Carys Weldon Blog
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Leaving on a Jet PlaceI'm going to Epicon tomorrow. I have to be at the airport at 5 a.m. to catch a 6 a.m. flight. Please wish me NO SNOW--through Chicago (O'hare IS hell on earth without snow, ya know) and Virginia Beach. Someone on the Epicon social loop said they are expecting snow down there. I say NIX NIX NIX that idea, pronto.
I sincerely hope that I'll be able to come home and get writing on Monday, and maybe do a whole novel next week. (Lofty dreams, but hey, if you don't have dreams...?)
I went through another edit on my sexy poetry book Caresses Well Done and so that is getting closer and closer to being available. Some of that poetry is really great. And others...I just laugh and roll my eyes and think, "What was I thinking?"
You'll have to pick it up and read my fantasies about Antonio Banderas, Nicolas Cage, and Brad Pitt. (Truly laughable.)
I got this next thing from my friend (a writer named Dion) and thought this might make you laugh:
30 THINGS STRESSED WOMEN MAY SAY AT WORK
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap.
You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you
haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no
23. Well, today was a total waste of make up
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes...Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?
2 Comments:
Oh geez, I can relate to far too many of those. #s 2, 4, 8, 11, 18, 23, and especially 30 (especially in regards to transcription stuff. Ugh).
Have fun at Epicon. :)
I think I've lived every one of those. Makes me all the more thankful I work at home now. (There are advantages to being unemployed.)
By 
Emma Keigh, at
8:49 PM
