Monday, March 20, 2006
MUFF DIVINGSo, in keeping with my flashback to my teen years, let me say that I was the original virgin—right there with Mary, almost. I might have been looking for a kiss around every corner, but I had a virgin brain and the lack of experience to back it up.
I had the fortune, or misfortune as it were, to move to a new town when I was sixteen. I fell in with the cool kids a year older than me. Yeah, there’s a dream. Or is that a parent’s nightmare?
But I was a good girl and could be counted on to be responsible. That was in the days before designated drivers became popular. I don’t know what my parents were thinking, they let me go with this group of (wild) girls to stay in Vegas for the night. Which is where we hooked up with some guys from our high school at an inner city party.
We waltzed in—like they were old regulars. They planted me on the couch in the living room, a tight little dark space, really. They went looking for drinks, when they came back with beers in hand, offering, I passed.
I told you…I was good.
No. Yes. Whatever. Truth was…I couldn’t have swallowed to save my life. To some DOORS tune, I sat on the sofa with this guy I had never met before nodding his head at me, saying, “That’s cool. You’re with Rhonda? She’s in, man.”
Well, she was actually out—on the back porch popping Quaaludes. Checking up on her on again off again boyfriend Dominic.
This guy, whose name I can’t remember for the life of me, says, “You know what my favorite hobby is?”
Of course, my answer was, “No. What?”
“Muff diving. Ya like that?”
“Um, sure.” I had no idea what he was talking about.
He was talking dirty to me and I was clueless. Geez, that was one of the longest conversations of my life. I pretended like I knew what it was, and was interested, which fed his little fantasy, I guess.
Funny how sexual memories pop up. He was totally “jonesing” and one of the girls, when she dragged me out of there, asked, “What were you doing, hoping he’d jump you, because he was close.”
Over my shoulder, as she pulled me to the car, I kept asking, “No. Why? What are you talking about?”
So, my husband—years later—explained the ins and outs of muff diving to me. Er, demonstrated. And even though I’ll never see that guy from the party again, I got embarrassed. Ever have a “stupido revelation” like that which made you blush even though years were gone by?
Yeah, well, I have a ton of them. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you another one.
3 Comments:
You were a very naive teenager. I know I' older than you and I know what "muff diving" was when I was in eighth grade.
Carys, I think too we remember those embarrasing moments more than anything else in our teenage years. I was alot like you, I was naive and my parents were very strick and I couldn't even date until I was 18! I think that was a part of it and that I really didn't understand about relationships and dating not having much communicated to me. I remember my first boyfriend at 19 visiting my house after class and then and its like 'I don't like this kissing' how do I say I don't know how, at the same time its like I don't want to be embarrassed so I remember finally saying 'you gotta leave my mom will be home' and after that I was totally ignoring him in school telling him I wouldn't be at home etc. He wasn't pushy or anything, it was me just being so inexperienced even with kissing, that it felt so wrong. See I remember those embarrasing moments too!
Cathie
PS Every time I come to your blog I'm chatting away here, LOL. You have great topics!
I'm sure I'm guilty of quite a few but my memory is kinder to me as I can't recall any specific examples now. LOL
