Thursday, February 08, 2007
Too Much REAL lifeFirst, last night I broke a nail. Not just any nail. One of those stupid solar nails. On my middle right hand. The thing peeled off and now it hurts like a son of a gun, and the nail is off. So, take a moment to say Eeeewww, that had to hurt, for me, would ya? Still does.
Second, the world in general is conspiring against me writing. I didn't get anything but blog and email done yesterday. And today promises to be as equally unproductive. And I am SO at a place on Candy's Kisses and Levi's Jeans that I don't want to stop...because I'm down there at the end where she has to decide if she can make the leap and move out to his farm. And, to be honest, I'm thinking she's not gonna do it. So, something big has to happen. Levi has to get seriously more persusasive. (Which means a really good part is totally imminent.)
But, honestly, he's asking the girl to take a leap of faith and trust in true love, and love at first sight, when she's only known him for 24 hours. I gotta make it believable for this girl to give up her job and apartment. So, Carys Weldon is stretching into Levi and Candy's heads so she can get the right buttons to make this happen in a way that you love them and me, and don't throw the book at the wall. (Don't worry. I'm good at THIS.)
I'm really just whining about not being able to write it today when it is the only thing I really wanna do.
Last week, I went to a fibromyalgia clinic to learn what I should be doing. I committed to taking a half hour rest/meditation/nap every day. I got one this week. So, I'm a flunker and I haven't read my homework. (Fourteen chapters of a thick, boring book?) Okay, maybe not fourteen. But seems like a lot.
I'm an overachiever so going in there today, knowing I didn't get it done, well, I hate that. Which means I have to get off my computer and go read so I'm not a total loser by the time I get there. (Sigh) How do you like that phrase? So I'm not a TOTAL loser.
AND I'm out of my moodswinger medication. So, if you see more whining or ranting in the future, it's because I didn't get it refilled. Who can afford medicine these days? This prescription is $180 for one month. I refilled my $52 one.
It's hard sometimes to spend that sort of money on myself...even if it makes me more agreeable to the whole dang world. Don't have it today, so what do I care if I'm agreeable?
(hehehe)
I need refill prescription assistance. Somebody to subsidize me. (On just one little prescription.) THAT RUNS MY LIFE.
Or ruins my life if I don't have it.
Somebody else whine about how much their meds cost or something. Whine about anything. Today, I'm with ya, thinking...gimme somebody else's complaint to rally behind. I'm game to pick a fight. (or something)
Okay. Gonna go delete email. Oh, wow. I only have 181 unread in the box at the moment. Light morning.
The world is trying to be nice to me so I can keep things on an even keel, I guess. I AM trying to be a positive thinker. (But I sorta hate it. LOL)
Picturing myself thinner, happier, healthier, wealthier...in the palazzio villa I wanna build on my property here with my navigator (for carting grandkids I'm putting in this pretty picture) and my 300m and uh, the new jag (beside Tony's cherried out 65 mustang, and that lotus he wants to use to take me on dates). I'm standing on the beautiful balcony weighing in at an emaciated 118 lbs in a sleek outfit with my new Ferragamo shoes on, admiring how the sun brings out the rub of the leather. Got some serious music going on my outside speakers, eating strawberries and chocolate for breakfast--because I'm skinny in this future dream and I can do that. Got my chaser rocky road ice cream coming on a platter carried by the maid who smiles at me because she loves me. And I tell her how grateful I am to have her in my life (because she does everything!)
And she says, "The party rsvp's say everyone is coming."
And that means you are all coming to my house for a big serious "let's have fun" event.
I haven't had a dinner party, or any other kind of party in ten years (since I moved here) because I don't have space in this place. But I see us in a palacial castle like deal, enjoying life, loving friends and all the world being good with major influx of cash in my accounts.
Do you ever try to manifest a better destiny? I like to picture myself where I want to be.
Of course, this dream is built on the money from books I sell in New York that go into international sales, even Walmart. LOL
There's a goal, huh? Get my books in Walmart and Barnes and Noble, and Borders and Waldens and Hastings.
Oh, hey. I should probably say, I think I've got a big announcement about another book (contract) coming soon. Something that I haven't even signed contract on yet, but that I'm told may be pushed through for Valentine's Day. How cool is that for a friggin' writer?
Details as soon as the contract comes to my hands. (If it happens.)
Anyhow, gotta go do that mail and read my homework.
Oh, wait. I saw the Illusionist last night. Not a Jessica Biehl fan but love Edward Norton. He can play a wizard or a retarded guy. So versatile. The best moment of the movie was when he walks away from her and I don't know what she says to him (Because I tune her out? Because I'm only really watching him?)--and he turns around and comes back, somewhat frustrated but lays a kiss on her. My heart leaped. Ooooooh heeeellllll yeah. If nothing else, that one moment of the movie is worth watching it for.
The rest of it was okay. But that one second, I said, God, I love that.
Just thought I'd share my thoughts on that one.
Catch ya later.
Oh yeah. I have that Gridiron movie that has to go back today.
So, poor me, gotta watch the Rock while I'm trying to speed read the damn fibro stuff.
Isn't that sad? Wanna bet I don't absorb a lot on the page?
3 Comments:
I've heard The Illusionist is good. To the point that I'd be willing to go to BlockBuster to rent it instead of waiting for it to come out on cable. lol
Speaking of meds, I have one that I really really need to call to get refilled. With my so-called insurance prescription discount, it'll be $198 instead of $210. I know it'd be nice to say "every little bit helps," but that's just a crock of shit in this case.
To go along with the manifesting a different reality/dream, I am SO with you there! *s*
And just so I don't make this a complete downer comment/post, I'm at 13,500 words with "Phillip's Curse" and started chapter 5 this afternoon. :)
Poor Phillip. How much am I going to put that guy through?
Looks like Philip's Curse is coming along. You go, girl!
As for manifesting destiny, I recommend everyone watch THE SECRET over and over again. Let's put the law of attraction to work!
Please meditate, seeing me wealthy, and you at my dinner table, chatting over books and the cruise we're on...sound good?
By 
CarysWeldonblog, at
7:49 AM
Sure. If you do the same for me, too? lol. We gotta both have the good luck mojo/vibes/whatever going on, doncha know? :)
(I'm going to see how much I can do with Phillip before going to the meeting today. Er.... *looks at clock* On second thought, I've got to take a shower first, so that might be a lotta nada. At least until after I get home.)
