Carys Weldon Blog
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Chicks for Money
As you may have guessed by now, bits and pieces of music ring through my head all the time. Usually just the best line of a chorus. This morning, the MTV hit of the 80's (mentioned in an earlier post), Drugs for money, chicks for free got turned around in my head. And all I kept hearing was Chicks for money. And my brain put in, sex for free.
But...I don't think sex is ever free. Do you? I mean, we always pay--one way or the other. Usually, emotionally.
Sometimes sex pays us, makes us feel wanted and loved. And sometimes it makes us feel dirty. Now, sometimes we like feeling a little wicked. But what, do you think, is the thing that separates the "feeling dirty in a bad way" from "feeling sexy and wicked in a good way"...?
Obviously, if you do things for your partner because they want you to, but you're just trying to please them, there is some emotion involved in that. We do a lot of things for our partners because we love them and want them to be happy. But there are lines that get crossed, for all of us (probably) where we are torn between the happy "missionary position" that seems like real lovemaking, and the more creative positions that Kama Sutra defines so well.
Which brings me to ask, have you taken a look at the positions book? Holy cow! Cirque de Soleil might have trouble doing some of that stuff.
But then again, trying might be half the fun. What do you think?
Are you bedroom gymnasts at heart or desperately seeking a guy who likes the missionary position and old fashioned lovemaking like the romance books of old picture?
And how do you draw the line on things you don't want to do, without alienating your partner or ruining the good stuff between you?
I try very hard to create female characters with real life dilemmas (even if they're in love with werewolves, vampires, or fairy men). And when I say fairy men, I don't mean homosexuals. I mean, guys with wings.
Have you checked out King of Wands? It's a book I wrote for the Tarot series at Extasy Books. There are two love stories in one. A brother and a sister, both selfish, get some attitude adjustments from fairies. If you're the slightest bit interested in domination, consenting situations, and what makes partners do things they wouldn't normally want to do--you might enjoy KOW.
What I like about it best is that Granden, King of Wands, and his sister Marinda, though beautiful people physically, are not exactly perfect. (Who is?) But they find someone to love them, and in the process of learning how to love someone right, they change some things.
Granden says, at the beginning, that he would never beg a woman for anything. Yeah. Who doesn't know a guy like that? And he thinks that telling a chick what to do--for his pleasure--is all right. Well, in my opinion, I think guys like this need to be taught a few things. I mean, if a guy says he'd never beg, that's the first thing I want him to do. It's some unwritten principle. A challenge or something. Isn't it?
You gotta love Isabelle, the fairy princess who is willing to sacrifice herself to save her people from torture--and ends up getting tortured a little herself. (I think a few women will identify with her, especially mothers). Don't worry, it's consentual--but it is consentual because she allows it.
Let me say this, it isn't a story about victims of abuse, per se. I have those, too. Check out Mira Starks. This one is about giving in because you love someone too much. (I believe you CAN love someone too much, so much that you let yourself get hurt and don't draw the lines. What do you believe?)
And then there's Jadder, King of the Fairies, who loves Marinda with all he has and teaches her, by example, what it is to give everything. The guy knows how to make love, let me tell ya.
The story is really about appreciating the gifts you're given, and being appreciated. I'll try and post an excerpt later, or tomorrow. If anyone's interested, that is.
Posted by CarysWeldonblog ::
6:28 AM ::
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KOW sounds intriguing. Sex is a give and take but when your partner wants more than you are comfortable with and uses emotional blackmail (if you love him, you will do it), it does make things difficult.
I think we all suffer from, and are guilty of, emotional blackmail sometimes.
Love is a hard thing, a tricky line to walk. Especially for women raised Christian. The bible, and church, tells us to obey our fathers and our husbands. And confronted with the bottom line, it's hard to argue against because we get brainwashed by it.
I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying that it puts women in hard spots where we have to choose, sometimes, what we think is best for ourselves, and what we should do to please the men in our lives. And one way or another, we then struggle with guilt.
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