Carys Weldon Blog
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Crazy Miss PiggyWhen my aunt Linda passed away, we went to her apartment to help clean it up, and get things packed. I went, specifically, to help my cousins box up her belongings. I didn't want anything. You know how some people go as scavengers after someone dies? That's not me. I just get melancholy and missing the loved one.
Aunt Linda had a big collection of dust collectors. She was into unicorns mostly. (Which I love by the way!)
My mom collects elephants. (I was never really into those.) She says they surrounded themselves with toys and pretty things like that as adults because they were depression kids that never had anything when they were little.
My cousin Tom said we could take a few momentos. I didn't want to carry anything out. My mom insisted that we put things in boxes. And she and my other aunt, and my sister, packed a box for me. I don't know where all that stuff is--but they carried it out to my truck. I brought it home. My kids loved their great Aunt Linda and thought it was like Christmas gifts she'd sent for them.
But, while at her apartment, amidst innumerable statuettes--maybe a thousand, I found a little piggy. Sort of like Miss Piggy, ceramic, in a bikini. She fits in the palm of my hand, and now sits on top of my computer monitor.
Ya gotta admire Miss Piggy. She thinks she's beautiful even when she's brassy and outrageous. I wish I had that sort of personal confidence.
Those of you who've met me probably thought I did. I hate to break it to you...I'm as insecure as the next girl. And my size doesn't help the self-image/ego things at all.
It's funny because I don't judge people by their size, or how they dress. I assume everyone's a friend waiting to realize they're in my friend circle--until proven otherwise. (You know, like when they let me know they don't like me or something.)
Back to my piggy thoughts...I would never be caught dead in a bikini now. But then, when I was anorexically thin, I wouldn't wear one because I thought I was too fat.
Anyhow, I keep my little piggy on the top of my pc monitor and look at her several times a day. Some people laugh when they see her. I don't. I think of my aunt Linda, and wonder what she thought when she first saw it. She wasn't thin, and she was confined to a wheelchair the last years of her life. She was one of those women that got put down a lot.
Did she wish she was Miss Piggy, or admire her? (who knows?)
Aunt Linda loved to color. It seemed infantile (people said that she'd gone senile behind her back.) One time, I asked her why she'd taken up coloring again. She said, (with her head in a book, a crayon going), "When I color, I can pretend I'm happy. I can pretend I'm a little girl and nothing matters but what I'm doing."
I hugged her.
It seemed so sad, so sweet. But now I know what she's talking about. I feel that way when I'm writing a book. I can block out life's troubles, and for a little while, I can color my own world. I can solve somebody's problems, and make them feel happy when it is over.
It's nice to immerse yourself in a book, or a program on tv or a movie and forget about the bills you can't pay, or the weight problem you can't fix, isn't it?
I woke up melancholy today, thinking I'd like to hug the world. You know, make all the sad and lonely women feel better. (Maybe I needed a hug myself?)
When I pulled up my email, I had a note from a friend. She just sent me a sweet little message--not a spammy email thing--just a personal note that said, "I want to get together. I miss spending time with you." It brightened me up, made me feel hugged.
So, here I am, with my little piggy watching me, thinking...how can I give you a hug? I rambled out my little personal story. I tell you real truths about how I'm thinking and feeling. Maybe I shouldn't be so open?
Someone commented on blogs in general the other day to me and asked, "It's all hogwash, right?" I wasn't sure if they'd been to mine or not.
I said, "Some of them are, maybe, but most of them are online journals. The ones I frequent are real, I think."
Maybe I keep it too real. Maybe tomorrow, I'll be in lala land, and take you with me. Another sexy story post? I can write about a woman that just feels loved, even if it's for only a little bit. We could have an Oprah moment.
Isn't that what we are all looking for? That feeling of having someone's arms around us, telling us we're safe (for a moment), that someone else will take care of the things that are making us crazy?
Miss piggy is a little crazy--with her karate chopping Hi-yah's! But can you blame her? She keeps telling people she's beautiful, and expecting that stupid frog prince to notice it and kiss her, but he's a little slow...
So, tomorrow, or the next day, I'll do my version of a frog prince tale or something. Maybe a kick ass fat chick taking what she wants.
Tune back in to see what ridiculous thing I come up with. K?
Now, go ahead...put in your vote...which do you prefer, a happy little feel good tale, a frog prince story, or a kick ass fat chick?
3 Comments:
My comment disappeared. Hmm.
I chose all of the above and thanked you for a lovely post.
Funny enough, I did a post on Kick-Ass heroines today. (g)
By 
Rinda Elliott, at
2:10 PM
Anything but happy-little-feel-good.
Really, the other options provide much more opportunity for humour, and that always leaves me feeling better than anything too sappy.
What about a kick-ass-frog-prince-fat-chick story? lol. I don't know if that makes sense. It just popped to mind.
