Carys Weldon Blog

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Just a quick recap:
I was a virgin. I used 69 in a rhyme. Ted saw it. He spread the word. I didn’t have a clue what 69 referred to. How to go from virgin to slut in 24 hrs or less—just write a nasty poem. It doesn’t even have to be nasty. Just have one bad line. People will think all sorts of things.

Angie, my good friend, called Mary, school slut, for advice on how to keep my rep from becoming totally soiled. Mary rescued my sorry little self by turning this back on the guy who had been reading my personal notes in the first place. (How the bad line of poetry got spread around.) She let it be known that I was playing a joke on him because I knew he was invading my private works and space. So, the next time I saw Ted after he got WORD…

Ted caught me at my locker. Leans into it like he’s homesteading. Since I had a crush, I wasn’t moving away from the close proximity. I wasn’t sure what his attitude toward me was, at that point. After all, he’d been kind’ve kicked to the curb a bit by the chicks from higher up (seniors).

I was nervous. He was awkwardly gawky, if ya know what I mean. He wanted to say something but finding the right approach to bring up the whole ’69 is fine poetry line thing…well, how to do that when you find out that the girl really is a virgin?

So, Mr. Cool says, “Hey. Remember that poem you wrote yesterday?”

Would I ever forget it? No. I don’t think so.

I said, “Yeah.” Pulling books out of the upper part of my locker—and putting them back in—just to prolong standing there. I glanced over at him while my arm was in the air, shoving something.

Eye contact. Mr. Cool had cool blue eyes and one of those smirky grins that play around the corners of his lips. I was totally into that.

Like we have a secret, he says, “I can show you ’69 if you want.”

Hopeful? Doing me a favor, or what?

“Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

He was gone in a heartbeat. I was confused. I went to Angie and asked, “What should I do?”

“Do you want to do that with him?”

“Not really.” I had no idea what it was, except in virginal terms I knew it was putting my mouth in a potty spot. Yes. Yes. I’ve been educated since.

“So, if he has the guts to bring it up again, just shrug like you thought about it and he isn’t the one you’d do it with. And if he pushes you on it, say, look, I thought about it and it’s a no. Thanks but no thanks.”

My personal guide to dealing with guys. Doesn’t everybody need one of those?

Ted never asked me again. But, sometimes he watched me with that smirk-- just to let me know he was thinking about it all again. And that was how he made sure I was thinking about it, too. Only guys and girls don't think the same.

I wasn’t picturing him naked like he probably was doing me. First of all, my mind wasn't filled with nude men pics like it is now. It was limited to changing diaper type knowledge. Not the same at all, is it?

And I wasn’t picturing us doing a 69 either. Nope. I was remembering back to the moment right before he saw what I’d written on that paper…to how I smiled to myself and said, “Yeah, that works good there.”

I erased that line at home in the privacy of my bedroom, came up with a better line, then threw it away. Sometimes I think we need to do that, to get through issues. Write them down, get it all out, then throw that words away. Move on.

Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 7:03 PM :: 0 Comments:

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