Carys Weldon Blog

Friday, February 27, 2009

Say what? Man dies of overdose from Viagra, but...

Here's a story for ya...

Man dies of an overdose from Viagra because he's an idiot. Er, because he made a bet with two women. I'm sure men everywhere will blame this on the two chicks who bet the guy couldn't satisfy them for half a day.

Apparently, the guy managed to win the bet (12 hours of nonstop screwing?) but, unfortunately, just moments after he passed the happy time limit--and won, get this FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, he keeled over.

The silly thing is probably the part where the reporter mentions that the women think the walnuts and ice cream he ate were partially to blame.

Now, as you probably have figured out by now, I am clueless on a lot of things in this world, and every day is filled with new surprises...but dammit, somebody should've told me walnuts and ice cream are aphrodisiacs. I mean, I've heard about oysters (ick, not my kind of thing) and chocolate (which gets all my rave reviews) but...

Honestly, I am NEVER gonna feel guilty about eating ice cream again. Every spoonful I slide into my sweet little mouth is gonna get an "Mm" and the quiet thought that I am doing my part in gearing up for my next sexual encounter.

It may even be a good way to get our men to hand deliver and spoon feed us. Who knows? may be shocked to hear me say this part...I'm just gonna leave the nuts out of this...this time.

But chocolate and whipped cream and...wait...I'm too old to have a cherry. (Dammit, I knew something was missing in this picture!)

Backin up here a moment (pun intended!)...the guy was a russian. I'm just wondering if anyone of you lurkers can recommend russians personally? Is that too much to ask, or should I just go and put a spoon in my ice cream and leave the world alone...?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 11:44 AM :: 3 Comments:

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I don't know an Russians' just a Pollock.. And they are the very best.
How's it going??? You still need to get on facebook..I spend too much time there now..Hooking up with a lot of friends. Not from my school, I guess most aren't into the Internet thing.
I have been working on a lot of computers. We don't babysit much anymore so it looks like I will be able to spend the whole summer with David which will be just great. I will miss Kay but she can come out and visit me. And bring sophie.


By Blogger Brenda, at 4:33 PM  

I DID make a facebook page the other day, but I don't remember what I made for my login or password. I'm gonna have to play around with it to see if I can figure out what I've done. I usually try to do that thing they say you shouldn't--keep my logins and passwords pretty much the same. I change them from time to time. You know, systematically go through and change them all--in case I gave someone the key to my world...which I sometimes do when I'm needing help.

I wish I was as amazing as you at computers, Brenda.

Hey, gimme an update on Steve. He's doing well?

Ock. I gotta go. I'm treating myself to total stupidity, watching Jerry Springer. Hot Headed Hookers. It's fixin to get nasty here. The pimp is fighting with his best prostitute's brother, who wants her to quit. (Well, okay, it's more of a bitch slap fest than anything else. hehehe It's too funny.)

(Serious face here) But, of course, prostitution isn't funny. It's exploitation of women.

Oh, wait. This is too funny. The pimp and the other brother got peeled apart by the Steve bouncer lookalike. So, now the pimp says, "Man, you need to come work for me. You lookin' good in them tight pants."

It's too funny. The guy says, "Well, maybe I will."

Then Jerry says, "Really? Well, maybe you forgot why you're here. Let's bring your sister out now."

She's wearing one of those in-style micro-mini dresses. I gotta ask...does anybody know how girls manage to wear those without flashing snatch? Or panties, or whatever they've got down there?

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 10:35 AM  

Oh, yeah. Does the campground you go to, where you're the hosts...does it have a tenting area? Give us all directions. (Or you can email me if you don't want to post it here.)

You never know. We might show up and do a marshmallow and weeny roast. Note: I put the marshmallows first!

Ah, man. Now I want to barbecue and it's only 33 degrees here. I wonder if I can talk my son into starting the grill.

We used to have a cool park grill, but it rusted through. We had it 15 years in Nevade and it looked brand new. Barely got it out here and it rotted through the bottom plate. Then we got a propane grill but, hm, not sure what happened to it. Probably the same thing. So, now we've pulled the smoker out of the shed to use it. Already, the bottom smoker pan is rusted through for the rain--because we don't ever put anything away. (Sigh.)

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 10:40 AM  

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What's wrong with this funeral director? Men? Rapists?

I was stricken by a story about a funeral director. You can read it here:

It's about a man who didn't get paid by the family, stored the body for over a year, and then disposed of putting it in one of his hearse's and parking the thing on a lot he owned. It was found about two months after he left it, when the stench had leaked out so bad that people in the area call the police.

Now, we all know dead bodies begin to stink, and you can't get that stink out of, say, a mattress, sofa, car or wherever if it is left there very long. So, the first question I would ask is...why would the guy let a body rot in his OWN hearse. And the second is, why would he park said automobile on his own property?

I know. I know. You thought the first question should be "Why would a funeral director dispose of a body that way?" If anyone should know the best ways to get rid of a body, it would be the F.D., wouldn't it?

I could see a guy not having enough room to store a body forever. Who would want to? But then again, who would want to be a mortician in the first place? (I actually know the answer to that. My uncle was a mortician for awhile. It's a recession free business. Great, too steady job, if you can't get over the creepy parts.)

Apparently there is some form a funeral director can fill out to petition the state/county/whatever to take a body and dispose of remains. It's a standard procedure, I guess, since many people can't afford the costs of body preparation, funeral, grave digging and covering, and plot upkeep afterwards.

Now, this disposal of the body wasn't a hasty thing. The body had been stored for a year or so. Plenty of time to fill out the form, and get the body taken care of by the state. right?

I need to's nice to hear that you don't have to spend a fortune on you or your loved ones demise to see the body cremated or buried. I think that should probably be announced from rooftops. From what I hear, mortuary services are incredibly high. I know, personally, that funeral directors often play the card "This is the last thing you'll do for your loved one."

I think it's criminal to hornswaggle people when they are already struggling with something so personal and heartbreaking as the death of a loved one. I mean, geez, talk about knocking someone when they're down and adding insult to injury by stealing their wallet, too.

It's just comforting to know that our govt, whether state or local, will take care of our deceased loves ones in the event the dead person hasn't made previous arrangements/payments to cover their final resting box and plot. (It's hard to word this in a way not to offend.)

So, stress no more. If you don't want to buy a burial package, Uncle Sam will make sure you get a coffin and a place to park it.

I knew a woman whose adult son (early twenties) died of cancer. She didn't have any money, and the government covered everything. She cried a long time over the paper lining of the casket. She said it was nice, as paper goes, but she felt bad that her son didn't get velvet or silk to lie on for eternity.

I was heartbroken for her. But also thinking, here's a word to the wise...if you need to fall back on the state burial for help, you can church it up by splurging for a couple yards of fabric. I'm sure the funeral home could manage to put it in, and arrange it so the edges were tucked under. But what do I know?

I know I don't have thousands to bury myself just any old day of the year. I'm extra large in size. I wouldn't fit in a standard coffin, probably. So, it would cost more. I say, let the govt dispose of me however they want to.

But I also say, there are two things I'd consider tattooing on my body. A) Do not resuscitate me. And B) All parts of this body are for sale to the highest bidder or black market, negotiate with my husband or children. Let this body not pass in vain. Corneas, sold. Heart, sold. Liver, sold. Kidneys, sold, sold. Research facility? Take the whole thing or whatever's left. Just ante up the cash to the family.

It infuriates me that organs are donated, yet hospitals charge for the organ on the "installation bill."

I say, pack those babies in an ice chest and haul them to a country where there's a store in the city that pays for 'em. (Saw it on the discovery channel or something.) Apparently, some people are only getting $3500 for a kidney. Robbery, don't you think? Especially considering it is a life saver.

But, hey, I'm dead, go get at least that much. Ya know? Or sell it to science study labs. What do I care? I'm out of it.

Why drop the whole carcass in the ground, when you can make a considerable sum? I know it sounds brash and heartless, but it's my body we're talking about. I want my family to have a little something when I'm gone. Since I don't have any things to really pass down, why not give them a cash bonus. I wish there was a place you could go to sign up for organ sales in advance of your death.

My husband has always refused to be an organ donor. He thinks the cut throat (pun, hehe)doctors won't waste a minute in taking you out of this world. He thinks (I think) that some doctors take "finder fees" or harvest bonuses.

Okay, so I'll come clean here. I really AM okay with my family selling my organs. If I knew how to do it in advance, I would take care of it. I don't, though.

And I put organ donor on my driver's license about every other renewal time. I used to think doctors would be more likely to keep you alive, on ventilation or something, until they could find recipients. So, maybe it would buy you time to recover or something.

What do you think?

Do you have plans for your body after you die?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 5:18 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Nobody has plans of dying, I guess. I must be the only one preoccupied with tripping on over to the other side! ;) I guess that's good for all the rest of ya.

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 10:41 AM  

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Testicle Festivals!

Hey, did you know there are testicle festivals?

And, yes, I mean more than one!

From this moment on, when someone says, "Go have a ball," or "I had a ball," I will probably wince.

To think, years ago when I went to the National Rodeo Finals in Las Vegas, Nevada, and saw the bull ball/bladder--a canteen made from a bull's ball sack--I was horrified, even though the sales people insisted that it serves up clean water.

Back to the testicle festivals...I was surprised to hear that people actually congregate to eat them in public places, and they've allowed themselves to be videotaped wile eating them, too. If you'd like to laugh, or groan, or lick your lips over this sort of thing, just youtube or google TESTICLE FESTIVAL. I thought about posting a link or two, but I think you should run a search, so you can laugh over the number of results you get.

So, I guess they are being held all over the world. I saw a video from Alberta, Canada. Another in the UK, and several for places in the USA. And God knows the Chinese eat everything.

When I was a teenager, I had a friend named Margie whose dad owned a sheep ranch. That was the first time I'd ever heard of Rocky Mountain Oysters. She'd been raised on them, and vowed they were good. They smelled good, fried like chicken.

I gotta ask, do you think God just liked that flavor best? I mean, every time you turn around, somebody else is saying "Tastes like chicken."

Anyhow, I told the truth--starving myself this week, so thanks, but no thanks, I'll have to pass. (I was the epitome of the anorexic teen. I went for up to three weeks at a time without eating anything. Just drinking water or tang.)

Now, you might be wondering if I was sitting here, bored, and just came up with the idea to search the internet for something to do with testicles, or maybe some other dangly thing in that vicinity. But no. That is not how I managed to come across the topic, and visuals. (Eeek)

Would you be surprised if I said my husband brought it up? We can also depend on men to inform us of things we probably could have gone a lifetime without knowing. Don't you think?

Well, anyway, he asked me yesterday, "Did you know they have testicle festivals around here?"

I didn't. They have every other kind of festival in the Ozarks. If you can raise it, bake it, eat it, home make it, call it (pigs, hubbies, kids), or race it, (including outhouse races, pigs, and tractors!)there is most likely a festival in the Ozarks to represent it.

And these folks eat everything from possum to squirrel and turtle and frogs and I guess it stands to reason that this area, known for its agricultural roots, would eat 'em up some balls.

It's rocky terrain here, so there is actually more livestock than crops grown here...which may explain why there are multiple testicle festivals in the Ozarks.

Anyhow, I just thought you might need to know about this phenomena. So, now it's time to come clean...have you eaten balls or something else that dangles near them?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 9:44 AM :: 4 Comments:

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I never heard of these. that is so funny

By Blogger Debby, at 5:21 AM  

I have eaten Bull Balls...After the first bite they were great. Don't know if I could do it again..
Had a busy day yesterday. One thing was taking Parker to the Dr, double ear infection. No grandkids today... So it is going to be a laid back day. My back is hurting me today.. I think standing in line for the medicine last night.. Ouch...

By Blogger Brenda, at 8:12 AM  

I love nibbling on hairy balls. (not)
Hey, I've been trying to get in touch with you for a while. Are you going to OWFI this year? Do you have a room yet? Dion and I have one reserved. Want to bunk with us?

miss you much,


By Anonymous vck, at 3:32 AM  

I DO want to go to OWFI. I bumped Tony about it last night. May 1st is his birthday, so I'm pretty sure he'll want...well, use your imagination and (since you're remarkably creative and really have an open mind about sex), you'll probably be pretty close to guessing what he's probably hoping for. I'm having trouble with my email. You can call me at my home number--which is posted all over the internet, thanks to the no privacy it offers.

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 10:48 AM  

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Funny videos!

Hi there. Hope your day is going great.

I've been up since before 6 a.m., but I can't say I've accomplished much.

I have wasted some time watching silly videos. Check out this link to the funniest car commercials.

It's a collection of commercials that runs a little over 7 minutes. I thought the SPORTKA Evil Twin ads were the best. I wonder which ones you'll think are funny.

If you know of some other links to commercials that made you laugh, please post them. I think we can always use something to make us chuckle, or better yet, laugh out loud.

I'm working on science fiction (romance, of course) this morning. So, my heads in the stars. But, my bladder keeps me grounded and running. Tell me, why can you drink a bottle of water (or any fluid) one day, and be able to hold it like a camel, and the next day the same amount has you hot footing it to the toilet every two minutes?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 7:05 AM :: 1 Comments:

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I have wondered the same thing about water...Let me know when you find out the answer.
I gained 1.8 pounds this week but I didn't do anything but sit on my butt and work on computers. So I think that moving a little helps with the weight loss.. Just guessing.
Becca and Rob are living together now. The kids are so happy, Parker was crying when he was telling us he has a family now.. He's only 7..So they had better not screw this up this time.. I doing ok with it, David and Becki are coming around seeing that Parker and Lexi are so happy. David's Mom said she will not come to any family dinners if Becca is there. Becca's Mom isn't taking well either. That is their lost and they are only hurting self, Rob, and the Kids.

By Blogger Brenda, at 8:14 AM  

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Friday, February 13, 2009

Identity theft, telemarketing calls, and Lifelock

Hi! By now, you've probably noted that I've flunked out on all my New Year resolutions. I, apparently, am going to have to work at getting regular at posting to this blog again.

This morning, I turned on the trap. You know, the tv. It's almost always a mistake for me because I don't write fast, or much at all, if I get hung up in a movie or a series like Millionaire Matchmaker or Bad Girls Club. Have you ever watched those? Yesterday, I got snagged into The Real World: Brooklyn. There was a lot of controversy over one of the, um, girls. Apparently she started out as a he and had the determining appendage lopped off three months before the show aired.

So, I turned on the television, and started watching an old Don Knotts classic: How to Kill a Figg, followed by The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. Comedies, of course. Sometimes I just NEED to stare blankly at a screen filled with nonsensical humor.

I really want to watch Bride Wars and Role Models. Have you seen those?

Anyhow, the commercials come all too frequently these days and I was feeling beat up over the whole identity theft thing, and wondering what Lifelock actually does to protect your SS number, and why the heck the government doesn't automatically do it for us. I mean, they issue the number and insist we use it on everything, opening us up for fraud. I am totally disturbed every time I give someone a check and they insist on seeing my driver's license, writing its number and my date of birth. With my signature on the check, and DOB and DL number and phone and address and bank account info...a thief has all they need to steal your identity.

I wrote an article on ID theft that is available for about fifty cents from the Amazon Shorts program. I honestly feel like we are put at risk by the organizations/businesses that insist we give them all our personal information. ID theft is the fastest growing crime in the world, which is pretty scary.

Along with that, I received a phone call this morning. When the caller ID showed up as FFFF, I didn't answer it. I was annoyed, though, because A) It was just after a.m. While I am often up by then, and was up today, I am also an insomniac, and on the few occasions where I am able to sleep in, something like this happens. It's completely annoying. Especially when it is with a company I don't normally do business with, or can't even identify by the caller ID.

So, I got online and typed in the phone number: 616-980-2331. Turns out lots of people are getting calls from this place. It sometimes originates from Feature Films for Family.

Now, I did buy films from them back when I lived in Nevada. They sell only g rated movies, which I liked, especially when I had five kids, all young, and was looking for movies that didn't contain too much objectionable material.

Online, though, I read that the number is being used by another business. Somehow, they've programmed in where the phone rings with the number on the ID but when you hit redial, it goes to another number and company. I have no idea how that can happen. But, it's a sneaky thing.

All this led me to thinking about telemarketing calls. I have kids who work in legitimate call centers. I'm sure we all appreciate the tech support people for our various computers, cell phones, and other gadgets. That's a different thing than the folks trying to scam you into some bargain deal that is NOT a deal.

Like the guy who called me last week to sell me a weekend in Branson. Offered me a $300 package for two nights, three days, plus a show and small meal voucher.

I live fifteen to twenty minutes north of Branson. I don't know if you know this, but there are plenty of hotels in Branson where the rooms are $30 a night for 2 people. And discount show tickets are offered on every corner practically. So, $300 is pretty steep for a weekend in Branson.

Which means, I guess, if you're interested in a weekend in Branson, let me know and I'll run down there and drive through the place, and take names of the hotels with the best deals advertised. The Super 8, by the way, is not a good bet in that town. It's been under poor management and is falling apart. They rented rooms in the summer that had non working a/c, and then got a little nasty when people asked for a room change. Ditto on them not cleaning the rooms well. One of my writing groups used to go there every three months. I swear, and I'm not kidding on this, I was in the same room three months apart and saw some nasty stuff on the same bathroom wall--that had not been cleaned/wiped down in all that time. I simply would not stay there. I feel the same way about the Super 8 closest to the St. Louis Airport...and or the exact same reasons.

Okay, so all this combined to get me thinking about how companies sell our contact information without our permission. There are numerous sites on the web where you can complain. I was honestly wondering if signing up on some of those sites really signed you up on the free information lists.

I registered on the Don't Call List and immediately my number of unsolicited phone calls increased. So, that was a no brainer.

My biggest problem number is supposed to be unlisted but I see it everywhere on the net where you can type in a name to retrieve contact info. EVERYWHERE.

And then, to top all the rest off today, I came across this site:

I just thought you'd be interested in seeing how they go about finding you, even if you're not supposed to be listed. (It's just friggin' annoying, in my opinion.)

Anyhow, thought you might care to read it. Please, by all means, share your thoughts on these topics and your experiences. I'd like to know if I'm alone in being perturbed about all this, or not.

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 6:38 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Thanks for the information. I got rid of my land line awhile back so it has been really nice not having solicitors calling me.
My neighbors had their identy stolen and they have gone through so much trying to get their good name back. Anything one can do to prevent this is helpful
Here in Arizona we have alot of fake ideas and use of someone else's social security number by illegal aliens. It is really a big bad problem
Hope you have a nice Valentine's Day. I have asked for a gift certificate to a bookstore instead of the usual roses. I like flowers but a book lasts so much longer
JWIsley AT

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:09 PM  

We still get a few phone calls although we are on the no call list. David is always telling them so and they tell him it doesn't mean us. He then replies it does to me and hangs up on them. One time a man called and David said "Are the man who is messing around with my wife?" They hung up that time. It was so funny.

You have to get a face book page. I am having so much fun. Although, you would be on the computer all the time and wouldn't get writing done.
I watch Foxnews while I am working on computers because the TV will call me and make me watch tv shows instead of working. But I am getting so tired of all the bad news.
Becca moved back in with Rob. The kids are excited, they say they have a family now. It makes me so sad for them. I hope it lasts.
Thinking postive, it will last......
Later, have a good day tomorrow.

By Blogger Brenda, at 6:57 PM  

We babysat the grandkids today since the other grandmother said she wasn't babysitting the kids anymore. I guess she thought that would stop Becca and Rob from getting back together.
Becca is home now so I am backing up David's computer and going to put in a put in a bigger hard drive.
I am really into face book.
Have a great day..You are loved.

By Blogger Brenda, at 5:46 PM  

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