Tuesday, April 04, 2006
CryingSome days I cry more than others. Sometimes I know why, and sometimes I don't, or I chalk it up to "time of the month" or something.
On those days, I always think "They should invent a pill that makes crying go away." And then I think, "Oh, wait. They do. Prozac, paxil, valium."
Took prozac for a month, but it ate my short term memory--big time. Although, I didn't care at the time. Took me ages to get back what I lost with that. Paxil seemed to help...and ya gotta love Valium.
But I don't take those, at the moment. So, I am a crybaby some days.
I have friends who don't understand why I would cry. They say, "You have a great husband, good kids. He has a job. You have all your books, and writing awards, and you're doing so well. What do you have to cry for?"
Well, I'm here to tell you...everybody cries. Some people do it in the dark. Some do it in the bathroom. Some do it inside. And we all have legitimate reasons. i.e. we feel like crying because, inside us somewhere, we have something to cry about.
That may sound redundant, but think about it. No one should feel worse because they cried over something, but we often do feel worse, maybe embarrassed. Or sad that we've let it out--like it's a big demon or something. Or because we didn't really want others to know we're messed up inside over something. Especially if the something is small, or you can't even put a finger on it.
I hate the double standard that it's okay for women to cry but not for men. Or that a guy has to be gay to cry. But then, I like my husband being a tough guy. It gives me a place to turn when I can't be tough any more. And when he cries, I feel so...helpless, but needed. It's a twisty thing, the way emotions are drawn from us. Not that he's cried to me lately, or anything.
Well, wait. Sometimes he gets on the phone when he's out of town, working, and cries about how he hates that. Okay, he doesn't cry exactly, but you know what I mean.
Which brings me to whining. And makes me think...I should write a werewolf story. When those bitches whine, nobody says, "Hey, could you take it elsewhere?"
Nope. The men line up. They say, "What can we do for you?"
Ya gotta love those weremen. Don't ya?
5 Comments:
I agree with you about how unfair it is that guys don't feel they can cry. We all need to cry once in awhile when everything starts to jus get to us. As for those weremen, we all love the sensitive ones. :-)
By 
, at
7:31 AM
I think that I should join the BBW Club also! I have been married 31 years with three sons in their 20s-but I'm divorcing the abusive .....ahem.....
By , at
5:16 PM
Abuse is a hard thing to live with, but many (most?) people live with it, in one form or another, all the time.
I'm sorry that you had to Marcy.
You're obviously a survivor, with a strong will to get past the bad moments. I admire that.
Sometimes surviving the moment is all we can focus on. But looking ahead, keeping hope, that keeps us going.
*hugs*
Carys
By 
CarysWeldonblog, at
5:35 AM
I've heard it said that if men had to give birth, the human race would've dwindled instead of proliferated.
How many of them would have repeated childbirth after the first one? I mean, really, popping a bowling ball sized head out of...well, you know.
I showed one of my daughters a Lamaze book once when she was seven, with a baby's head crowning. She still swears she's not having kids. That's the one that is getting married.
I'm a big believer in CHOICE being conception or contraception.
By CarysWeldonblog, at
5:49 AM
I have some days of crying too, some know about my health and what I'm going through, so sometimes its like its expected i'd be sad. But I can tell you that it is the hardest thing, the fear, the unknown, and feeling no hope sometimes, those are days I lose it and cry so much that its the only way for me to get it out. So when I have those days I let them go and cry, becuase my hubby will hold me through it, and sometimes he cries with me, but most of the time he's my rock. Then we have those good days that I love to feel the joy and hope that there is many more like them.
