Carys Weldon Blog

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Big Beautiful Breakfast

What do writers eat for breakfast?
I dunno about the others, but here's a peek into my world:

Some days...ice cream. (Usually Rocky Road)
Some days...steak. (Ribeye, Sirloin)
Some days...Grape Nuts.
Some days...(most days)...nothing.

Today? A pile of vitamins, minerals and diet pills.

I found the Olay Vitamins on sale, so I'm doing those this week.

I'm trying Suvaril (diet vitamin pill thingy that doesn't work for weight loss, but I bought it, it's a vitamin, so I'm taking it still. I repeat, does not work for weight loss, do not waste your money on it.)

Ah, I'm taking Leptopril and Zenemex. Not losing weight--but they contain hoodia which binds foods, and that may turn out good in the long run. Give me more energy, too.

Taking Carotene--hoping it and the other minerals (zinc, copper, magnesium, potassium--from the other blends) will help stop my hair from coming in gray.
I have a friend, once, who took so much that her gray hair turned orange, but then, so did her skin. Too much of that stuff is NOT good. NG. NG. Warning Will Robinson.

There's another multi-vitamin I'm taking (called LOVE ENHANCER--we'll see about that!) and a B booster. Gotta have the B to straighten out my attitude! (Supposed to work on mood swings. We'll see about that!)

I also take Colloidal Minerals in liquid form--randomly. Nasty taste, good for ya, though.

And I've had some dry skin, so I'm taking (I know this will sound even crazier than the mess above--a tablespoon of extra light olive oil.) In only a few days, my skin is much better than it was. Learned that on an Atkins Loop--which is the only diet I've ever lost weight on. Lost 60 pounds in four months--felt great.

Oh yeah...and I tamp all that down with some antacids.

But then I made this deal with myself, that I could have a treat/cake/ice cream/bread/potato when I won an award, or went to a writer's banquet or got a contract. Well, over 80 writing awards later, and 20+ book contracts, plus numerous other things being published under different names in different genres...I don't go long without a treat. Think I should change my reward program? LOL

I'm not gaining weight (Thank God!) but I'm not losing any, either.

As you can see, I am looking for weight loss/health supplements all the time. Ask me, if you are wondering about a specific one. I've probably tried them all.

Zantrex? (The one Brittany Spears takes? Nix. No help. Waste of money.)
Name one. Let's see if I've tried it.
Or tell us what you've tried that did or did not work.

And please...don't tell me to exercise more and eat less. I have a bad back, flat feet, and a bad bladder and a bad colon. Can't do any impact, can't get too far from a bathroom--because I never know when I'll need it.

You know what I want? I want one of those exercise machines that you get strapped into and they do repetitions. You basically lean back and let the machine move you. They created them for accident victims, to help exercise muscles to avoid atrophy. When I get rich, I'm gonna hunt those down and make a spa. And you can come and see how cool it is.

Of course, when I get that rich, I'll seriously consider a tummy tuck, liposuction, apronectomy, and/or whatever else they offer to fix fat people.

Have you had any surgery like that? I used to think...it looks painful, too painful, I'll never do it. But there's a funny thing about being fat...overweight, obese, fluffy, whatever you wanna call it...I ride a rollercoaster between giving up and being desperate.

I have a friend who told me last night over dinner...you seem so confident, people wouldn't know that you care about your weight--because it doesn't seem like an issue.

I cry daily over it. I hate being big. I go (sometimes) weeks without eating. I do not recommend that.

I admire women like Queen Latifah and Maya Angelou--beautiful women that aren't scrawny, but aren't making apologies. I'm grateful to Sir Mixalot for his song "I Like Big Butts" and cheer J-Lo for what she did in getting guys to appreciate big booties.

But mostly, I'm grateful to my good husband for being a butt man. Which makes me think of the term "kissing ass" and wondering...if I'm the only woman in the world that likes it when her man does...?

(Yes, pun intended!)

Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 7:16 AM :: 0 Comments:

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