Carys Weldon Blog

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Men are saddles (Sex Trivia)

Okay, bear with me. I WILL get to the SUBJECT TITLE of today's post.

I've told you about my goal to write a book in a week that has totally flopped, right? (Yes, I did. Go back and read the posts since last Friday when I made that stupid goal.)

I hate it when I commit to something and then things out of my control cheat me out of my achieving it. Are you a goal setter? If you are, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about here.

So, okay. I'm not gonna get a book written before Saturday morning. (I may still see if I can work ON a book today but I'm not holding my breath on that, even.)

Between computer glitches, unexpected family drop-ins, dealing with court/lawyer issues (I might tell ya about that tomorrow), and judging a couple contests...I have not had time to write like I want to.

Anyhow, I have so many failed goals in my past. And awful New Year's Resolutions that I flunked. And, for years, after years of failure at those resolutions, I made ONE: To not make another resolution. Funny, after I did that, I lost weight, grew my nails out (I'm a biter) and did my make-up and hair every day.

Then, one year, I thought, I've got it pretty together, I think I'll make a real resolution, and then I was right back in the gaining weight, biting nails mentality.

Why am I rattling on about failed goals and resolutions? Because I made a resolution one year that I want to tell you about. It was silly.

I resolved to have sex every single day of the new year. This is back when I was in my twenties. And, before we started this new resolution, I knew for a fact that my husband and I were having sex a whole lot more than all our friends were. I do NOT know what I was trying to prove.

He thought it was a great goal. He admired me for it. He was ready and willing to help me complete this resolution. That may be the first time ever that he was in full support of one of my stupid resolutions/goals.

We were gungho the first day. New Year's Day...just got in from a night on the town...hey, let's start now, it's after midnight.

That was a great start, you know?

And the next morning, we laughingly said, "We should do it in the light of the first day." So, we did.

And that night, he said, "I'm ready to go again, how about you?"

"Oh, okay. But...don't you think we should pace ourselves?"

My husband, philosopher that he is--said, "You will only have the opportunity to do this right now, right now. Once tomorrow comes, this opportunity will be lost." (He uses that on me a lot when he wants to do IT.)

So, we did it again.

By the second morning, I was beginning to wonder if I'd be able to walk at the end of the year if we kept up the pace.

I won't walk you through the whole year, but you can bet I failed at that resolution before it was said and done. Many a time, one of us would say to the other, "Hey, what about that resolution?" And, dummies that we are, we'd give a go at trying to catch up on whatever days we'd missed.

Of course, you can't ever catch up. Not really. That's one of those DUH things. Ya know?

I had one friend in the world that I could talk to about sex back then. When Tony wasn't around, she'd get this stupid grin on her face and ask, "Hey, how's that fucking resolution going?"

We used to ride horses together. All day trail rides and stuff like that. Sometimes our conversations began with, "Well, I sure as hell can't get on a horse today."

Which brings me to a term my brother-in-law used once. Referring to his wife and sex, he said, "With me in the saddle..."

I don't need to finish the sentence. She popped him upside the arm. I felt like she aimed too high or too low, personally. I mean, honestly, what woman wants to be referred to as "the saddle"?

And...if the woman's on top, isn't the guy the saddle?

Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 6:30 AM :: 3 Comments:

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lol sorry but that is the weirdest resolution I've every heard. You were in your twenties right? bet you came close to averaging at least once a day anyway.I know we did until my oldest son was born.

By Blogger Pamk, at 5:00 PM  

Men being men, he probably thought saddle was a kewl description.

By Blogger jennybrat, at 4:46 PM  

We did IT ALOT back then! It is not the only weird resolution I've made. I'm a squirrel, you know.

And my brother-in-law is a dork...which is actually the name of a whale penis, in case you didn't know. He DID think it was a clever way to refer to his wife and sex. Pffft.

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 9:05 AM  

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