Carys Weldon Blog
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I wonder...do you feel guilty for doing small things that feel good?
I do, and I was wondering if I'm alone. It really doesn't matter what I do--if it feels good, I almost always feel some sort of guilt.
If I spend extra money on myself to get my hair or nails done, I think...I probably shouldn't do this because that money could go to...whatever.
I have been a bbw for fifteen years, and you'd think I'd just get over the fact that I'm fat, but I haven't. Every thing that goes in my mouth, I think...I probably shouldn't eat. Today. At all. Ever. Doesn't matter what it is, fruit, a meal, dessert.
And God forbid I want to take a muscle relaxer, pain killer, or a drink of alcohol.
Even sex, or reading about sex sometimes, makes me think...should I be doing this?
I know there are people out there that look down on all of that stuff, and sometimes I let the world get me down. But, it's not like any of that is hurting anyone.
I'm just wondering if it's just me. Or all women in general. Is it the way we were raised that makes us weigh every pleasure like it's a sin or something to feel guilty over?
When I use my conscious brain, I know that I these things are not wrong. Having a drink with a friend, having sex with my husband--or even thinking about those things--or enjoying re-reading one of my books, they make me feel good. And God knows I need some things to feel good about.
Don't we all?
Please tell me I'm not alone in my need for guilty pleasures.
Posted by CarysWeldonblog ::
7:26 AM ::
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I think you are way too hard on yourself. (g)
However, I do feel a bit guilty when I get my hair done because I LOVE the way this one hairdresser does my hair and he's expensive.
A drink, pain killer, sex or enjoying a good book of any genre?? NO. These are some of the things that make life wonderful. :)
But, if it's any consolation, it's not just you. There are a lot of women who feel guilty over feeling good about things. Unfortunately, people have "taught" them to feel that way.
Oh, I didn't mean to sound like I don't have guilt. Oh, I do-- but unfortunately, I suffer guilt over things I have no control over most of the time. Ridiculous. (g)
Thanks for the support, Rinda. I don't think you came across like you don't have guilt. We all do, don't we?
But...I think you're right. We need to get over it. ;)
I usually only feel guilty over little things like that if they somehow hurt someone else (if somebody had previously mentioned that they wanted that last cookie, I'd feel guilty taking it) or if they get in the way of things I think I should be doing.
But then, particularly with homework these days, there's the question of when small things that feel good (like reading library books) turn into large-scale avoidance of responsibility.
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