including waxing, Nair, Epilstop, etc. So, I went down and bought a fortune worth of that crap, and we applied it in sections to his face and neck. We figured his skin was much tougher than ours, and could take what appeared to be very painful to us.

Well, between us, we drew tears to his eyes. Waxing a man's beard is not a good plan. And it hurts like hell on a very hairy arm, or back even. Nair ain't no good for men skin neither, if the hair is rooted in old man italian skin. And the E stuff? Holy cow. That can even make a grown man cry.

Not that I'm admitting HE cried. hehehe
Or that I've ever taken joy in the moment. hahaha
(But I know my girls laugh over it every time they bring it up.)

But, a man's beard does seem more entrenched in the follicle field (or whatever you wanna call it.) So, it takes longer exposure, but that causes a rash, or razor burn effect which is horribly painful (so I hear.)

One of my daughters recently bought that kit they're advertising on tv, and is for sale at Walgreens. You know, the thing that you swipe over your leg to remove hair. It works, but it isn't painless. It works by yanking the hair out. My husband tried it on his arm, I think, and said it reminded him of his day under the wax and nair treatments...you know, before he shivered.

Just kidding. The man never shivers. He's a rock. He works in icy below freezing temperatures and sometimes doesn't wear a hat or gloves. He's insane.

But then, I've already established I'm crazy. See why we're so perfectly suited to each other?

And all that without a background check. But then, he had top clearance at the Nevada Test Site during the nuclear testing years. So, he'd already been checked out.

And, of course, I checked him over from head to toe many of times...you know, just to make sure he was all on the up and up, and all that.

But even with all that, I will admit, the man leaks. He's got this tiny hole in his radiator hose... but that's another topic for another day. ;) Have a good one!

Current and past contests & Pub. Clearing House

2009-01-13T08:22:00.000-08:00

Currently, I am collecting names (starting at January 2nd) for my next drawing which will be held on Valentine's Day. Again, I will give a gift certificate for the online place of your choice. (Makes it easy for me to send and you to spend.) So, all you have to do to be eligible is to post to this blog. For every comment you post, your name goes into the drawing. So, post away. The more you post, the better your chance of winning.

I've just sent Sue A. and Brenda Z. their gift certificates from the holiday drawings. I'm still waiting for Debby and Cynthya to email me with their full names and email addresses, and choice of card outlet (amazon, B&N, Paypal, one of my publishers?) so I can send their gift cards. Email to: jennifer248@centurytel.net I don't think any of my Carys@carysweldon.com mail is coming through.

My question or comment for today is...do you win very many prizes? Do you enter very many contests?

I entered the publisher's clearing house contest recently and for some silly reason, felt very confident in that...which seems beyond reason considering I've entered it off and on for my entire adult life and not won anything from them.

I received a big red envelope from them last week. Did you? Attached to the outside was another piece of paper that I had to detach and send back in with the vouchers and stuff, as usual. You know, all the items you COULD purchase if you want to, but don't have to to be entered in the contest.

What actually got my hopes up was the thing attached to the outside that had been hand printed with my name and the local tv stations, a florist in my area, and the name of a local hotel. There was a note saying to notify them all that there would definitely be a major prize winner in my area with my initials.

Have you ever seen one of those before?

I've seen the letters that come on the inside of the envelope that says YOU COULD BE THE WINNER if YOU SEND THE WINNING NUMBER IN...and there is obviously no guarantee that your winner IS the winning number. In fact, there was a letter like that inside my envelope.

I just have never received a hand written attachment saying to notify my local tv stations and closest florist and motel that there would be a major prize winner in my area.

It impressed me that they had hired someone to hand print those things personal to my area. I mean, it made it feel like there was much more hope in winning. Right?

Well, my daughter Casandra who lives in Mesquite, Nevada, said she got the same type of envelope with the hand written local stations, etc. So, that poked holes in my dreams.

Do you think they have a computerized printer that pulls those names from a database and prints them in a way that looks hand written, or do they hire people to actually hand write them? Or are we lucky types, living clear across the country from each other, who are actually in the finalist part of the drawing?

Are you giggling at how silly I am to hope? Did you send your PCH entry in? Did you get a similar deal?

I contacted one of the local tv stations via email on their website, and felt very silly. The drawing is Feb. 26th, 2009. I'll have to see if I can muster what it takes to contact the other businesses listed on that envelope. I have to wait until I'm in another silly mood, I think.

For 2009, I'm wishing and hoping for all my friends, family, and ME to receive all things positive, including positive cash flow. So, as silly as it is, I'm hoping my daughter, all of you, and I ARE winners of major prizes in the PCH.

Short of that, you have a shot at winning a gift certificate from MY drawings. Go ahead, laugh with me, or at me. Tell me what you think of drawings and other contests.

I had a friend back in Nevada who won major prizes all the time. She said she worked the law of averages. If it said send in a 3x5 card with your info, and there were no limit to entries, she literally would send in a thousand. NO KIDDING. Every week, she won something else...like a JEEP. She subscribed to all the contest newsletters and showed us her system for making the 3x5 cards, etc.

I had 5 little kids at the time and couldn't fathom taking the time to do it, although I admired her for persistence and effort. Now, I think about all the time I waste and have wasted over the years, and think...I could've been a contender! (Yeah, I sound like Rocky in my head. LOL)

Anyhow, good luck TO YOU.

Death of a dear friend...CJ Winters

2009-01-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for being a missing in action blogger. It seems like my desire not to have drama in my life never got transmitted to the energy pushers of the universe.

Let me ask for the four winners of my December holiday contests to email me again with their full name and the email address where they want their gift certificates sent, plus specify Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Paypal (Cash), or one of my publishers--your choice. That would be Brenda, Sue A., Cynthya, and Debbie as mentioned in my last blog posts. Email to: jennifer248@centurytel.net

Among other things, I'm having issues with my inbox. Apparently, it hangs up when it reaches over 5000 in one file (the new messages folder), and it's pulling up errors when I try to delete some, so I can't get to the older emails where I believe those contest responses might be. (Still waiting on one winner to respond.) Emailing me again with your preferences just saves me from fishing through pages and pages of emails.

In very heavy hearted news, I managed to open one ominous email from someone I've never met. It had a cryptic feel, and said, "Just call me, I have bad news." Or something of that nature. Normally, people don't call numbers attached to emails like that. I know I don't. But this one, I did.

I'm wondering if my psychic side had been protecting me from the news, keeping me from going into my inbox. My very dear friend, CJ Winters, passed away. I'm feeling bad that I didn't get through my inbox earlier, or that I didn't hear the news in time to go to Connie's funeral, and to be supportive to her husband and children.

Here's the obituary:

Constance Joyce Severson | d. January 3, 2009
Constance Joyce Severson, 76, of Blue Springs, Missouri passed away on January 3, 2009 at The Villages at Jackson Creek. Visitation will be held from 1-2 pm on Thursday, January 8, 2009 at Meyers Funeral Chapel with memorial services to commence at 2:00 pm. In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorial contributions to the American Cancer Society.

Connie was born on September 9, 1932 in Marshall County, Iowa to Basil and Gladys (Kellog) Winders, who preceded her in death. She was united in marriage to Wayne L. Severson on September 13, 1958, and together they enjoyed 50 years of marriage. Connie was employed by Macy’s as a Copywriter for many years, and was a published writer many times over. Connie was a long-time member of the AOA. She was a very accomplished person and will be truly missed.

Connie is survived by her:
Husband: Wayne Severson of the home
Daughter: Dana Severson of Blue Springs, MO
Sisters: Mildren Oberlander of Fullerton, CA
Jean Hanus of Marshalltown, IA

Some of you may have purchased the anthology Deadknots with short paranormal mystery stories by CJ Winters and Jennifer DiCamillo...? I believe that's the last thing Connie had published. I am very honored to have my stories included in an anthology with such a well established, solid mystery writer as Connie.

She sent me some stories a month or so ago, hoping to do another anthology with me. I haven't even had a chance to read through them, what with the holidays and all.

Connie wrote mysteries of all types, and has many books published through Hard Shell Word Factory. You might enjoy picking up some of her works. She was a very good writer, and won lots of awards, so you can rest assured the reading will be entertaining. (Please do not misconstrue this as a crude attempt for me to boost the sales of Deadknots. I would never want to profit over the loss of a friend.)

Connie was very generous. She invited me to do the anthology with her, which opened the door of Hard Shell Word Factory to me. It is hard to get in a publishing house door. But once in, they'll take your submissions even if the submissions are closed to the rest of the world. So, that was a great favor to me. She also pointed me to other publishing opportunities. I cannot adequately express my appreciation for her help.

On a personal note:

One of the things I found most wonderful about Connie is her honesty. I could always count on her for a straight take. I value that a lot.

We often laughed over the fact that we gave it to each other hard and straight. Now, I always joked that it was expected from me--what with my erotic writing alter ego. But she, as a mystery writer, would have been expected to be secretive, convoluted, but she wasn't.

She was also into many things I find fascinating but am much less educated on: astrology, in particular. She did my astrology chart but we haven't had time to get together for her to expain it to me, although she went ahead and mailed it...I have to wonder if that was an intuitive move to make sure I received it.

Anyhow, I'm feeling like a dog paddler treading water. I always wonder why some people pass over and others stay behind. Connie's husband Wayne has had a lot of health problems, including brain surgery this last year. Her daughter, Dana, has had a kidney transplant and been struggling with rejection. Connie seemed very healthy for her age. Of the three, (despite her age), Connie would have been the last I expected to go. I understand she had a stroke.

In any case, I just needed to put a tribute here to my good friend. I loved the conversations I had with her. I've pondered the concepts she expanded for me. I hope that I can be as generous as Connie always was.

Crazy in India?

2009-01-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

NOTE ABOUT CURRENT CONTEST:
Valentine's Day drawing of blog posters from now to Feb. 14th--so, if you read this, make a comment. I don't care if it's intelligent or jibber jabber. Just let me know you tuned in. Every comment from here to there will get your name entered in the drawing again. So, your chances increase with every post you make!
***

I'm surfing ebay, as always, between writing, checking email (the neverending nightmare these days) and whatever else--watching killing on my xbox360.

I found some "Nature Diamond Rings"...nature meaning mined as opposed to lab created. Of course, for those who are fluent in English, mined, genuine, and real, or certified or appraised will pull up SOME diamonds.

Nowadays, it's hard to tell them apart, even with a loop. Not that I go that far, personally. But, I have a good eye in person, to see the inclusions, etc.

I like to know I'm buying real or lab created. I bought some briolite diamond jewelry for my 4 daughters for Christmas. They came with appraisal certificates of authenticity. I couldn't find any of the institutes where the certificates were supposedly issued from, so that's probably all a hoax, but hell, it helps for insurance purposes.

Supposedly, they are so "real" that even jewelers have trouble telling them from the real thing, so they have to be set in silver instead of white gold. But what do I know? They look better than all the other simulated diamonds I've seen.

Anyhow, as I was surfing, and realized a lot of the diamonds from China are listed as Nature or Noblest. So, tip to ya if you're looking for a nice ring at a cheap price. I saw two rings, identical. Emailed the sellers. One says it is lab created, and plated gold. The other swears his is all solid and real mined. I guess it doesn't matter. My girls don't care. I prefer the real thing myself. Not into cocktail rings unless the stones are real.

I know everyone who has a choice would probably go for the real diamond. But, honestly, would you wear a lab created stone and be proud of it? Would you lie and say it is real? I ask because I'm thinking of giving away some diamond (and maybe emerald, ruby, garnet, sapphire, etc) rings this year, but they'll be bought on ebay and so...sketchy in origin and actual value. Would you like to win one of those?

A lady at my church said she had a guy offer her to buy her a diamond engagement ring for Christmas and she passed in favor of something else she could be sure wasn't bought in a bloody mine. Do you pay attention to that sort of thing? I had to stop and go look to see WHERE the bad mines are. I mean DiCaprio's film BLOOD DIAMOND got my attention. But damn, I'm a Monroe fan. I believe, in lieu of good friends, she and Ava Gabor are right, Diamonds are good friends.

I know a lot of girls have comforted themselves by staring at, or hocking, rings that cheesey assed cheatin' boyfriends/hubbies have sprung for. Wasn't that what Kobe's girl did with that rock the size of Texas?

Personally, I'd rather have a faithful man. But what the hell. We get by.

Anyhow, trying to keep these posts shorter than the books and diatribes of last year. So, I'll wrap this up. Bottom line on the diamond buying...if ebay doesn't babysit me with a USD conversion chart, I'm in trouble. How many USD is 16,000 RS? Those are rupies, right? So, probably around $322 USD.

While looking that up, I came across a crazy intense blog that I thought you might enjoy checking out. This guy from Australia is doing the hostel and motor bike across India thing. He's very good at imagery, so you can get a real feel for what he's seeing...and smelling.

Check it out here: http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/04-11/indian-dreaming-india.html
Cahona cheers for the man who is taking on India all by his lonesome. While the adventure SOUNDS cool on some levels, I gotta admit, I'm a little girl about stuff like that. I like my big Italian squinting down anybody that THINKS they're gonna take advantage of me.

For the same reason, I don't go through Texas alone. That place is like a country unto itself. (But I digress. I'll tell ya about Texas another day.) Adventures R US.

So, back to the India deal. Would you cough up a rupee for someone saying hello to you in a pleasant way? Would you do it just so the guy wouldn't rob you?

I dunno how you'd be able to afford to do that. I mean, that could add up fast, even if rupees are like only a percentage of a penny.

I figure it's like war. I do NOT know how a soldier can carry enough bullets. I do not know how a tank can carry enough bullets or mortars or whatever it uses in those big guns.

As fat as I am, I think I'd say...nah, keep the food, I'll pack more ammo where that would have gone.

It would be nice if the world were at peace, but it isn't. But I say, let's all send up a prayer (or meditation, or whatever YOU do) for world peace...we'll do one for curing cancer on another day. K?

***
Note to holiday contest winners: Brenda, Sue A., Debby, Cynthya...I'll send the GC's when all of you have told me in email where you want yours from. It's the only way I can keep straight on who I've sent them to. I swear, I'll do it asap. Waiting gives you the great joy of anticipation, right?
***
Damn, this isn't a very short post.
Tomorrow, I'll try again to be less wordy. It's a hard habit to break for a writer, I guess. Sorry!

MANSWERS reports on Oral Sex

2009-01-02T20:48:00.000-08:00

80% of Austrian women are willing to go down on men.
24% of women in Brazil will.

What do you think the American women percentage is? I thought it would be a lot higher than 17%, but I guess not.

So, either their stats are off, or all the men we know in America are exaggerating the number of women who enjoy and will do oral sex. And if you just wanna say no, you can toss these stats from the Manswer show at them.

I dunno how much you can trust this show...they said if your friend gets drunk and passes out/choked on vomit, or drowns/chokes on water...if you don't want to do mouth to mouth, for whatever reason (like that could be nasty?!?)...they say you can fart someone back to life.

No kidding.

I also learned how to make a stun gun/taser from a disposable camera and a couple paper clicks. I didn't know the show was so informative. I'm afraid you'll be hearing more about it in the future.

I thought it was funny. You should check it out.

Shorter posts (from me) resolution and CONTEST WINNERS!

2009-01-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year. I've already messed up on the resolution to post on my blog every day. Sigh.

Another, more important resolution is to make shorter posts. I went over the posts I made this last month and went "HOLY COW! I gotta do the blog diet thing." You know, post more, but less at a time.

I've been watching E's countdown on the 100 greatest celebrity slim downs, so I've got diet on my mind. I don't really understand how they decide which one ranks higher. Makes no sense to me.

Of course, I've resolved yet again to get thinner and in better shape...and messed that up too. Ate some Reese's peanut butter cups. However, I learned from a few of the slim downs that many people switch to peanut butter as a high protein snack, so maybe I'm not really messing up. What do you think?

I saw this site and thought you might like the tips, and especially the "how many calories should you eat for your height and weight calculator."

http://www.nowloss.com/best-way-to-lose-weight-fast.htm
Hope it helps ya!

CONTEST WINNERS:

I was surprised, actually, that Brenda and Sue A. didn't win another drawing. Good news to Debby (posted Dec. 9) and Cynthya (posted Dec. 18th) for winning in my New Year's contest/drawings for gift certificates. Please select an online vendor like one of my publishers, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Ebay, etc...a place that's easy for me to purchase and send it to you via e-certificate, therefore easy for you to use online, as well. Congratulations! Email me at jennifer248@centurytel.net. Put CONTEST WINNER in the subject line. Thanks!

Brenda and Sue, I'll be sending the GC's via email soon. I forgot to mention ebay/paypal which is a cash deposit. If you prefer that over Amazon, please verify with me. I'm hoping to take care of all these between now and the next time I post on this blog.

Happy New Year's Eve! Contest!

2008-12-31T10:52:00.001-08:00

It's nearly 1 p.m. here in the Ozarks. I have no idea what I'm gonna do for the ticking down of the year tonight. I'm afraid I'm remarkably predictable on the "falling asleep early" thing.

My husband and I talked at his break and he asked me what I had planned for tonight. I let out one of those gasping laughs. I mean, really...I'd like to have something whiz-bang up my sleeve, but invariably, it will be the one night I fall asleep early without a sleeping pill. I have no control over that...unless I'm out listening to a live band or something.

But the night life in our area, uh, kinda sucks. We live next to Branson. It's a town famed for its g-rated entertainment. Wayne whatshisface (Newton) came from Vegas, started a show, and they sent him packing. Told him to cover his show girls or take it back to the strip...which he did pretty quickly.

So, what's offered here? We got us a Baldknobbers show. It's out by 10. There's a band called Big Smith, not too bad, if you like jazz and horns. (I do. I like everything but mariachi and screaming guitars.)

I really want the warped tour to do a show here on New Years. I could stay up for that.

What sort of music do you like best? (Remember, responding by posting just about anything on this blog gets you entered into the next drawing or two.)

For years, I would fall asleep listening to Dick Clark's countdown at Time Square, and wake up to my husband's sweet lips kissing me, like Prince Charming leaning over Sleeping Beauty. It was very romantic, and dreamy (from my viewpoint, anyway.)

I remember when I was a little girl, my mom went to bed early and my dad stayed up with us older kids. He taught us the silliest thing ever, I think. He convinced us that it was an old American tradition to take a spoon and beat a metal pan out the door, so others in your neighborhood knew you were ringing in the new year.

Year after year, my older brother and I carried on this stupid tradition. One year, right before midnight, we were ready and set with pans and spoons in hand and I said, "You ever think about the fact that Dad was raised on a farm and never had neighbors close enough to hear him beating on pans?"

He chuckled and said, "Yeah. And notice no one EVER beats on pans besides us?"

We felt pretty ridiculous, knowing we'd been had. Not once or twice, but several years in a row. It was just about that time that Dick Clark (always Dick Clark!) did the countdown and, while we were standing there staring at each other over the whole thing, lo and behold, some other poor sucker beat a pot with a spoon as hard as they could, yelling "Happy New Year!" as we had done for the last few years.

With glee and giggling, we started hitting our pans with gusto, yelling louder than ever before.

Dad, who was getting too old to stay up, I guess, was sent to hush us up. By mom, obviously.

He came out of the bedroom and said, "I thought you kids would have figured out my joke by now."

But the funniest thing was his expression when we stopped beating the pans and he could hear our neighbor really "ringing it up."

We all laughed.

The next school day, I mentioned to my brother that I'd told people all over school that it was a HOOSIER tradition and that we were probably the only ones still doing it. Just us and one other person in our whole neighborhood had true hoosier spirit. (I was born and raised in Indiana.)

The next year, I swear, there were a lot more than two or three of us ringing in the new year poor boy style.

Now, I have carried the tradition on with my kids but they came to a point where they, too, realized I was putting them on. And that it was a bad joke straight from their silly grandpa. He's a total "Inspector Clusoe type of humor" guy.

His idea of a joke is..."You hear about the serial killer? They caught him." (pause) "He was easy to recognize. Had a Cheerios box on his head and a spoon in his hand."

Yeah. That's what I grew up with.
So, when my daughter Cheyenne told me the joke, "What's brown and sticky?"
The answer being "A stick. DUH."
I laughed and laughed.
I was warped by my dad. What can I say?

Anyhow, I think I'm thinking about him because his birthday's coming up, January 2nd. And he actually called me for Christmas to tell me he loved me. And before he hung up, he mentioned that he figured he had to get going so he could call the rest of the kids. Which means he called me first.

It's silly to let that cheer me up, and make me smiley, but hey...we get what we can out of whatever is offered. Right?

Okay, so back to the other story. My dad taught me the pan beating thing. Some things you're taught never seem to slip out of your memory. I'll probably be senile and alzheimered out one day, but remember I should be beating on a pan with a spoon in the middle of the night...for some reason that will elude me completely.

Anyhow, as you know, I have four girls. They set me straight one year when I tried to get them to sit like roosting hens in a neat little row, ready by the door with their pots and spoons.

"Uh uh," the oldest (smart aleckiest one) said. "The real tradition is kissing someone when it turns midnight. Dad does it all the time. This pot and spoon business is just your way to keep us from going out on New Year's or watching the action...which we think is almost creepy when you two do it, by the way."

I had my defense.

"It's a scary night to be out. Crazy drunks are everywhere. You're lucky this is all we do."

I still believe it's better to beat a pot and pan and look silly out your back door than be out in the melee.

I once spent New Year's Eve on Fremont Street in Las Vegas before they put the Fremont Experience overhead light deal up. I remember standing under the canopy of the Gold Nugget with the rest of the crowd surging forward to watch fireworks overhead.

Some dumb nut brainless wonder threw his damned beer bottle over us. Just slung the thing. It flew in slow motion, spewing shook up beer in a shower, and I swear...it came down with a clunk and a bunch of us squealing versions of "Look out!"

A woman was hit in the head. Next, blood spewed everywhere. Nothing bleeds like a head wound, except a main artery.

We decided to get out of the crowd and head to our car. My husband always chooses to beat the crowd to the cars or sit them out and be the last one to leave the parking lot. On this night, he was hiking fast. Traffic had been blocked off for several city blocks and we went hot footing it to the car--in time to see a couple guys taking swings at each other. Drunken, loud mouth taunting stuff...it was silly foolish. Swaggering like John Waynes, throwing out "I'm gonna kill yous," before it was a felony anger management charge.

Cops were circling but not interfering, since they had those scary beer bottles in hand. New Year's in Vegas used to allow booze carrying down the street WITHOUT a bag. I dunno what you can get away with there now. Anybody know?

Now, I'm not saying people shouldn't enjoy a New Year's night out, or have a bit of bubbly (or another favorite beverage) to help the evening seem a little rosier. BUT, I say watch out for yourself. Be responsible. Get a designated driver, if you're under the influence and need to get from one point to another. Call a taxi. Call a church. Pull out your cell and dial a non drinker. A lot of places do the "free ride home" thing for the inebriated on holidays like this.

Just don't put your own life, or someone else's in danger. I don't have enough fans, friends, family, or flyby readers to lose one of you for something like dui.

Did I mention that 90% of all fatalities in Missouri come from people crossing the center line? THIS is not the night for people in Missouri to press their luck.

And no. I haven't taken up preaching, what with the political rants of this last week and this DUI discussion, I'm sure you're wondering. I'll get over all of it when the holidays pass. Seriously, I only handle a couple of options during the holidays--get depressed and think about alternatives to living, or bother the people I care about over issues they don't really want to hear me talk on. Sorry. It's this or talking about depression, shelters for abused women, separation, divorce, and the damned four letter word we all hate-- DIET.

I'm more interested in you being around to enjoy the gift certificate I'm going to pull this evening, or the one I'm going to draw tomorrow.

Just chip in a HI, or a "Hey, what's up?" Or a real comment to something I've rambled about here. Anything will get you into the drawing. Feel free to email me with your choice of where you'd like your gift certificate to be from. Must be something that is online and easy for me to send you an e-gift certificate, so you can order from the convenience of your home. I'm not making anybody go out for this win!

And one last question, if you had to pick the perfect song besides Auld Lang Syne to ring the New Year in with, what would it be? And if you were gonna be kissing somebody, who would it be?

I'm going traditional. I'd pick my husband, Tony, and play our song (which he picked after years of me saying, "Can't you think of one song that is perfect for us?)...which is Alison Krauss's When You Say Nothing At All.

Post on this blog and WIN a gift certificate! Contest winners announced

2008-12-29T08:10:00.000-08:00

I pulled a name on Christmas Eve, as I promised. Sue A. won that. I pulled a second name on Christmas Day, and Brenda won that. So, girls, tell me where you'd like your gift certificate. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, at one of my publisher houses? Any place I can purchase online, so you can be sent an e-gift certificate. That makes the giving and using easier for all of us.

I probably won't send them until after I pull the New Year's Eve and New Year's Day names, too.

So, anyone who wants to be in THOSE drawings, please make a comment on this blog between now and the end of New Year's Day. I will be doing another drawing on February 14th (Valentine's Day!!!)

I see from the lack of responses that politics don't really stir the readers into commenting a lot. Thanks to those who did, though.

NEW QUESTION:
What's your favorite tv show and why?

I really enjoy NCIS. I've always been a Mark Harmon fan.

I also love Chuck.

I hate it when the seasons end.

One thing that never seems to end are the wedding shows. Bridezilla enthralls me for some ugly reason. I just can't imagine people putting up with so much crap. I mean, some of them, I can see why the brides are hard to deal with. But most of the time, I think...how on earth can a woman get away with treating people like they are all peons?

I think we should show respect to all individuals, even if we think they are doing some job we would never personally want to do.

Every time I go to a gas station at 5 a.m., I walk out and send up a prayer of thanks for the person who works behind the counter when most of us don't even want to be out of bed. There are so many people who do jobs that are hard, or that some would consider demeaning, that just need to be appreciated more.

Think about the janitor at a hospital or school. Any janitor. I hate to clean the toilet and bathroom at my own house, let alone after a never ending stream of people. I am continually horrified by the things people do in public bathrooms.

Nothing ticks me off more than walking into a stall and finding out that somebody peed on the toilet seat and didn't have the decency to wipe it off. I mean, geez, you don't want to sit on it, obviously---but making it even worse for the next person? I send up curses on the women who do that. How hard is it to glance at the seat and wipe off something you've put on it?

Or FLUSH?

Or, for men, to put the seat down? Fall in a toilet with the seat up ONCE in the middle of the night and you'll get anal about it.

The word anal brings me to a billboard (hoax picture probably) that I recently saw. It was an ad for KY jelly that said "We can't think of another use for it either." I saw it days ago and I'm still grinning when I think about it.

SECOND QUESTION:
What uses can you think of for KY jelly? ANYTHING besides sexual lubrication?

(Ranting!) Someone please shoot the dick who did this...

2008-12-18T06:46:00.000-08:00

I swear, there is serious business afoot, and there are sexual innuendoes, and you need to hear them all! (And I'm not talking bad about our president elect or any other politician specifically. So, have no fears in that regard. You can venture forth. I've even got some pro-Obama economic plan links below.)

But that doesn't mean I won't be treading in waters you don't want to examine. Most of us try to ignore the aggravation of thinking about bills and loan companies and the like during our Christmas shopping season. We pretend they don't exist, at least for a few weeks, and figure we'll deal with it when the bills come in next month.

And then we groan with "Oh, joy. What a helluva way to start the new year. DAMN. What was I thinking?!?!"

Because, if hindsight were foresight, we'd know that buying those extra things for our loved ones didn't really make them seem all the more loving and grateful to you.

Or maybe you live in a world where people actually seem to appreciate all you do, and I'm just the one feeling depressed and unappreciated.

But I'm not blogging today to cry about that. I took my anxiety and depression pills, and a muscle relaxer. I'm breathing...in, out, in, out.

The television's on. Oh, Gawd. They want me to get up off my couch and go down to their store, but there's nothing advertised that seems like a great deal.

But they still insist we shop til you drop, the holiday season is in full swing. Or so the advertisements hope to entice us...while the news gives us mixed reports about shopping being up or down, or up AND down. And how we need to "not live in fear" and just enjoy the season while it's all upon us.

However, if they ARE down, I wouldn't be surprised. Are you seeing incredible deals? I'm not.

I'm not impressed with the sales this year at all. I'm not seeing enough of a mark down. Twenty percent is barely noticeable. It makes the $53 set of shampoo and conditioner (that I would never buy for myself) barely discounted, and still over $40 bucks.

I slide through the clearance sections looking for things that are a decent price. Returning again and again, hoping something new has been put on the racks and shelves.

And, I think, I get angrier every year when I get up earlier and earlier the day after Thanksgiving to go stand in line and find I am five people to far back in the row to get the special deal because they didn't have that many of the precious items in stock.

One time, I went to Bass Pro to buy a rifle. It was a great sale. I was excited because I was actually only second in line when the doors opened. But guess what? They only had one and weren't giving out rain checks.

That particular phallix symbol went to the man who sprinted faster than me to the gun department. Like he needed another.

It's this sort of thing that makes people go "postal." They put a mandate a few years back. Stores are supposed to have at least five of their big lead sales items. Before, they could get away with only one.

But I've talked to store managers. They just "SAY" they have more, and that you missed it. But the peons, the people who really ake up America's working mass, that stock the actual shelves, that find the things you can't find on your own, they will tell the truth, that they only saw one in the back. Or, if five came in, they actually let store employees snag the purchase tags of all but one.

Really, if you work a store, shouldn't you get the best deals? And an employee discount on top of that?

If the masses of America rise up and start shooting the people in charge, the movers and shakers will have no one but themselves to blame. I ask you, who was responsible for the deaths and injuries when the NY Walmart store customers trampled someone to death? The people being pushed by the crowd behind? The people in front who didn't run faster? The guy for being in the way? Or the management that didn't have enough of those special items to assure everyone they would get one, so no one felt a need to mob, and trample? All of the above?

We, the American people, are being screwed again. I feel like it's literally gang rape after gang rape. Not enough of us are complaining in public places.

I know, no one likes a whiner. But geez, the squeaky wheel is the one that gets the grease.

And this time, we're taking it in the ass. (Please forgive the crudeness of this analogy.) The problem is, we're not all gay men with a prostate to be massaged from the inside out, therefore, most of us are not going to enjoy this latest back door rape.

Oh yes, that IS one of the reasons anal sex appeals to men. Why so many bend over. And the other end of the stick (hehehe) is that the guy on top gets to hold the other man down while he fucks him over.

Wow.
The answer is yes, I DID get up on the wrong side of the bed. I am cranky about something. But it isn't about gay men. God love them. They, at least, are sensitive to a woman's feelings. And they understand why a woman wants to cry at "the drop of a hat." (Even when we, ourselves, aren't sure why we're crying.)

Men in general, maybe, are the butt end of this tirade. I'm sure the big world decisions that bother me regularly have everything to do with decisions men make that cause my little world to hit bumps in its rotation.

But maybe I'm blaming men wrongly. Tell me, do you know of any women who own the big financial institutions and credit companies of this world?

Yesterday, in my mail, I received a tri-folded little flyer from the company that holds my one and only credit card. It looked like the flyer that comes with every credit card or checking account bill. You know, the one that states the terms of the card in very small print and never looks like it's any different from the last ten or twenty you actually glanced at...?

Only on second glance did I see it had the terms of "How we're going to screw you royally, and just in time for the New Year and Valentine's Day!"

It was incredibly hard to swallow, I swear!
And I know I never got down on my knees and begged for THIS to be shoved down my throat.

I never said, "Oooh, do this to me one more time." I hear the Captain and Tennille singing. ( http://www.links2love.com/love_lyrics_207.htm )

I'm angry over the stupid changes made to a Circuit City card I got about 25 years ago. An inane little card that I don't even have to flash when I go in the store. I just say my name, or my social security number, and they pull it up on the screen and add my latest purchases to it. How could something so simple, so OLD, make me feel like a "nigger at a hanging"...?

No offense to anyone (except the people who made the flyer I received.) But perhaps the offensive term will wake the world up, and make you realize how bad we should all be sweating, and fearing, what is going on now.

I knew that variable rates were going to become a nightmare when I first saw them. It is part of the problem we are now facing as a nation. They talk us into a low rate that is supposed to only be able to go up once every six months, and they reassure us that it can't go up too much, and we will be eased along the path to a higher rate. But loan officers assure us that there are no current plans to raise it.

Which, of course, was not true when the housing market and lenders jumped the interest rates. Some people ended up paying twice their original house payment, and the rising rates only took 6 months to a year.

But back to my analogy...
Just like days of old, when people of certain race, skin tone, or religious affiliations, were rounded up and hung, or shot, or massacred or enslaved, without being allowed to defend themselves...you know, like the Mormons, or the slaves, or even the Puritans that escaped England, or the folks they victimized once they got over here.

Yeah, I'm effectively referring to every saint, sinner, and indian that ever walked this great continent. We are all being oppressed in one way or another. We know "they're gunning for us." But we're not exactly sure who it is that IS coming for us.

They are the nameless faces hidden in big boardrooms. They are the ones who make the decisions that rule our lives financially.

We can feel them coming, stealing our air, and our room to run, cornering us on reservations. Locking us in the bedroom. Chaining us in the back yard, like junk yard dogs.

(Are you with me? Or are all the rants over your head?)

Have you ever really thought about WHO makes you do the things you do? Is it your spouse? Do you walk on eggshells to keep them happy?

Or your kids? Are you afraid they'll stop talking to you, or withhold your grandkids from you?

Or your doctor? Are you afraid, if you say the wrong thing, he'll stop giving you the pain medicine you really, really need just to get through the day?

Or your parents? Doesn't matter how old you get, you struggle with trying to please them. Or ignore them.

If it's not your own parents controlling your decision making processes, or your spouse, or your kids, or the church you attend, it is definitely the govt that rules us all.

They pinch off a bleed in your femoral artery and turn around and amputate your toe, and let the blood flow from the less noticeable spot. Rivers of blood run with the injustices being put upon us. Financially, we cannot take much more.

Read my lips. NO NEW TAXES.
And let's repeal a few we already have in place.

When the autoworkers sat down to negotiate with the big car makers, they screamed that the real problem was the high taxes on gasoline the govt charges. The manufacturers wanted the workers to take cuts in wages.

But it't the big bastards and their exorbitantly high salaries that took advantage of the income, and marked up car prices. I heard one guy said he'd take only a dollar a year until some things were better under control. I ask, "What was the raping salary he took prior, so that he has enough in the bank that he can get by on only a dollar a year?"

I agree with the autoworkers, though. Some of the problem IS the high taxes. We pay almost forty cents a gallon in taxes.

And look at the price of gas right now. It, obviously, was inflated by more than twice as much in the last couple years. What sort of bullshit is that?

The same b.s. that allows lawmakers to not have to pay taxes, and serve only one term in office to earn a $60k or better retirement plan from that year forward?

We will eventually have to revolt. We are frogs put in cold water, but the water temperature is rising. We are cooking and not smart enough to jump out of the pot.

Taxation and finance charges of one kind or another, and persecution (religious or otherwise) are the reasons people have used since the beginning of time to overthrow their govt. Not that I'm trying to incite a riot. I believe that's already begun. But maybe I'm saying, think about what's coming, and be "man enough" to step up and join the rebels when the time comes.

Did you know this?...for the first time in the history of America, there IS a militia in every state in our union that is not run by the govt, that is a group of rebel soldiers (if you will allow me to call them that). They began organizing during the Clinton's first administration, and took up serious arms when he sold the piggy back missiles to China, and the states that were behind (with no organized militia) stepped up when he brought United Nations forces onto U.S. soil for the first time.

That was scary. It should strike fear into the hearts of all of us. Peace keeping troops are brought in from elsewhere to control the masses, because your own soldiers are less likely to shoot to kill if the need arises.

But I digress. I ramble. I run off on tangents. Let me, like the marauders in the woods, and on Capitol Hill, circle back through the trees so I can point out the yellow bellied backs of the people who are shivving us in the gut while serving us happy pills and champagne.

You were expecting a new change with the new administration? We're getting it. But it ain't gonna be what you were hoping for. It's more financial skimming for the fat jacks, and us little jills and hillbillies are gonna get, like depression families, thinner and thinner.

Remember my initial rave?...the flyer in my credit card bill? Sorry, but this particular rave doesn't come with E, the ecstasy drug that is so popular in dancing halls across America.

We can't even pretend to be blind, or passed out, for this date rape. We didn't even get a free dinner before it started...unless you went to your local Victory Mission or Salvation Army kitchen for Thanksgiving.

Surprised to find no bill in with the little do-dad flyer in an enveloped I recognized from my usual credit card bill, I actually perused the damn thing and was shocked to find that my rate was going up from an already high 22.9 to 26.9 in February, and I have until then to write a letter saying I am no longer using this card and thereby cutting it up or write the letter to say I am accepting the terms. If I am lazy and don't write the letter, the fees are going up on all future purchases.

THEY do this all the time. In tiny print, they state they are changing the rules and we have to do something if we want to stop it. Whatever happened to "this is what I agreed to and signed up for when I signed for my account and so this must be honored forever?" When, exactly, did the financial institutions get cleared to "change rates or terms with their whims"...?

Picture me staring blankly at the damn thing, muttering "What the hell?"

I mean, in a time when we're facing recession and a third of the American public are out of work and more are expected to lose their jobs (never mind the fact that my only job is writing fantasies!)...they are raising the rates even more? It seems inconceivable.

I feel like the poor young naive girl who got raped on her first date, and again and again every time she finally gave in and consented to go somewhere else with a boy.

Every damn single time I let one hold my hand. Go read this: http://www.creditwritedowns.com/2008/12/capital-one-buys-chevy-chase-bank-another-bailout-freebie.html

It talks about the bailouts and buyouts.

That card is owned by Chase, one of the many companies that's been on the list for handouts from our government. One that was going to go under, or needed to be bought out. I just gotta ask...wasn't the baleout supposed to keep the small folk from being cheated and skewered financially even further?

I got online this morning and the first thing I saw was the headline about interest rates being adjusted and how the changes in financial interests were supposed to be a help to us. See the article here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20081218/D9555QV00.html

It does explain what's going on. My point in talking about it is to say "HEADS UP, read that fine print that comes with any of your financial institution or credit card bills." The terms are changing. Even the institutions that were on solid ground are taking advantage of the new regulations--and us!

Here's a sad but true story:

Years ago, my husband and I opened five accounts with Bank of America, one for each of our children. When we signed up for our checking and savings accounts, and those kids' accounts, it was all free forever. Even the checks were supposed to be free forever. That was the first perk they got rid of.

Back then, I didn't read fine print. I assumed that whatever rules you signed up under were "grandfathered in to protect you."

But no, not so. After we began to pay for our checks, we were told that we should be able to understand that BoA realized the free checks forever hadn't been a great idea and they weren't making enough money, so they had to change that. The argument that "But this is what we agreed to when we signed up for this account" held no water, because it was one voice complaining at a time.

I'm a firm believer that united we stand, divided we fall. God bless Norma Rae, Erin Brokovich, and others like them who fought long enough and hard enough and loud enough to gain the attention of the world and see the changes for the good put into place for all who would walk in their footsteps.

Honestly, I need Jesus to carry me here. I'm weak. I'm wandering like Moses and the tribes of Israel, trying to see my way out of the mess I've gotten into. And I didn't even leave my house!

You gotta ask, "Where is God in all this?"
Our country's financial ruin is surely the work of the devil. Isn't it?
Or his minions, which, at this point, are wearing suits and look way too much like our elected representatives to the house and congress. Democrats and Republicans alike.

So, BoA screwed me out of free checks (you're thinking). So what?
The what part is...when a thief is robbing you, he's never happy to take "just your watch." He wants your wallet, your wife's jewelry, and your daughter's virginity, too.

Our savings account was the second place we noticed the BoA change in account status and fees. Some savings accounts have minimum balance requirements. We moved our money to BoA because they didn't, and kids under 18 were supposed to not incur a single account charge. We were poor folks with lots of kids. WE BELIEVED THE BILLBOARDS AND COMMERCIALS AND THE HANGING POSTER OUTSIDE THE BANK.

But BoA changed that little tidbit of account handling and unbeknownst to us (because I hadn't read the fine print in the flyer on the monthly statements), we suddenly found ourselves with BoA saying our savings account was in the negative and we owed them. I believe, at the time, they had suddenly started taking money for every withdrawal.

Now, you might be wondering, "Were you using an atm not at your own bank? Because they charge for that."

No. We were going to the drive up window to get the withdrawal. We lived in BFE Nevada. There was one bank in town, and no atms anywhere but on the bank property.

There was nothing on our receipts that said "By the way, we've robbed you blind again. With this wd, we took another five dollars." FIVE dollars per withdrawal. You're allowed, oh, three for free in a quarter and then it was in a billing period (30 days), and then it jumps to ARMED highway robbery. And it ain't no water gun, folks.

Of course, we threw a fit, and the bank manager waived the excessive fees, as she was explaining that all the accounts had been changed and we should always read the fine print flyers because those would outline the differences as they were being implemented. I think, at the time, you had 15 days notice. Someone fought that, and we got 30 days notice. But that didn't help the bank account that was in the red, solely for bank fees assessed per withdrawal.

Good news on one score, they NOW have to send those changes to you 45 days in advance of when they take place. And they now have to give you 21 days "late leeway" before charging you higher interest.

Back to my Bank of America story...the savings account had us checking our other accounts. Our free checking forever had been charged for those free checks we ordered, and for each one that came through-at fifty cents PER check. That was back in the day when I wrote a lot of checks. Like, say, literally a hundred or more a month. (I was a shopaholic and my husband made good money. So sue me!) But, I swear, it was mostly at dollar stores and places like Big Lots and Swap Meets.

Anyhow, am I boring you? There really is a point or two to all this.

The same week, I caught the CEO of BoA on a talk show. He was being interviewed because BoA was the fastest growing financial institution in the world. He laughingly admitted the reason was because of the fees they charged their customers. (That hasn't changed.)

I was horrified to see him admit it so readily. But maybe more so because I knew, in my heart and soul, that it was true.

We went to close all our accounts and found out that all of our kids' accounts, which had their birthday money and prize winnings from their Junior Rodeo year end awards, had all been confiscated by BoA. The free kids accounts had somewhere taken on exorbitant financial fees, monthly service charges that ate all their money up in just a few months. They tried to say we owed money for those, too. So, yes, I'm saying BoA ROBBED OUR KIDS.

Fit throwing in public has become one of my specialties when it comes to unfair thievery like this. You can rob me blind and I'll complain, and mutter, but go home without a huge fuss-- but get into the piddly little "life savings" my children have accumulated at our encouragement "for college" and I become the screaming banshee from hell, crying, ranting, wailing with a lot of gnashing of teeth and "How could you? Have you no conscience?"

I even dragged my kids in to look soulfully at the bank manager and ask, one by one, "Did you steal my money too?"

You might be saying, "Oh, no you didn't."
But yes, I did.

You might be saying, "You traumatized your kids like that?"
And I would say, "I taught them not to let someone get away with that sort of thing without making them, at the very least, look you in the eye." I also taught them to speak up and say, "This is wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself," when things like this happen to them.

And to read the fine print, and not assume the best of a bank, just because it looks like a respectable business--because a business is just that, a place looking to make a buck off of every customer or client that comes through the door.

But the bank manager had a job to keep and she looked them in the eye and said, "Well, honey, your account changed. We had to." To my oldest daughter, she had the nerve to add, "I would lose my job if I didn't do what my boss told me to."

My daughter replied, "So, you are okay with taking the twenty dollars my grandma and grandpa gave me for Christmas? Remember when we came in to get our accounts, and you smiled and said it was all free and you would take care of my money for me so I could go to college one day?"

Yeah.
That woman needed to be ashamed. She was the equivalent of the axeman at a beheading. The henchman doing the dirty work. And that kid never got to go to college because we, honestly, couldn't afford to send her after banks like BoA took our money.

I don't know how much more a bank branch manager makes over the tellers, but she was getting paid well to do that job. I hope she remembers that moment forever. But I think she felt justified, and it didn't really bother her.

I guess my point in relaying it is to say we should all "call people out" when they are "only doing as they were told."

Do you know that people spend more time in prison for stealing someone's money than for murder these days?

Long story short, we don't do business with that bank any more. We try to encourage people toward any bank but that one. When someone who banks there gives me a check, I go to their bank and cash it at the counter. I know a lot of people who've been robbed blind by them.

I ask the teller, "Can you check to see if this person has the funds in the account to cover this BEFORE I sign it and hand it over?" It's the only way I can do my part to keep my friends from being raped worse by that bank. Of course, a teller can't tell you their balance, and who wants to know it anyway? But sometimes, you can save a person a finance fee by calling them and saying "The bank said it wouldn't go through, let me trade you cash for this check and save you and me both the bounced check charges."

I dunno about you, but I don't have the cash to cover bad checks. That becomes a bounce-back nightmare. And, honestly, people who don't have enough money to cover the original check usually can't afford the bounced fees on top of it.

And, it seems, the financial bailout is just raping US more. My husband commented that someone had done the math and that multi billion dollar bailout could've been split up to give each American 4 million dollars. I think I noted this before the bailout.

I had to go look that up. Guess it was 3.5 mil each. See here: http://deathby1000papercuts.com/2008/09/700-billion-bailout-give-each-adult-american-35-million/

I honestly think they should have done that. Imagine what we would have done to our economy if they'd done it that way.

Many people would have started businesses. We all would have been spending more. The majority would have brought all their loans current, or paid them off. It would have bailed out the financial institutions in a way that would have made us all happy.

But no. We didn't do it that way.

And, to be honest, none of us expected it to happen in the way fairytale dreams are made of. We knew it would just be another nightmare unfolding.

But you and I both know the US govt has always been in the business of acquiring small pinches from our wallets at a time so they can put away another big sum for future emergencies and bailouts.

I just wonder if there is an end to the hands being held out? I don't think so. And I think the bailout was inevitable, but a bad precedent to start.

The big three (car industry) were smart to jump in first, crying for help, insisting that they are the hub of so many jobs that will be lost in ripple effect if they aren't taken care of.

I say...they shouldn't have taken the majority of their manufacturing to Mexico. Or wherever. I feel the same about Heinz pickling elsewhere, and a lot of our computer makers outsourcing everything from small parts to customer service. I dunno about you, but I really hate calling a helpline and getting someone I can't understand because english isn't their first language. Ah, I digress to yet another peeve.

But then, I also say our congress shouldn't tax and regulate OUR companies to death. We should impose higher import taxes on the competitive brands being brought in from other countries, and even if the companies are American owned, but outsource, there should be an import tax.

I am constantly aggravated to know that it is cheaper for, say, Japanese honey to be bottled and shipped across the ocean, brought in and put on our shelves--than it is for our own honey farmers to bottle and put theirs on the shelf next to the Jap. brand. That IS ridiculous.

Ditto with the fact that every cow in America is inspected. (Not against that!) But only one truck in TEN bringing beef in from Canada is inspected.

On the same token, my husband used to love Rocky boots. The minute those puppies were outsourced to another country, and the Ohio plant shut down, he can't find a pair of their boots to fit him properly. You'd think they'd be made with the same templates and machinery, but something is different. AND the prices to consumers didn't go down.

Which phrase always makes struggle at swallowing. (pun intended, folks)

Tell me how they can build a new plant in another country, and move all the machinery down there, and import/ship the end product back into America, and it be cheaper for them? I mean, it was no surprise it didn't get cheaper for us, the American consumers.

But I think that boils down to them getting write-offs for expenses out, and being able to pay cheaper wages and shipping costs and not have to have their items inspected as thoroughly because they are from another country now. Our free trade agreements just screw us and help other countries.

I say BUY AMERICAN.
I say READ THE FINE PRINT.
I say COMPLAIN EVERYWHERE YOU CAN when you're being cheated, overtaxed, or railroaded into something you never initially signed up for.

I definitely say WRITE TO YOUR REPS AND PRESIDENT AND ANYBODY ELSE THAT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. Email makes it easy!

While I am happy to hear that many Americans are getting their houses financed at better rates, I am terribly annoyed at the fact that those who managed to pay their loans on time and not get behind are unable to take advantage of the lower interest rates and special refinancing allowed by our govt bailout.

That wouldn't be me, btw.

A question of ethics, honesty, and integrity

2008-12-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

More on the Obama thing?

http://www.sodahead.com/blog/30693/latest-news-on-obamas-birth-certificate/

I think the point that he is a lawyer and should understand the laws of evidenciary is a big thing. Also, it appears he is staying silent so as not to incriminate himself. I just gotta ask...if it's all legal and honest and above board, why the hell isn't he whipping the puppy out? One measly birth certificate. What the hell! How did he get it "sealed" so people can't look at it. You and I can't get ours hidden from public scrutiny, can we? And how did he go about getting his sealed?

I've got five kids, myself and my husband, and I've been to the place in their birth states to request copies of their birth certificates and didn't have any one say no. By paying the fee, they're happy to give you a certified copy.

What is this all about? To get more publicity?

Or because he's trying to build even more minority support and sympathy...? Is his dream to "rook" the entire American population into allowing people not born here to rule our nation? (It seems so.)

I just want to scream "Show us your real Birth Certificate, Obama!What on earth would make you NOT show it?"

And this is not a matter of "not appreciating his charisma or seeing his personal appeal to the people of America." He's good at charming folks. Nothing wrong with that.

However, I NEED the constitution to be upheld. It protects us all.

Some might say, "But he was just a baby. Any forgery on the present Birth Certificate is someone else's doing. I voted for the man and I'm still behind him."

Well, to those, I say...Really? Really!!?? You voted for the man who can't answer a simple question and show an honest birth certificate, who is a U.S. lawyer and therefore well aware of the laws of this land, yet blatantly being uncooperative in a very simple investigation?

I just feel like the American people have been duped again. You can like Obama's personality. You can like the dream of having "a new deal" in the White House--but he's not really dealing us a new hand. He's putting in a bunch of has-beens that didn't do a great shot the first time around the cabinet. That's not the "new change."

And I take offense to the media repeatedly calling him the Messiah. How can he live up to that?

But here's the question for the day...do politics stir your blood? Do you get excited, angry, or some other emotion when someone brings politics up? Do you have friends who disagree with you politically?

Writing on the blog becomes a challenge, so I'm obviously trying to stir up some conversation.

If you support Obama, do you think it doesn't matter if he breaks the law of citizenship and becomes president anyway?

Do you somehow think that voting for him was a way to get more handouts from the government, or a bigger refund at least?

Obama's Birth Certificate from KENYA

2008-12-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

The best thing I can do on today's subject is point you to sites with other links and documentation. You go and read, and look at all the evidence and then come back and explain your point of view if you don't agree that Obama is not a natural born citizen of the US (and therefore not a legal citizen, therefore not legal to run for the position of president.)

http://www.think-israel.org/special.birthcertificate.html

This one actually shows detail after detail, explaining why and how they can prove the Obama birth certificate that's been produced is obviously a forgery. Check it out: http://www.think-israel.org/special.birthcertificate.html

THis next site is priceless, imo. A politician in KENYA announced (recorded!) that Obama's birthsite in Kenya was getting a lot of traffic.

http://deathby1000papercuts.com/2008/11/obama-birth-certificate-wnd-kenya-and-african-press-internatl/

This next site has a link to the actual conversation where the Kenya Ambassador admits the thing about Obama's birthplace being in Kenya. http://advanceindiana.blogspot.com/2008/11/kenyan-ambassador-admits-obamas-birth.html

Again, the comments are perhaps the most fun on these sites. One person cries innocent and points a finger in another direction. The next slams all that.

I like this next one because it gives phone numbers for you to contact YOUR representatives, so you can express your opinion on the matter, whether you want to skewer the liars (we may all differ on who those are), or you just want your rep to know whether to support (or not) the fight to see the real "vaulted" document Obama keeps not producing.

I say...if it's honest and all good and above board, why didn't he pop that puppy out proudly? By not producing it at first query, it becomes a cover-up for SOME reason. Was he just trying to build suspense?

I'm guessing those who voted for Obama are saying "What does it matter? He won. Give it to him."

But anybody who understands the ramifications of letting a non US born person run and win the election of President for our great country...and what allowing an illegal alien (forgerer, and someone who, as a lawyer, knows the law and the ramifications of committing a felony, or protecting someone else who has committed the felon...)

I just want to scream...lay the damn real birth certificate on the table. By withholding it, you're rallying the masses to get angrier and angrier by the moment. I hate being duped. I hate lawyers and politicians skirting our law, or flagrantly disregarding it. That was my problem with the Clintons. They commit every felony on the books and dancing as they laugh their way to the bank.

And everybody likes them, or identifies with them some way...some folks smoke pot, some cheat on their spouse, some cheat on their taxes, some dupe the government out of cash in various schemes...all reasons they forgive ol Bill when he gets caught in another mistake.

I'm sure some folks will look at the Obama birth certificate issue and say, "So what? He won."

I say...he wasn't even supposed to be in the race. What GOOD American citizen did he cheat out of the job?

Smacks a little of the "illegal mexicans are taking jobs from good Americans," huh?

It's tiring to read the stupid news. It gets dumber and dumber. No wonder Obama is all about saying "Come on in, no slap on the hands, you illegals." I'm surprised he hasn't thrown a gala party to give them handouts. We know that the minority vote helped him in the elections.

I ramble, and I'm tired. I do not mean to offend. I mean to say "WAKE UP AND READ THE CONFLICTING STORIES." There ARE conflicting stories.

Until Obama produces a legitimate birth certificate that can't be picked apart as an obvious forgery, I will withhold support from him. I'm not proud that our next president is not up and up on something as simple as where he was born. His own grandma says he was born in Kenya, and that's how he got his Kenya citizenship.

Just read the links--and the pages listed above--all the way through. Then, if you have some links to post that can point us to an honest birth certificate, bring it to us. I, and my readers, would love to see the evidence FOR Obama.

Contest reminder! Air Heads and other Retro Movies

2008-12-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

Odds are very good that Brenda is going to win something in my ongoing contest. Let me remind everyone else...every single post to this blog will get your name in the pot for four drawings. All of them are for gift certificates and you can choose where yours is from: Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble...any place I can do an online e-gift so you can get it right away. So, my comments and posts are meant to stir up some sort of comment, even if you disagree. Please state your opinions! And explain why you have them.

**
In other news, my oldest daughter has come to visit me! Lalalalala! I love having her home.

She's introduced me to Netflix. I'm not an adventurous sort with all the new "order something here" programs. I didn't know that you can get into your Netflix account through xbox 360 online, and watch movies on your tv in an instant that way. How convenient! Especially right now when we have snow and I'm too lazy to go outside, up town, 9 miles to the closest movie rental store.

We are watching AIR HEADS this morning. An older (1994) flick staring Brenden Frazier, Adam Sandler, and Steve Buscemi. Too funny.

I forgot the line where Adam Sandler says something about a guy being tased until he went bald. That always makes me laugh out loud.

Hanging with Casi is a fun mix of blasting into the past and learning what's new and cool now and recognizing I need to catch up!

Anyhow, the movie's on, gotta go watch it. What retro movie do you keep revisiting? Any faves? I gotta admit, Raising Arizona is one of my all time favorites. I loved Nicolas Cage before he was "famous".

A prick? in the rosy future...?

2008-12-15T08:38:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you're all up on politics much more than I am. Or maybe not. I know some of you are happy to think that Obama is the "president elect" and some are still hoping the recounts and electoral college will overturn that.

It might not even come to that, though. Did you know...?

There are lawsuits popping up all over the place--insisting Barrack Obama PROVE he is not an illegal alien. While there is a birth certificate listed on his website registering him as a live birth, there are more details to the situation than the "glossed over" Obama team is addressing.

His paternal grandmother has come out with admitting that he was, indeed, born in Kenya, and she was in the delivery room when it happened. You can read the story here: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=78931

That website and the first objection to Obama's illegal citizen status and falsified birth records was brought forward by a DEMOCRAT.

But, to add injury to the situation, a dink judge tried to cover it up and throw out the first lawsuit by saying the American people had "insufficient interest" in the issue.

Whether there is a lot of interest or not, a lawsuit with proof is brought before a judge, and that damned judge needs to do his job and RULE on the proof, and allow all proof and denial to be put on the table. He just dismissed it out of hand. Which, of course, smacks of coverup. You can read about it here: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=81865

You can also sign a petition to demand the issue be examined more closely, and the documents which have been "sealed" be made public. My birth certificate (in Indiana) is not sealed. My five children's birth certificates are not "sealed" from public examination. I'll bet none of yours are, either.

I say, whatever way YOU voted, you have to understand the biggest points to the dilemma of legal citizenship for Obama. It is illegal and unconstitutional for someone who is not a legal citizen of the US to be president of our country. That is a protection for our citizens put in place by our constitutional fathers.

But, if you don't "get that", check out this page: http://patdollard.com/2008/11/why-the-barack-hussein-obama-birth-certificate-issue-is-legitimate/

I think everyone should go to the link (above) because it lists reasons why every American should insist this issue be proven, one way or another. It's a bigger issue than how much a liar Obama, and his team, are or aren't. It's about our constitutional rights to question things, and how those are handled in court.

I read through the comments and really think the third one, in gray, is a fair assessment of what every citizen should be thinking over this issue. But then, you all have your opinions and the freedom to express them--which circles us right back to our fantastic constitutional rights and how we must preserve them, and uphold the constitution and bill of rights at all costs--especially against those who would peel away those rights layer by layer, piece by piece.

So, to conclude this political blah, blah, blah...the rosy future some thought Obama would ring in has only opened up yet another can of deceitful worms.

If the man has nothing to hide, then let the documents requested be brought forth for scrutiny. But if they prove to be forged, or not legitimate evidence of true and legal citizenship, then prosecute him for the fraud he knowingly purpetrated against the american public. The man is a lawyer, he can't possibly cry "he didn't know the law."

I know some of you are his fans. I say, if he is honest, then the truth will prove it through. But if he isn't, then let Americans wake up to see the treachery.

His questionable birthrigh and upraising, I think, are exposed on the websites I've pointed to above.

Now, lest you think I'm just being a racist, please don't. I would have voted for Collin Powell in a heartbeat. Condoleeza Rice? I'm behind that on-the-ball chick's bandwagon right now. This is not about race. It is about what's right, and fair, and honest, and constitutional RIGHT.

I know that many people will say that a writer should keep their political commentary to themselves. I feel like I can complain about this issue because I am a citizen of the USA. I have the right to freedom of speech. So do you.

Let's not dick around. hehehe CONTEST REMINDER

2008-12-09T08:51:00.001-08:00

I see what type of posts rally the masses now. And they say women shy away from penis talk.

IMO, we talk about pricks all the time. Every Tom (cat), DICK, and HAIRY, one of them.

You'll be happy to know men everywhere are stepping up for testing, volunteering their services in the name of science. Check it out here: http://www.topix.com/forum/tech/T1TAA4JF33TNUEIJB

The comments are the best part of blog postings like this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, folks.

I have asked this before, I think, because my editor, Stef, and I have talked about this often. She says "If you use the word penis, I will substitute dick, cock, or prick."

So, I ask you, which do you prefer of all the terms used?

Flashback to Austin Power movies (and badly haired monkey chests) are coming to my mind now. Remember how they used every term possible, from sausage and schlong to Johnson and shaft?

If you were to rate the terms (and add your own please!) Which terms are the most offensive, and least crude to you?

I like the word cock better, but my husband, for example, uses the term dick more often.

When I hear words like schlong, peter, Johnson, I almost always laugh. Schlong? Because it's just a silly word (to me). Peter? Because there are many poor men named that fine name, and I also think of something I was told over 20 years ago--Gin makes my peter limp. I was a total virgin back then. Ditto with every person with a last name Johnson. Soooo sad. (giggling like a school girl here. So sad.) I'd have my name changed.

Okay, doing the math, I may have been popped by then but the cherry was still in my head. I was soooo naive. I had to have an explanation. Hadn't heard the term peter used that way before. Yeah, I know--that's super naive. But sometimes I think a sheltered life for a girl is okay. She shouldn't have to know what men will expect until the guy's already got her finger wrapped in gold and she's in his bed, eating his food. (Not the super food referred to at the beginning of this post.)

It's funny. I grew up in northern Indiana and never heard anyone talk about sex except the teacher during sex ed class and that was mostly a "girls have periods" talk.

But, as an adult in Nevada, and now Missouri, I don't have conversations very often that aren't referring back to the male organ.

Okay, I have plenty at church, but outside of that? Nada.

Every woman I know is dealing with the man/men in their life and what having a dick in their life actually means. Usually, trying to please Peter, or keep Johnson at bay. (puns intended)

Can you ever please one of these enough? Do you think having sex until he's rubbed raw is the way to go? Or would you get to that state before him?

I had a friend a long time ago whose husband could, apparently, never be satisfied. They would sometimes go 4 rounds, one right after another. She felt horrible because he wasn't satisfied with one good session and always wanted more from her. Plus, he made a point of saying SHE needed to do more.

My advice was for her to meet him at the door, say she wanted it, insist on getting it NOW because SHE is the one that wanted it.

And then, the minute he's done, insist he go again, and again, and explain that her need to get an orgasm through HIS efforts is the problem.

You know, put the shoe on the other foot. Instead of her playing catch up all the time, by meeting him at the door and asking for more and more, he was put in the position of being the failure, and couldn't put that upon her.

She found that he became more easily satisfied personally.

Of course, this all happened after she found out he had cheated on her. She was desperate to please him. I realized that was a control factor he used on her. Shitty, but true.

I had a non-sexual experience of the same nature with my father in law. I would walk into a room and he would notably say hello and welcome everyone but me, so I was feeling left out. It didn't take long for me to realize it was a total power play and he was winning.

My response was to enter a room and go out of my way to say hello to everyone in a notable fashion, by name (as he had done), except leaving him out. It put him on the other side of things, and he could never catch up because it became obvious he had ceased to exist in my eyes.

I've had to use this more than once with other people who have hurt me deeply. We tend to defend ourselves by begging someone to like us, or hiding in a room where they can't touch us.

How do you feel about this sort of thing? Do you see it happening to you? Or to people around you? Have you tried one way or the other of dealing with someone?

It's not very nice to leave someone out, and that isn't really in my nature. I'm the girl that invites people to have a big, whole table conversation as opposed to two people whispering here and there.

But I think everyone needs to protect their selves from time to time. When it comes to dealing with people, eye to eye contact when you talk to someone lets them know that you are really listening.

I think we all want that from our significant others. Here's where I circle back to the original topic and round up the posse to go after this topic. Do you think men bring up the silly comments about eating nuts and absorbing protein by suction on their danglies...to get a woman to look him in the eye and get a response that he knows is completely totally directed at him?

I dunno. What do you think?

CONTEST REMINDER:
Remember, every time you post comments on this blog or email a comment to me this month, you'll get your name put in the hat for the free holiday drawings for gift certificates. I'm giving out four. Your name will go in EVERY time you make a comment. So, with each comment, your chances of winning are increased quite a bit. And all the names will be pulled from the same hat (or bowl, in this case.) Good luck!

Eating Penis, Christmas Contest, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

2008-12-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

I had a whole post written here and, believe it or not, my dog did not eat it. She erased it, though!

A week ago, I got a 2 1/2 lb yorkie. We call her Pixie. She is tiny. Her paw barely covers my escape key. Her weight is just enough to trigger it, I guess. (No. Not kidding.)

So, I'll try this again.

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving week/weekend/holiday. What were you thankful for? I was grateful that two of my kids were with me, and sad that the other three chose to be elsewhere. But c'est la vie. That's life once kids grow up. Right?

I did a Rachel Ray take, and got some boneless skin-on turkey breasts from my butcher. They cooked in an hour. We had no carcass to pick apart afterwards. So, that was good.

I also tried the Stove Top cranberry turkey stuffing. I also made the regular, which is always good. However, if you ate that AFTER the stuff with cranberry in it, it seemed blah. Who knew a few cranberries could perk up the palate so well?

I'm sure you're more interested in the EATING PENIS topic than a holiday dinner prep.

I have been searching ebay for Christmas gifts that are affordable. When you have five kids, you always need to seek bargains, and I'm not really up to a lot of on-foot walking.

Anyhow, I came across some chinese herbals. Always interested in that sort of thing, and lookin in particular for weight loss help, I read the fine print, and try to discern what ingredients are really supposed to do. I always cross research and double check.

For example, I think I already mentioned that the diabetic (and weight loss help!) drug Metformin is derived from Goat's Rue. And that can be gotten in pure form.

So, I'm reading CODPAWN's items for sale. CODPAWN is a seller on ebay. He has a wide variety of chinese herbal products from an acupuncture store going out of business.

I emailed to ask what each of his items were for. The reply? Mostly weight loss.

I, of course, know the one called alopecia is for hair loss.

The most intriguing of all, I suppose, is a listing that includes BULL OF PENIS. To see it for yourself, just go to ebay and type in: 13 BOTTLES BA ZHEN WAN CHINESE HERABL DIETARY PILLS Item number: 390013489054

This item drove me to my ever faithful search engine. I typed in Bull of penis chinese medicine is good for...

It took me to this site: http://www.rawmeat.com/link.php?id=7996

Where, apparently, the penis emporium (a restaurant in China) is reviewed. Go ahead, check it out. Be wary. Picture of penis/penises/peni? are displayed. The entire topic is penis. So, if that offends you, don't go. And why are you reading this now?

LOL
To my utter surprise, Penis of russian dog is on the menu. So is Tiger penis. And we all know that is illegal. Tigers are endangered everywhere, aren't they?

The reviewer mentions that to the server, who, at the emporium of penises, is referred to as a nutritionist because they are well able to explain the purpose of eating EACH type of penis.

The server, er, nutrionist waiting on the reviewer smiles weakly (I suppose) as she mentions that they, of course, do not hunt the animals and that most of their penis served is from old and already dying livestock.

Yeah, that's a comfort, huh?

I hear women (and a few gay guys) everywhere yelling "Goddammit! We want our penises young and strong and virile and potent!"

After all, what's the point of eating penis if it isn't healthy?

Which is a commentary that all MEN should want to comment on. I say, go ahead. (I know this could degrade quickly. So, should I apologize before it does? Nah?)

Women, I dare you to put this to the men in your life. Take them to the website I've listed. Read aloud the story. Then read this column and ask them to defend the need to eat penis, even if it isn't young and virile and still potent. I'm sure every man out there will have an answer.

Like...semen is all protein, and good for your hair, nails, and skin...whether you rub it on or swallow it. (How many times have I heard that?)

But where is the scientific study on that? Anybody got a website to point us to? One that is NOT a porn site?

I'm all for talking about sex and willing to point you to other websites that do, but not really into aiming you at out and out porn sites.

Anyhow, I obviously need to get to writing while THIS IRON is hot.

I've wasted a lot of time today. I watched the movie version of The Ideal Husband, which is based on an Oscar Wilde play. I've seen it before, but like the ins and outs of his work. Always a good turnabout.

I have a raging headache. Perhaps brought on buy thinking too hard about eating penis so early in the morning.

No. Wait. That probably isn't the cause. ;)

In any case, I shall try to revive this blog with more drivel of the same ilk. I hope you'll tune in, and comment. As this is the beginning of the month we celebrate Christmas, and some celebrate Hannukah and whatever else goes on this time of year, I now open my Christmas Contest. Every comment here, or even via private email to me, will get your name put in the hat. I'll draw one on Christmas Eve, another on Christmas, another on New Year's Eve, and yet another on New Year's Day. FOUR gift certificates will be given out.

Now, say something!

(And have a great day. I swear, share the penis commentary with your romantic interest and you WILL start something that will make the world blush...you know, if you were to talk about it.)

What's up? I have a new puppy!!

2008-11-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hiya.

What's up with you? Anything new?

I've been busy trying to write. Since I haven't accomplished a lot this last year or so, I needed to get refocused. (Still working on that!) Some of you will be happy to know I'm really trying to pull my science fiction head together and have been working steadily on novels of that nature.

I am also meditating on a book I'm putting together with Vickie Gay, world reknowned psychic. And will be doing more werewolves pretty soon, too. So, fans of that can look forward to more of those. I just have to hold off on writing those until the publisher gets more of them out.

I find the going much slower than it used to be. I'm hoping it's just a matter of retraining myself. For some reason, I'm easily distracted. With science fiction, I have to go and look up everything to make sure my science is feasible. Sometimes I have to stop and get up and walk around and try to absorb the info.

I know I'm messed up when I stop writing so I can do the dishes. LOL Those haven't been a priority of mine since my first baby was born.

I haven't been able to tackle my email. It's just too overwhelming. I get in that inbox and feel like I'm drowning. I have thousands and thousands that have been sitting there for a while now, plus the new ones every day. I'm not talking about the spam ones, either. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about that. But don't take it personally if you've emailed me and I haven't responded. I'm just inundated, and I get in there and lose hours and hours without even making a dent.

For the same reason, I stopped hitting my blogs daily. Sorry, friends! When I get myself back up to speed, you'll see much more regular posts here.

IN COOLER NEWS:

I got a new puppy last Saturday. It's a little yorkie girl that weighs maybe 2 1/2 lbs. She's four months old. I don't think she'll get over 4 lbs full grown, if that much.

So cute. So cuddly. Didn't know diddly when I got her. I think the breeder is running a puppy mill. She wanted to meet me somewhere instead of have me drive out to her home. She told me she was going to give the puppies a bath the day before. My little girl doesn't smell fresh, and she had obviously had chunky matting cut out of her coat...but not all of them.

I want to give her a bath but it's been very chilly here and she's so little, I don't want to take a chance with her catching a cold. I think, if the temp rises outside another twenty degrees, I'll be able to give her one. It's 37 out there now.

I know. I know. You're saying, "But if your house is warm...?" But the truth is, a warm house always has a minimum of ten degree lower temp and usually draft, too, at ankle level--which is wear this baby scoots around.

I learned that from a pediatrician when I lived in Nevada.

Anyhow, we've named her Pixie. She's smart, enough to know that when I say "Want the blanket?" She'll go and put her teeth on it and pull it up over her shoulder. I think that only took about three or four askings.

But she doesn't know basics like "Come" or "Come here" even. I think all dogs that have been out of crates know when you're calling them to come to you. They don't all want to come. But they understand the gist, especially if you've got food in your hand and holding it out. This little girl acted like she'd never been given a tidbit by hand. I actually had to pry her mouth open the first few times.

Little itty bitty yorkies often have trouble with low sugar, and since we had one before (My daughter's little boy, Mojo--who tops out at 4 lbs after he's eaten), I recognized her pooped out look. Poor thing acted like she'd simply run out of gas, and couldn't hold her head up any more. So, I knew I needed to give her a little honey, and get some real food into her.

Most dogs will lick a finger with honey on it. She didn't. But, after prying her lips open and rubbing it on her gums, and then getting a drop or two on her tongue, she perked up pretty quick. I dunno if you know this, but little dogs with hypoglycemia issues can actually have strokes and seizures--like diabetics, and can have permanent brain damage from those.

Pixie has no signs of anything like that. I'm just saying...it's possible, and has been documented in a lot of the tiny tiny dogs. And it's better to be safe and sorry. I'd rather err on the side of giving her the sweet treat when it wasn't totally necessary than deal with the alternative.

In every way, this little girl is pretty, except one. She has big honking bat wing ears. And, while she CAN make them go straight up, she spends a lot of time with them pointing straight out to the side. I'd post pictures but you know I'm picture/graphics challenged.

Picture a yorkie whose head is just over an inch wide with ears that extend out to a full six inches all total. It is TOO funny.

My daughter Savannah bought her half brother. He is only 2 lbs and makes Pixie look big. She named him Tonka. They were born three days apart. Pixie came from a litter of EIGHT puppies. Who ever heard of a 3 1/2 lb yorkie having 4-4, let alone EIGHT? And they all survived, with no known health problems.

All I can say is...this is one crazy world.

Crows are cawing...

2008-10-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

I have a weird and noisy flock of crows cawing outside, flying all around. And no, there's nothing dead.

I know a lot of people love birds, but Alfred Hitchcock ruined me on them, and gave me a healthy respect for cats while he was at the movie business.

It's funny, they've been making noise for an hour and I started writing this, and suddenly they've stopped. I tell you, my world is crazy.

Or maybe I am for noticing silly things like birds going berzerk.

I have ten acres with walnut trees, right? This is walnut picking season. The trees are dropping these big green balls everywhere. Ya gotta be careful not to park under them right now, or you get hail damage type dents.

Anyhow, sometimes we let people who come to our door go out and pick them up. They make money on it. But it's something like a hundred pounds for ten bucks. Takes a lot of damn walnuts to make that.

But some years, we get so tired of people knocking on our door--or worse, just jumping into our fields and stealing them--that we've gotten stingy with our nuts this year. I had one neighbor...he asked, his son (in 20's), and his nephew (40's?) have all asked. I'm getting annoyed. The first time they asked, some of them were already in the field. I told them to get out. Guess they pissed me off by trespassing.

I just don't understand people thinking they can come into your yard and take something that IS sellable.

Then, the kid also came and asked if he could cut my trees, and have the downed wood. I said nope.

Truth is, the property was logged before we bought it. We'd like to get more trees growing up, and they will do so better if there's some of the old ones "melting" back into the ground for enriching the soil. Or, that's my understanding. In any case, we like our downed trees and the idea that a walnut tree might grow up out of some of those nuts.

Hunting season (deer) is about to open up here, too. And we have idiots leaping into our fields to see if they can shoot a deer, too. Some of these idiots literally drive around with loaded guns over their laps, pointing out the windows of their pickup trucks so they can quick aim and shoot.

It IS illegal, but they do it. I'm in a part of the country where people buy real guns for their kids 8th birthdays. Little boys are out there shooting squirrel, possum, coon, and armadillos for fun.

The conservation department got this wise idea to offer free fake deer for people to put in their yard. If you see one of those, it is virtually a "Deer are safe here" sign meaning "Don't shoot." But, it just annoys the hunters all the more and they shoot the hell out of the fake deer. Since they are usually put in front of a house, in the front yard...it's like they're doing a driveby.

So, I've opted out of putting one of those out there.

I have one neighbor that put up NO TRESPASSING signs, and some smart ass came through with spray paint and painted over the TRES part. So, they now read NO ASSING.

Since spray paint is no longer sold to minors, you know the idiot you did it was over the legal age. That's the mentality I'm dealing with here, folks.

While the No Assing signs are funny at first glance, it's annoying that people then trespassed, and he called the cops, and the cops said, "Well, technically, your sign no longer says NO TRESPASSING, therefore we can't prosecute."

The signs have been replaced, I kid you not, repeatedly, with the same results.

Also, we live on a dirt road that is a cut-through, apparently, to other more major roads. We only have about 6 houses in the entire hollow which runs a couple miles long. We shouldn't much traffic at all. We also have some people with little children who occasionally get out in the road on their bikes. But...does that slow people down? We have one neighbor who has little kids, but his are up on a hill so not in a road, so he doesn't slow down, and neither does his wife. They've both told me, "People will learn to keep their kids out of the damn road, then, won't they?"

That was after I voiced a concern about one of the other children getting hurt, with so much traffic going through, and some of it being so fast.

Yeah...winners, huh?

And those people have a friggin' Waco arsenal up there, on top of that. Nice to know that man is on our school board, and supporting the local sheriff's election.

Maybe you see this as all normal, but it seems weird to me.

And even weirder, the crows have really stopped making noise. I swear, all day yesterday, they were circling my property, and I couldn't concentrate on a thing.

Anyhow, please post and let me know you're out there and kicking. I'm thinking about starting up my newsletter again, and giving out more gift certificates. Spread the word. Maybe I'll do a special one for the holidays. Sound good? Ready to win something?

Hey, friends!

2008-10-29T06:28:00.001-07:00

Hey, as you know, I've been a terrible blogger for months now. But, I'm catching up today by writing a book for you! Here goes...

My email is in the same state as the blog--terribly neglected. Let me pubicly apologize to all of you who have tried to contact me. My email is bouncing, but some is getting through. I don't know what that is all about and have sent emails to tech support, but you know how that goes. They see some coming through so they don't think there's a problem, but people are letting me know they've tried to contact me and I haven't responded. I always respond to email IF I get it. Sometimes it takes me a few days. But if you haven't heard back in a week, you need to assume I DIDN'T get it.

I have been overwhelmed with life, and spinning a lot of wheels without accomplishing much. (Or so it feels to me.) I'm sure I'm not the only one who has felt like this, or had to let some things fall behind just to keep some sanity--not that I'm saying I've kept any of that.

I've had some crazy things happen...which, as you know, is the way my life runs. My oven quit working. Worked fine one day and wasn't the next. I had to replace it, so the old one is sitting on my front porch and the box for the new one is on the grass just in front of that, so I'm looking more and more like some poor dirt farmer (trailer trash?), but I'm hoping they will both be moved sometime soon. The truth is, I think the range probably only needed new oven coils/heating elements, but oh well, got a new stove! Woohoo!

This new one is a ceramic top with white speckles on it. I'm not loving the speckles, my other one was a black ceramic top. And worse, I've already got something on one of the new burners that I can't seem to get off, even using the ceramic cleaner that came with the thing. I've tried some serious elbow grease and another cleaner or two. Anybody know how to get buildup off a ceramic stove top?

Next, My laptop showed no screen yesterday, like no activity, no ACER background, nothing. I pushed the on/off button lots of times, and got nothing except a little green light saying it was on. Tried closing it, reopening it, etc. NO GO. And then, when my son came home from school hours later, I told him, and he opened it and it worked fine. Explain that to me.

Also, last month, my home phone crapped out completely. I just got a new phone, though, so anyone who might have tried to call--sorry if I missed you. (Same number, of course.)

***

In health news, I took another trip to the doctor and had some bloodwork done, plus added two new prescriptions. I have a gallon size ziplock bag FILLED with what I take every day now, and I can't shut it. The bloodwork came back and it appears I have some things that are completely off the scales. There was a note from my doctor saying, "It's a good thing we already have another appt. scheduled. We'll have to talk about this."

It's nothing that will kill me, I think. The normal things, like cholesterol and all that are just fine. Do you have a clue to what any of these mean?
Leukocytes, globulin (calc) below normal numbers on the scale. Insulin 3x the top end accepted number. And my osmolality (calculated) is way high. I dunno what any of it means and am too lazy to look it up. I figure he'll tell me when I get to the office. There are others that are as high or low, with .1 of being over or under the acceptable rate. So, the upshot is that its more verification that I'm just out of whack.

I'm still dealing with pain going down my left leg. The pain dr said we have to wait before doing any more spinal procedures. He sent me to the physical therapist.

My physical therapist, a woman who has never been overweight or had any ONE of the problems I have, thinks it is all in my head. She'd like me to sign up for all day therapy twice a week. First, let me ask...who would want to do that? Second, all day therapy? 8 hrs of...what? (I asked) The first three hours is group therapy where we all sit in vibrating recliners and talk about our problems, and the next half of the day is alternating between more of that and some basic gym equipment/exercises.

While I'm sure the gym exercises couldn't hurt, half a day of talking about my problems with a group of strangers doesn't seem like it could help me kill the pain in my leg. Although I know lots of people like group therapy.

Third, really, who has two days to kill a week? I can't let my laundry go that long, or my writing. I'm shaky enough on both of those already when I am at the house where it is easy to get to.

One of my therapy sessions, the girl manipulated the one leg and hip that I'm having problems with. It was the only thing different. Made the pain unbearable. When I told her the next week, she insisted it wasn't her fault. Over and over again, she said "It couldn't have been anything I did." And I kept saying back, "Well, I didn't do anything else except what you did to me here. That has to be what caused the problem to worsen!" There's a DUH. Right? I stopped going to her.

***

I took some time out to do some crafts, all supervised projects with craft teachers at my church, so the cost was minimal. But I've given them all to my daughters. It's funny...I do a ton of artsy stuff (not saying it's good art!), but my house shows nothing of that because I've given it all away. My mom laughs at me when I say I'm really into painting, etc. and have been for over 20 years. My friends, who've got some of my stuff, say "You should make her something really nice." But my oldest daughter keeps repeating, "Don't. Grandma doesn't deserve it." Since she lived with my mom, and still lives in the same town, I have to wonder why she's saying that.

I'm not Rembrandt. I don't want to give the impression I'm a mega artist in the making. I just like to play with paint and short term projects. I have some monstrosities on canvas, many in semi-finished states. But sitting at the angle to paint a picture, hurts my knees. And holding the brush up makes my arm ache--courtesty of my fibromyalga and arthritis, I'm sure. Anyhow, here's what I made:

I made a wooden jack-o-lantern tole painted orange that was cut into pieces and then wired back together. It hangs on the door or a peg or whatever. Very cute.

Then I made a kind of cool candle holder. We took glass plates and globes and then clear votive holders. We decopage glued some pretty fall leaves patterned material onto the bottom of the plate, and added orange glitter/glue around the edge. Then, we glued the votive into the globe, and that onto the top of the plate, and then slid some glittered fake leaves that matched the fabric into the space between the globe and the votive.

The third craft was sanding a bunch of different sized blocks, staining them, and painting one side, then sticking vinyl scrolled letters on them to spell HARVEST. At the same time, I did a small pumpkin in similar painting style to set at the end of the word.

***

I have a poll I need you to answer. What sort of pictures do you put on your walls? I'm assuming we all like pictures of our kids/relatives. Do you like paintings or photographic art?

Ah, that reminds me that the photograph I won the Cliff Edom Photography prize for back in May will be printed in an Echoes of the Ozarks, Vol. 4 (I think.) I'll let you know when that comes out, in case you're interested in seeing that. I assume that will eventually be posted on this page: http://www.ozarkswritersleague.org/anthology(2).htm
but that website is as outdated as both of mine and this blog. I really need to get it together.

***
To update you on a few things (as far as publishing goes)...I've had eleven books released this year. Five were the first five books from the Wanton Werewolf Series I had with Extasy Books. They have been re-released as the PACK Series with Mojocastle Press, both in ebook and print--I believe. Haven't seen the print copies on those yet. Also released, are full length novels/books 6 and 7, Pack Taboo, and Pack Attack. You can find those here: http://www.mojocastle.com/packalpha/book6.html

The sexy poetry book, Caresses Well Done and my science fiction novel Angel B.E.T. are available here: http://www.mojocastle.com/carys/weldon.html
Angel B.E.T. was released in ebook and print this year.

And coming soon from Mojocastle is the first book in a new werewolf series titled Raven's Mischief.

Plus, I believe my vampire tales will be coming out sometime real soon. They will all get a series cover, I think, like the pack books--to speed up their releases. They have all been through edits, I think, now.

Other books I've released this year under my real name are Journal Jumpstart (Awoc.com) which is a great little workbook for those who want to start keeping a journal, or write their memoirs, or work on writing altogether.

And the rest are anthologies:

Deadknots, a paranormal mystery anthology (Hardshell Word Factory) that contains stories from CJ Winters and myself. (Fun read! As far as I know, it's gotten all five star reviews.)

Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers, a Chicken Soup type anthology, contains my story Creepy Cat, which you will probably find funny.

The Ultimate Horse Lover anthology contains my story Playful Paint.

***
I also went to the Ozarks Creative Writers conference in Eureka Springs, Arkansas this month and won eight awards. I'll list them in case you're interested in what I won something for.

1st Place, Mid South Writer's Group Award, Short Romance Story titled "Sweet Talk."
2nd Place, Caudle Memorial Award, humorous Short Story titled "Mom's Messy Drawers."
3rd Place, Ozarks Literary Award, Short Story (any genre), Western titled "Pim."
1st HM, Northwest Arkansas Writer's Workshop Award, 1st Chapter of a Romance Novel, "Going Places With A Greek God."
1st HM, The Storyteller Magazine Historical Fiction Award, humorous, "I Spy An Attack Rat."
1st HM, My Favorite Things Award, Essay on writing, "It's Elemental Really."
1st HM, Wayne Weatherford Memorial Award, Western Short Story "After the Wakaruska War, Before the Sackings."
1st HM, The Oxbow Award, 1st Chapter of a Western Novel, "The Second Son."

***
Now, catch me up. What have you been up to?

MO State Poetry Convention

2008-08-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

Let me apologize for posting so sketchily of late. Life is just overwhelming sometimes.

Ever get so many obligations you can't see straight or do anything but stare blindly ahead trying to remember what you should prioritize to do next?

(Wow. Talk about your wordy sentences!)

I've been busy, spinning wheels, getting too little accomplished.

That aside, I've started 30 short stories this last month and set them all aside for one reason or another. That is NOT good. I finished one essay and a couple short stories, but I don't know what I'll do with them, if anything.

The next Missouri State Poetry Convention will be held in Springfield next month, sponsored by the chapter (Mo. Poets and Friends) that I was a president and vice president of for awhile. Due to my health issues and gas prices, I haven't been going to their meetings this year, but if I can pull myself together by tonight, I might go up and see what they've got planned.

My oldest daughter offered to buy me a ticket to Vegas. Isn't that sweet? I'd love to go and spend the time with her...but I feel bad accepting the ticket as a gift. What do you think? Should I say, "But it. I'm on the next plane!" Or what?

I can't stick around here to ramble. It's afternoon and I haven't even dressed. Depression is a crazy thing, the way it affects stuff like regular habitats. Normally, I get up early, get dressed right away, and try to be productive immediately. But if I get up and don't do that at first, I find myself in a stupor sitting on the sofa (tv off even), wondering how the morning passed.

It's my left leg again. It's been shooting pains through my hip and knee. I absolutely can't think when it does that.

Anyhow, just wanted you to know...if you emailed me...I have so much going on in there, I couldn't even face the inbox for the last two weeks. I opened it today and suffered through two hundred already. Not spam, mind you. That's another filter/folder altogether. I'm talking about legitimate emails from people/friends and business acquaintances that I need to reply personally to.

So, if yours is in the pile-up forgive me. I WILL get to yours asap.
I hope you're having a wonderful life, or day, or even a few peaceful moments.

Talk to you soon.
*hugs*
Carys

Wiener Day

2008-07-24T05:16:00.000-07:00

I just found out that July 18 was officially Wiener Day.

I feel a little bit left out over missing the celebration. Although, I must say I've been trying to push the hot dogs in the fridge (mostly cheesy dogs) to my son. "Eat up," I say, "It'll make you stronger. You know you want one." Mostly, I say that because he makes his own hot dogs.

Anyhow, to find out how I learned of this auspicious event, and why it was started, go here:

http://www.yahoo.americangreetings.com/ecards/view.pd?i=311401215&m=2988&rr=y&source=yahoo999

There's a hot dog break dancing. It's funny for a second. I watched for awhile, but it never got to a big finish. I'd be interested if someone actually watches it to the end. (Long song, he's dancing to.) Is there anything big as a finale?

I've been busy...

2008-07-22T06:05:00.001-07:00

I don't know about you, but summer time has me doing more things with my family. Even if it means watching tv with my son more. (He's the baby of the bunch!) He's out of school until the middle of August, and is heading towards his senior year. I'm feeling sort of panicky about the fact that he's growing up and probably gonna leave home before I know it.

While some people totally rejoice at the idea of their kids leaving home, I cry. I know if I call them too much after they leave, they'll realize how desperately I miss their smiling (and cranky) faces. It's weird, but I really have to keep myself from calling them, each and every one--and as you know, I have five.

Anyhow, my son went to scout camp last week and I was lonely all day. It's funny because it's not like we sit around and chat all day when he IS home. He's usually got his head in a game (Computer or Xbox 360) and I've got my head in a manuscript.

But we do talk here and there, when one of us gets up to get another bottle of water, or to go to the bathroom or something.

While at camp, he won an award. They did skeet shooting and he hit 72 out of 75, or something like that. I told his sister Cheyenne that it really means, if he says RUN and let's see if I can hit you, while he has a gun in his hand, you probably shouldn't think it's funny. She laughed, of course.

His dad was there the night they gave the award to him, and said he was SO proud. I guess, of all the camp awards, shooting is a big one. Not everybody gets to handle the guns, you have to pay extra for the privelege, and they stand over you. Those are good things, I guess--except for the money part.

Anybody else have a son in boy scouts? I want my son to be an Eagle Scout. You know, for years, they didn't accept anyone into the astronaut program unless they were an Eagle Scout. That's changed now, but I thought that was an interesting piece of trivia.

***
Let me apologize for my sketchy postings of late. I can't keep up with my email or writing, or kids, or most of the stuff I have to do and so I had to decide what would get less of my time.

While some would say, how much time does it take to post a little message here, I say...sometimes a lot longer than you'd think. I mean, I TRY to come up with something interesting, or thought provoking, and as you know, I sometimes fail miserably...but every now and then, I'm quite entertaining. (I just get lucky on those days, probably.)

Anyhow, sorry if you're getting bored with this blog because it doesn't have much going on of late.

Do you prefer sexual topics? Or personal? Political and controversial? Spiritual?
Is anybody out there?
***
On one last issue, I am still doing DREAM ACCOUNT type stuff. While I haven't been posting here regularly, I get together with a couple of friends once a week (most weeks) and do some positive dreaming. Mostly, we talk about what we hope for, and what we've received. We talk about ways to bring more good things to us and those we love.

More than anything, gathering with other women who are good friends, to whom you can talk about just about anything with, is very therapeutic. We talk about men a lot, and kids, and life, and writing, and psychic things.

Do you get together regularly with one or more friends like this? Any thoughts on this sort of thing?

Sex. How long is too long?

2008-07-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

We all have thoughts on how long we like sex to take, how long is too long, and how short is too short.

I thought you'd find this study interesting: http://health.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=575218

Heads up to minute men=too short
Heads up to those who take foreplay to the extreme=too long

Anybody care to elaborate on their own preferences?

And...women...do you feel fully satisfied sometimes when your man has fulfilment but you don't get orgasm? Or do you resent the fact that you didn't get it, too?

Any women like a man to suffer through getting her to orgasm and not letting him finish his business.

How many times can you reach a pinnacle of extreme ALMOST orgasm without messing up the big thing when you get it?

Men generally say (polls say, not my personal info here) that they can get close over and over and it doesn't lessen the experience when they finally go over the edge.

But women tend to find the orgasm isn't as intense if they play at the edge too many times. What's your experience? Anybody wanna share?

Are you happy now?

2008-07-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

I opened an email this morning, you might have seen it already.

Two girlfriends are sitting around, talking about Living Wills. One said, "If I ever get into a vegetative state, living off a machine, and depending on fluids, just unplug me."

So, the other girl gets up, unplugs the computer, throws out the wine, and the first girl says, "You're such a bitch."

I wonder who wrote that originally. I wish people would keep the author's name when they cut and paste quotes or stories or poems.

I'm in physical therapy now, for my back and fibro and nerve problems. They have me playing with balls. Sitting on them. Holding them. Stretching with them. It feels a little silly. And worse because I leave there and start hurting within an hour from all the stretching and twisting. Seems really stupid since it's very mild stuff that shouldn't hurt at all.

Seeds and oils

2008-07-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

I've been studying essential oils lately. (I know, my interests are all over the place.)

You know, looking at their healing properties, reading up on what they are supposed to work on. I learned recently that helichrysum is known to heal hearing problems, including deafness from birth. I dunno if it's true but I thought I'd buy some and see if it helps. It's supposed to heal the synapses that are not functioning properly.

I didn't know that essential oils (undiluted, and not the perfume or fragrance dilutions) have an electrical frequency. See: http://www.bethcoleman.net/freq.html

http://www.bliss-parsons.com/view_article.php?art_id=40

Or that there are studies done that show illness happens when our body frequencies drop. So, connecting the dots (that someone else has already connected)--if we use the oils properly, we can raise our own body frequencies and thereby fight of disease and illness.

This principle is why natural foods like lemons, onions, garlic, etc. are known to boost our immune systems.

You probably knew all that, but I am continuously amazed at the miracles in nature, and the healing capabilities of our own bodies' ability to rejuvenate itself, given the right vitamins, minerals, oils, etc.

Here's something you might not know, though... Rose oil, pure, undiluted, rosa damascena (which takes about 10,000 flowers to make a pound of oil) has the highest energy frequency of all oils. And it is the one scent smelled round the world at the sightings of Mary, mother of God.

I dunno what you believe, if you believe in that sort of thing... just repeating what I've heard, and what has been documented.

See: http://redravine.wordpress.com/2008/05/03/virgin-mary-sightings/
http://www.theapocalypsetimes.com/bloggin/labels/Mary.html

Back to the early comments on electrical freqencies--and how changing our body frequency affects our health, I'm reminded of electric shock therapy. (shiver) The concept has merits but the asylums of horror flicks have made the whole lot of procedural processes repugnant.

If you want to get technical about the effects of electrical impulse on health: http://www.freepatentsonline.com/3850161.html (read through the bottom part of the page, it sorta explains how machines of that nature work.)

I think a lot of us have been zapped in small ways by electrical appliances not grounded out properly. I wonder if that burns out the channels it travels or jumps ones that are messed up. Any ideas?

Life never turns out...

2008-07-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

Life never turns out the way you plan it, does it?

Last month, I went to Ohio to Lori Foster's Get Together. That was good, but I ended up leaving early, and having to rush home--not getting to visit some friends in Illinois as planned. I'm looking at the calendar, trying to see when I can reschedule and get up there to chat and hang out for a day or two.

Already this month, I've had family trauma. My second daughter, Savannah, had surgery on Tuesday. That was a long day. She's fine. It was "only a gall bladder removal." But, to those who would say "only", I say...lots of people actually die during that surgery or from complications.

Take a look at these stats from http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/g/gallblad/stats.htm:

Incidence Rate: approx 1 in 438 or 0.23% or 620,031 people in USA

Incidence extrapolations for USA for Gall bladder conditions: 620,031 per year, 51,669 per month, 11,923 per week, 1,698 per day, 70 per hour, 1 per minute, 0 per second.

Deaths from Gall bladder conditions: 2,830 deaths reported in USA 1999 for cholelithiasis and other gall bladder conditions.

Death rate extrapolations for USA for Gall bladder conditions: 2,830 per year, 235 per month, 54 per week, 7 per day.

There are a lot more stats on that web page. Check it out.

So, anyhow, I've been really busy with life and family. What have you been up to?

Whatcha up to?

2008-06-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a BIAW project--a book in a week. I have it up to 213 pages and am actually really working on the second week of keying in on it now. So, overall the writing's gone well for the month of May. Sorry that it translates to not much time to blog or answer email.

I had a surprise visit from a friend this last weekend (Thursday thru Monday). While I was pleased to see her, and we had a great time taking in a few shows in Branson, that (unexpected type of intrusion) totally cuts into the writing, especially when I'm on a real roll. It's so hard to get my head back into a manuscript when I can't get to it for several days.

I find myself re-reading too much, and then editing and re-editing--which is totally against the concept of writing a book straight through, saving the edits for later (as BIAW and BIAM are set up.)

I wish I could focus on other projects like my alien and sf manuscripts, or the sequels to some of my other existing books. Gotta finish up some werewolf things, and complete that one I started a couple weeks ago--the Romanian one I mentioned to you. But I can't turn interest in this one on, or that one off, with a snap of my fingers. I wish I could.

I've also been watching SNAPPED, a half hour show that goes over murders committed by women. I am planning on writing more mysteries. (As you know, I have just released the paranormal mystery anthology DEADKNOTS with CJ Winters and I am awaiting the release of a mystery anthology containing only my stories, called Despicado.) Soon, I hope, you will also see Four Dead, a romantic mystery that will be published under my real name by Mojocastle Press. There's a lot of sexual tension in it, so I'm sure you'll enjoy that.

I really want to have books in all genres before I die, or am done writing. You know, if I just up and quit some day or something. Can't do that until I write all my sequels.

In traveling news, I'm going up to Ohio for the weekend, leaving tomorrow. Wow, that came up on me in a big hurry. Lori Foster (national best selling author) is having a get together. You can google it and read about it, and/or go! I'd love to see you there.

Originally, I was planning on going and swinging into friend's houses in Ohio (you know who you are) and Indiana (where I grew up) but then I had a friend who said she wanted to go, and could't leave until Friday morning and needed to be back by Sunday night. That would make the traveling pretty intense, a dead run for the event and back, since she works and that controls when she can go places and when she has to be back. I was stressing over doing that. With all my little issues, I need to stop for the ladies' room and to walk and stretch pretty often.

My husband's schedule got shifted to four ten hour days instead of five eight hour shifts. So, he said he could drive me/us. He agrees that we need to do some of the driving on Thursday so I'll be there on time, and fresh for the company I'm going to be keeping, which includes everybody from big name authors and small ones (like me!) to fans/readers and editors and agents.

My friend's boss has kept her on edge about whether or not she'd let her off on Thursday. She works nights at a local hotel. And now, it looks like she might not be able to go. So, the fact that my husband is willing to drive me is very nice...even if it means I won't be able to make the social pitstops I would do if I drove alone.

So, here's my public apology to anyone who hoped I'd come and stay at their house. I may be able to visit late tomorrow night or early Friday, but it wouldn't be more than a short deal. I have to be in West Chester, Ohio by 4 or 5 Friday.

If you're between Branson and there and would like me to swing in to see you, email me and let me know that you'll be free and send me your phone number. We can see if getting together, even for a soda or something, is doable.

But don't get depressed over it if I can't come this week. There will always be another day/week/weekend.

What else can I tell you? I've been added to the programming for Armadillocon. (August 15-17) So, plan on being there!

DREAM ACCOUNT: I think I want to take my dream money for the day and buy pilot lessons for me, and my whole family, and then take the rest of the cash to buy a small plane. Or make a down payment on one. Come to think of it, it would have to be a downpayment. I gotta get a plane big enough to haul my five kids, their sweethearts, and a few kids. Just count my dream money for the whole week in on that.

Having my own plane would sure take care of my driving issues and worrying about getting places on time. Don't you think?

Do you have a pilot's license? Do you wish you had one? Do you own a plane? I hear that every plane's engine has to be completely dissembled and inspected at least once a year, or every so many miles. Can't remember how many miles that is. Do you know?

It's weird, but silly little things like that will drive me crazy some days when I can't remember the answer.

Hmphff.

Help!?

2008-05-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

I've got a stupid virus in my computer. (Yep, again.) It's affecting my mouse. I know I need to dump my ie files but don't know how to manage that without a working mouse. Any ideas? Or anybody know what else I can do to get this problem fixed?

I'm using a different computer today just to post this. (But this is why I'm not doing a lot of posting these days. It's too hard!) And, if you've emailed me and I haven't responded, that's why. It's such a pain without a working mouse. I assume I have a virus in the inbox that came attached to an email, too. I figured that out when I got a message saying MY message could not be delivered after 4 hrs--and it wasn't anything I had sent, but an email with a dat file attached. Those are never good, are they? Those and att files. You see those on an email, do NOT click on the pic or email.

I wonder...what sick little mind came up with the virus/worm stuff that messes up home pc's? I mean...apply your puppy brain to a way to hack into the credit company computers to wipe out debts or something. Do something good with that talent. Shut down communist and socialist computers on the other side of the world. But leave us regular folks out of your demented little plan to screw up the world.

You'd think these sort of things would be caught going out through a server, and the originting perpetrators would be stopped.

***
In my Dream Account, I'm on day 145 of this year, so I'm depositing $145,000 dream dollars. I'm gonna spend it all on furniture. I'm gonna invest in many antiques, and if I have to, I'll use part of the cash to fly to Christie's or Sotheby's to spend that money. Surely, if I search the country for things I like, I can spend that sort of cash in no time flat. I'm gonna get a cool real crystal chandelier. (I'll obviously spend tomorrow's money in prepaying a maid to clean the thing, but hey, when you're working with dream cash, you can afford anything. It just keeps rolling in.)

What would you spend $145k on?

Can you break a penis? TMI post Graphic Sex Warning

2008-05-21T04:56:00.000-07:00

I have to tell you that my friends and I had dinner together yesterday and one brought up the idea that men can break their penises. I was horrified and had never heard of that before. She helped us visualize it by crooking her pointer finger. One of the other girls there said, "Oh, yeah. It's a breaking of the blood vessels."

I had to come home and hit the internet. YAY for youtube. Go there and type in CAN YOU BREAK YOUR PENIS? It is a medical explanation of the deal. Then, if you want some bad, stupid entertainment, check out some of the other videos that come up.

It usually happens when the woman is on top, and actually occurs to about 10,000 men a year. I was horrified. It's one thing to Lorena Bobbitt a guy because he's a jerk but how awful would it be to be responsible for breaking your man's most favored appendage?

If you surf youtube, you can see a couple talking about how it happened to them while her guy was on top. Guess he was slamming too hard and missed. (Yeah, OUCH.)

Another guy did it while masturbating with two metal ring things on. They slid together and pinched the blood vessel, popping it.

But the most common way is a woman on top, leaning back, usually with her hands on the guy's knees, sliding up and down, but it occurs when she leans hard while it is half in.

Did you know all this?

Dream Account: This is the 141st day so my dream deposit is $141,000. I think I'd like to send it to little children in America. Maybe set up a fund for special needs in middle class American families whose parents pay all the taxes in this country and then they can't afford more than to get by, so their kids take lunches to school and miss out on activities and field trips that cost. Obviously, the money wouldn't go far so I'd just have to set it up locally at first and be the one to approve expenditures on an independent case by case. But I wouldn't make it embarrassing for people. Or maybe I'd just sponsor things at my local schools where kids would have otherwise had to come up with cash. With five kids, I can swear to you that they absolutely nickel and dime us to death.

Did you know that in most schools in America now, your daughter can't be a cheerleader or play on a sports team if you can't afford to pay for the outfits or warmups? And new matching tennis shoes in an overpriced brand, too.

And wood shop and basic mechanics costs now. My son said his wood shop bill started at $50, but I can make payments on the rest. I, of course, said HM, I'll MAYBE make payments on the whole thing, a dollar at a time, or five maybe.

I almost never had the money the kids needed at the time they showed up and said they had to have it that week OR ELSE.

And I don't think I'm alone on that. But then, maybe everyone else is independently wealthy and I'm just the only one on the outside of all affluence.

Home and working.

2008-05-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

Hi, my friends.

I'm home again, done gallivanting for a few weeks, and trying to buckle down. Spent the last 4 hrs doing my emails and gave up with way too many still untouched. (Sorry if yours is one of them.)

What news do I have? Three different books have been released in the last month or two. I think I already mentioned the Carys Weldon science fiction title Angel B.E.T., and the Jennifer DiCamillo (with CJ Winters) paranormal mystery anthology, DEADKNOTS.

Most recently, though, I saw the release of JOURNAL JUMPSTART, another Jennifer DiCamillo title. It's so new, it hasn't even been added to the publisher's website. It's in a workbook size and will help you quite a bit if you're a writer (since it has writing exercises) and is especially geared for those who'd like to get their memoirs together, or start a journal.

Keep an eye out at:
http://www.awoc.com and feel free to email the publisher and ask when it will be added, or available for purchase.

At the moment, I feel a little stymied by all the projects I need to work on, and can't think of anything "good" to tell you about on a personal level. Meaning...good enough to interest you. My life is suddenly ultra-boring to me. And my storytelling tales seem like too much drama and trauma to go on about. Nothing life threatening going on, Thank God.

How about you?

And are you still doing the dream account, even if I've been less than perfect at posting mine?

Today is the 139th day of the year, so that makes us up to depositing $139k in our dream account. Since the housing market is a buyer's place, I'd buy a house with it. Maybe in Sedona Arizona. I watched a show last night about Crystal Skulls and there are a ton of people who think Sedona is an energy center with healing properties, among other things. I think I'd like to go check that out.

I told my husband that I'd consider buying a house or moving there, just to have time to check it out and he said he'd definitely not want to move there. So, I guess that's it on that subject.

Where would you move if you could?
I know one thing, I wouldn't go to Florida on a permanent basis. Nice place to visit, though.

I am beautiful, no matter what they say.

2008-04-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

I started my day with an early phone call. My husband's vehicle broke down and he needed me to come get him and take him to work. He said it was running fine, but very low on gas. He made it to the gas station, filled it, and then it started up, then puttered as soon as he turned out of the parking lot. He thinks it might have too much air in the line. So, it's now sitting in a Lowe's parking lot in Ozark.

I took him to work, picked up a prescription at my dr's office and came home.

Since I'm leaving again in two days, and will be gone for a few weeks, I thought I'd look in the fridge to see what needed cooked or tossed or whatever. Way too much stuff. I guess my son only ate cereal and soup while I was gone the last time. Even the sandwich deli meats are still sitting...probably on the edge of being bad. I hate to even consider opening the packages to sniff.

Frying bacon. It's outdated but smelled okay. It's today or the trash can. Good thing I like bacon, huh?

I'm going to write today, even if it kills me. Ignore the mounting piles of emails, and the LITERALLY WAIST HIGH laundry pile I came home to.

My second daughter, Savannah, came down while I was at the Romantic Times Convention, and cleaned Cheyenne's room. I understand she tossed a ton of clothes in the trash. I don't even want to look.

I'm going to stop buying my girls clothes altogether. I don't think they value them. One year for Christmas, I spent $400 a piece on clothes, and left the tags on so they could exchange them if they wanted to, and mostly so they could see the value. (Yeah, do the math. THIS IS WHY I'M IN THE POOR HOUSE. I've been too generous.) But...can you guess this? Two of them said they gave most of them away with the tags still hanging on. So, that sort of ruined that fun little shopping thing I used to do. My husband put his foot down.

Although I still buy them things here and there. Too much, it seems.

I don't know why I'm thinking about that except for the fact that I did laundry all day yesterday and already have a load in this morning. And I'm sniffly over the fact that my kids are growing up, moving out, not talking to me as much as they used to.

I miss them. I miss their company, their jokes, and their laughter. Their stories of every day traumas and dramas at school and work.

Is it a mistake to spend twenty some years doing nothing but living for your kids? And is there a way to deal with the fact that they move on and don't even seem to look back, except maybe to criticize?

No. Nobody's criticized me lately. I hung up on the last two that did call for that purpose, and they haven't forgiven me for it, I guess. Never mind the fact that they weren't being very nice to me.

God, sometimes I wished I'd died on that operating table. What IS my purpose on this planet?

Do you ask yourself the same thing? I mean, there has to be a reason we are here.

I don't think it is so we can suffer. When I do my motivational speaking, I feel great, I feel like that's what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I need to perk up my spirit here.

I'm playing that Christina Aguilara song again (I AM BEAUTIFUL). Always makes me think of a day I yelled at my third daughter, Miranda. She went into the bedroom and played it over and over again, and both of us cried through the whole day.

Crying again. Damn. I need to get over my kids and myself. I wonder if I wrote a women's fiction type of novel about a mother...if that would help me work through the residual issues I have. I mean, on one hand, I look at my kids and see how wonderful they are. And on the other, I see that they don't seem to notice that their dad and I are people who suffer from the way they deal with us.

On the women's fiction issue...I met Britta Coleman this weekend. She wrote a book called Potter Springs that has won a bunch of awards. It's about a woman that runs away from her kids, and what her husband does to get her back. If you're looking for a read this week, you might look for it. She was a wonderful, positive speaker.

I'm guessing her book is of the same ilk as she presents. Maybe I should have bought it?

Anyhow, that's how my day is going. Now, tell me something good about yours.
*hugs*
Jennifer

Bernie also met another of her favorite authors!

2008-04-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

Read the whole story here:
http://www.publishersweekly.com/blog/880000288/post/1000025100.html?
See Kay in the picture beside Bernie?

You can read Kay and Bernie's comments on this blog, and see how they rose to fame. Isn't that fun? Why don't more of you plan on coming to RT to meet your favorite authors and hang out with Carys.

Bev (writer of the blog featured at the link above) sat with Carys, Kay and Bernie (Brenda) for a dinner at RT. So did the new Mr. Romance--before he
won.

If you have a pic of the new Mr. Romance, feel free to post that here.

FABIO WAS AT RT 2008

2008-04-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

Bernie got hugged by Fabio! Doesn't he look great in his jeans?

I'm back AGAIN

2008-04-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

I'm home again, got in last night. Survived O'Hare, but, as always, ended up walking about forty miles through the place. Inevitably, my first plane arrives at the far end of one concourse, as far from my connection plane as possible.

Oh well. C'est la vie. (That's life.) My life anyway.

I had a small spinal surgery/procedure this morning. A neuroblation. The dr. deadened nerves that have been pinching all the way down into my left leg, numbing my foot. The entire procedure hurt, and I cried--but then we all know I'm a big crybaby and whiner, so what's new? I slept most of the day away when I got home. Hopefully this will keep the pain at bay for 6 months to 2 years--the expected grow back rate falls in that range.

I'm outta here!

2008-04-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm almost ready to turn into a pumpkin. Almost midnight and I have to be up by 4 am and I'm gonna get on a plane and go to hell on earth (O'hare airport/Chicago.) Wish me survival.

I'm thrilled at the idea of seeing some of you again. This will be so much fun, I'm sure.

For the rest of you, I can't promise I'll be able to blog this week. Not taking the laptop. (Just can't make myself lug it through O'Hare.) So, it's public access at the hotel, if any. I dunno if I'll bother standing in line.

I hope the rest of you have a great week.

We had snow flurries (that didn't stick) in Missouri today. It was weird. Looked like mini styrofoam balls.

Oh well.

DREAM ACCOUNT: I'm depositing $102k and I'm gonna hire me a mexican cook, a mexican maid, and gardener for that new mexican getaway. And I'm gonna pay them up front to bring good will. I know what some of you are thinking...that's crazy, but I'm going to turn over a new trusting leaf. Everyone will be wonderful to me. No one will cheat me. It's all good.

Wouldn't that be great if the whole world became like that?

Lightscribe

2008-04-12T15:41:00.000-07:00

I have this new lightscribe dvd that's supposed to etch a picture on the top of the cd. I've been messing with it for an hour or two now trying to figure out how to make it work. Why can't things have the old fashioned buttons that simply say PLAY, STOP, PAUSE, EJECT, FF, and REWIND?

I hate it when electronics are smarter than I am.
Okay, I really think I could figure out anything given enough time...but the point is...it annoys me when something that's supposed to be plug and play turns out to be a pain in the ass to get working.

Is it just me?

Don't have time to chat here because I'm messing with it, hoping to give out some fancy cool cd's to you friends going to RT and NETWO and OWFI. Wish me luck and you'll get something neat. ;) That is, if I can get it to do its dealy-bob.

In the dream account, I've got to put the $101k into that south of the border getaway house I dreamed of yesterday. Gotta make it fancy schmancy. New paint, furniture, etc. Just a modest remodel to make sure it gets the dishwasher and washer and dryer and a/c. Who wants to live without those?

What would you do if you suddenly had $101k?

Romantic Times Convention

2008-04-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'll be heading to the Romantic Times Convention Monday (in Pittsburgh PA). My "costumes" for the evening hooplas are decidedly lame. Just different colored tents. Red for the vampire ball. (Did black the last two years.) Gold for the Hollywood night. Green for the under sea faery ball. But what shoes?

I'm taking a lot of jeans and calling it good in between the tents for dinner.

Meanwhile, I wonder...does anybody care? I just want to be comfortable and sit with friends, and make new ones. And then I wonder...if I'm supposed to be better at costuming because I'm an author...? I used to make costumes for my kids for halloween, but they were much smaller and fabric was much cheaper back then.

Ah well, c'est la vie.

I'm trying to figure out how to get my lotions (full sized bottles) and shampoos transported from MO to PA. If you check bags with those in them, are they okay? Anybody know?

DREAM ACCOUNT: I dream of...drugs. LOL I'd like something to take me away for awhile. I wonder what all you could buy with $101,000? Wait. Perhaps I should buy a small house in South America before I buy some street medications in that amount. Okay...today's dream money's going for a modest little villa down south of the border.

What would you spend that type of money on?

Good intentions and all that--CONTEST WINNER!!

2008-04-10T19:55:00.001-07:00

I had many plans of removing my whole blog, backing the last two year's posts up, and restarting with a fresh feel...but I've gotten sidetracked.

Too much going on, I guess. But I don't want to lose any of you.

Chris won the drawing I promised. (LRobe) You know, the one with all the blog posters in it for March. Please email me at jennifer248@centurytel.net and I'll give you your options for gift certificates.

I gotta be honest, I was surprised Bernie, Kay or Jenn didn't get it since they post more than anybody else. I mean, you'd think the odds are for them. But random drawings are just that, random. Congrats, Chris! Better luck next time to the rest of you.

How about we do another blog posting contest? This time, I'll send draw 9 winners, and each one will get one of my Amazon shorts, my choice. Want to see what else I write, folks? Here's your chance. Just post on the blog and you'll be put in the drawing, once for each post. Ready? Set? GO! (To the end of April.)

IN WEATHER NEWS...
Did you notice the splash of storms across Texas and the midwest, sliding up through Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri? My road is virtually impassable at the moment. My son had to stay home from school (AGAIN!) because the bus couldn't brave the small river running through the hollow and if a bus can't do it, my Impala sure as heck isn't gonna try it. It's pretty incredible to see the road completely washed out with 4 ft deep ruts. I keep wondering if I should break down, get some money together, and try pouring some concrete on the weak spots. The neighbors did, and they've at least kept access into their driveway from washing away. Crazy world, Missouri. Ya just don't see that very often. I wish I knew how to post pics on this thing. (I have to pay my web people any time I post a cover or humorous stuff that inclues a picture.)

DREAM ACCOUNT: I'm gonna deposit a hundred thousand dollars into my dream account today, and then I'm going to spend it all on some seriously awesome vacation for my whole family. That is...if the kids will come. But where? What would be so cool they couldn't turn it down? How about a cruise of the Bahamas? With stops at all the best places.

I'm picturing it now, me, my husband, my son, and all of my girls, and Miranda's husband, Matt, of course. One white skinned bunch playing lobster on a whiter beach. Snorkeling. Drinking Mai Tai's. (Okay, I don't even know what's in one. But it goes with the fantasy.)

Backing up the blog

2008-04-08T16:30:00.001-07:00

Backing up the blog...turns into a much bigger and time consuming job than I anticipated. (Why does that not surprise me?)

I'd like to entertain you with my wit but I am a little short on that this week. Too many irons in the fire, I guess.

I did final edits yesterday and today on my Journal Jumpstart book that will be coming out, hopefully, this month. If you've ever wanted to keep a journal or gather your family memoirs, or if you're a writer looking for some good writing exercises...this book will appeal to you.

It contains stories from my life wedged between the writing exercises. So, my friends and relatives might cringe at the announcement that it is COMING SOON.

I've lost track of my dream account. How many days into the year are we? I'm going to deposit the nice round number of $100,000 since I'm too lazy to count the number of days to multiply by a thousand. Feel free to set me straight. With this happy little bundle of cash, I'm gonna buy a nice piece of land in Arizona. Somewhere where the trees and grass grow, in higher elevation where the sun won't sizzle my skin to death. Anybody know of a nice little town in AZ that would possibly fit my needs? Land today, build a house tomorrow. The nicest thing about dream money is that it keeps on coming and you can have anything you want with it.

What would you do with that much money?

The Write Ingredients

2007-10-18T12:14:00.000-07:00

The Write Ingredients: Recipes from Your Favorite Authors by Lori Foster

Bestselling author Lori Foster and her online readers’ group, has maintained a troop project for the past several years. They have joined forces with over 90 of your favorite authors to compile a book of tasty treats to raise funds for the continued support of America’s Troops.

For more information, visit Lori Foster’s website! www.lorifoster.com and lorifoster.com/community/readergettogthr.htm

Along with Lori Foster and Diane Castell, contributing authors include:
Jim Alexander, Susan Andersen, Liz Andrews, Cynthianna Appel, Becky Barker, Jules Bennett, Lucinda Betts, Toni Blake, Allie Boniface, Denysé Bridger, Gemma Bruce, Jaci Burton, Stella Cameron, Mary Campisi, Tori Carrington, Cindy Carver, Billie Warren Chai, Celine Chatillon, Colleen Collins, Debby Conrad, Jodi Lynn Copeland, Sydney Croft, Cindy Cruciger, Paige Cuccaro, Bianca D’Arc, Gia Dawn, Sylvia Day, Jamie Denton, Danielle Devon, Roseanne Dowell, Christine Feehan, Kate Fellowes, Holly Fitzgerald, Suzanne Forster, Jenny Gardiner, Amber Green, Tilly Greene, Heather Grothaus, Rosey Haggerty, Karen Harper, Ingela F. Hyatt, Larissa Ione, Marcia James, Nicole Jordan, Sylvie Kaye, Susan Kearney, Mia King, Karen Kendall, Susanne Marie Knight, Jayne Ann Krentz, Rosemary Laurey, Kathleen Lawless, Jo Leigh, Toni Leland, Julie Leto, Cathy Liggett, Patricia Lorenz, Larissa Lyons, Allie Mackay, Donna MacMeans, Catherine Mann, Janice Maynard, Cheyenne McCray, Amanda McIntyre, LuAnn McLane, Patrice Michelle, Cindi Myers, Rhonda Nelson, Brenda Novak, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Michelle M. Pillow, Mary Jo Putney, Anne Rainey, Tonya Ramagos, Joanne Rock, Patricia Sargeant, Melissa Schroeder, Shana Schwer, Jill Shalvis, Jennah Sharpe, Suzanne Simmons, Catherine Spaulding, Michele Stegman, Kay Stockham, Karin Tabke, Jean Marie Ward, Ann M. Warner, Nancy Warren, Carys Weldon, Sue-Ellen Welfonder, Diane Whiteside, Lori Wilde, J.C. Wilder, Brenda Williamson, C. J. Winters, Justine Wittich.

Now In PRINT; Order From MBaM!

Buy from Amazon.com

Best Car Commercial Ever

2007-10-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

ANGEL BET

2007-10-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

Dr. D. created a quicker way to die, a small capsule filled with something called Angel Vapor. The company secured her ability to finish her research by putting her under contract for the cy-droid program—which revives the dead, and implants the necessary parts to get the deceased up and running again.

So, DeAnna, a cy-droid human in post third world war America, needs to get control of her remote control. Genius-rated scientist Adrian helps her outsmart NatDef but can he get them out safely?

Excerpt:
Her fingers slid over him, touching every dent, every sculpted muscle on his torso.

It made him shiver. When she trailed a fingertip over his pec, to his nipple, he grabbed a hold of it. She tugged free and before he could stop her, she’d bent toward him and put her mouth over the small nub. And sucked.

Adrian groaned. His hands, of their own accord, wrapped around her. One went to the back of her head and the other dropped to her hip. And that one made the unconscious move of squeezing, drawing her closer.

He couldn’t have said how long they stood there like that before she moved to the other side of his chest and then, eventually, let her lips trail down the line of hair that went from his navel lower. When Anna went to her knees before him, he looked down.

Part of him wanted to tell her to go ahead....

FINALLY! - It's here

2007-10-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

Sumhow, I figgered you'd like this.........

Coming Together: For the Cure

2007-07-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

Coming Together: For the Cure

Add to My Profile

New Covers

2007-07-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

Writing historicals

2007-07-12T06:29:00.003-07:00

I'm working on a historical. Betrayal of the Betrothed. I think I mentioned it before. It's already won an award.

Or, maybe I should have said, I would be writing on it if I didn't have every interruption in the world. Emails galore, phone calls.

And cookies. I'm baking toll house chocolate chip cookies and have to get up every ten minutes. I had the whim last night. I used to bake all the time, but have gotten out of the habit now that three of my five kids are out of the house. The other two, and my husband, won't know how to act when they see these. I made some normal sized ones and then a few palm sized ones. Monster cookies for the monsters. hehehe

I always use real butter and like real vanilla too, so they are pretty tasty.

I'm typing this while being on phone (for 45 minutes now). Someone calling me, wanting to talk about getting Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I don't love those. They have too much icing. Is it politically incorrect to admit I don't like Krispy Kreme doughnuts?

I gotta go get busy. Catch ya later!

Gotta love redneck humor

2007-07-12T06:29:00.002-07:00

Bubba & Earl

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road
drinking a couple of bottles of Miller Lite.

The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
dadgum police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here
beers!"

"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish
drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our
foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?" asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put
labels on each of their foreheads.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Howdy boys, ya'll
been drinkin'?"

"No sir," said Earl while pointing at the Miller Lite labels... "Me
and Bubba's on the Patch."

Writing historical today

2007-07-12T06:29:00.001-07:00

To the tune of Buck Cherry's SORRY over and over again, I'm writing historical romance, circa 1346 France. My hero's sustained a head wound. He's not exactly thinking clear.

Perhaps that's why he's thinking about sex, and regretting that he didn't take the virgin living in his house when he had the chance.

His name is Jean. (Szon) The Marquis Jean Paul Le Chaluner. (Shall-ooh-nay) Doesn't that have a ring to it?

He's thinking about a girl named Lysanne--but that's just because he needs another blow to the head--and to meet Natalia, an Italian beauty that is really gonna make him hurt.

You people are gonna love this story, I think. Twisted affections. Lots of ins and outs. (Three books in this series. Two already started.)

The one I'm writing now is titled Betrayal of the Betrothed and it's already won an award.

What do you like?

2007-07-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

I've had this blog for awhile now and I've gone in spurts (stop thinking about sex for a minute please!) where I talked about sex (okay, go ahead an think about sex, I guess I can't put two sentences together without innuendo or blatancy.)

I've also talked about family drama, given excerpts, talked about what I'm writing on, and doing outside of the professional field. I've given rants on more than one subject and posted about health, diet, and vitamins, etc. And I've posted jokes and pictures that I thought were funny, and given you some links to go check out.

What do you, personally, want to see more of?

How smart is your right foot?

2007-07-10T07:25:00.002-07:00

THE WORLD AND BLOGGER ARE MESSED UP. I CANNOT SEEM TO GET A TITLE TO POST THIS WEEK. TOOK me several times to get a title on this one. Geez.

Jennifer Nipps sent this to me via email. It is too funny. (Yes. We have already determined that I am too easily amused.)

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT???

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon............

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you they will think you are off your tree...) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.!!!!!!!!!

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your buddies to frustrate them too.

Fake Monkey wins talent contest!

2007-07-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

Okay. This is just too funny. Brits Got Talent--and it's a fake monkey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqRd_4wY8hs

We've all wondered what Sam Cowell (spelling?) really likes. Now we know. He thinks monkeys are funny.

This sparked a question from me...goats and monkeys always make people laugh. Any other animals do that for you? My daughter said a Platypus did, just because the name is fun to say. I thought maybe a beaver would make most people laugh--because of the sexual connotations.

And, of course, we have a beaver in our front yard these days. (Yes. Remember, I live in the sticks, a haunted friggin' hollow in the Ozarks.) And it is a big honkin' beaver, too.

GIVING A CAT A BATH..........priceless!!!!!

2007-07-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Cats Love a Good Bath . . . .

I thought you loved me!

You just wait .. I'll get even with you for this....

You said the water was warm!!!!

I don't like you anymore.....

I'm gonna sit here until you get the towel ... now go!

You're squeezing too tight ... look at my eyes ... they say "tilt"!

No, I am NOT your good kitty!

What's wrong with you people? This is cruel....and....WET!

Why can't I get any traction?

I wish I could get on my knees to pray

No, no, no, no! ... I said "NO!"

Books for a buck and ebook reader on sale

2007-06-25T07:31:00.004-07:00

Ever heard of Books for a Buck? If you haven't, you might want to check it out. The first month the book goes up for sale, it is only a dollar. Prices after that are reasonable. I've put the link at the bottom of this post because I think you'll be glad to know about it and purchase there.

The owner/publisher, Rob Preece is a really nice guy. I met him in an elevator in Virginia when I was at Epicon this last March.

Rob posted this announcement of ebook readers on sale on an email loop I'm on, and I thought you'd be interested. How many times can I say on in one paragraph, my friends? Come on. ;)Or should I just say COME. Or GO. Whatever.

Direct quote starts here:

I'm sure many of you guys saw this reported on Mobileread.com or teleread.net, but TigerDirect is offering the Sony Reader for $99. That's a pretty huge markdown from the regular $299 (itself a price reduction from the $350 original price).

I don't know if this means that Sony is cleaning their inventory to get ready for a version 2, but if you've been thinking about getting yourself a new eBook reader, this might be a great time to grab one.

For those who haven't seen this, it's a cute device, a bit smaller than the eBookWise and quite a bit lighter. The electronic ink display seems to have a pretty good contrast (it's black on gray), and battery life is 7,500 page turns (rechargable). That's a lot of books on one charge.

Here's the URL: http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=3205214&CatId=228

Happy 4th of July.

(PS if $99 is too steep, I still like my PalmIIIxe for eBook reading and they're selling them for $29.99).

Rob Preece
Publisher, www.BooksForABuck.com