Carys Weldon Blog

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Eating Penis, Christmas Contest, and Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

I had a whole post written here and, believe it or not, my dog did not eat it. She erased it, though!

A week ago, I got a 2 1/2 lb yorkie. We call her Pixie. She is tiny. Her paw barely covers my escape key. Her weight is just enough to trigger it, I guess. (No. Not kidding.)

So, I'll try this again.

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving week/weekend/holiday. What were you thankful for? I was grateful that two of my kids were with me, and sad that the other three chose to be elsewhere. But c'est la vie. That's life once kids grow up. Right?

I did a Rachel Ray take, and got some boneless skin-on turkey breasts from my butcher. They cooked in an hour. We had no carcass to pick apart afterwards. So, that was good.

I also tried the Stove Top cranberry turkey stuffing. I also made the regular, which is always good. However, if you ate that AFTER the stuff with cranberry in it, it seemed blah. Who knew a few cranberries could perk up the palate so well?

I'm sure you're more interested in the EATING PENIS topic than a holiday dinner prep.

I have been searching ebay for Christmas gifts that are affordable. When you have five kids, you always need to seek bargains, and I'm not really up to a lot of on-foot walking.

Anyhow, I came across some chinese herbals. Always interested in that sort of thing, and lookin in particular for weight loss help, I read the fine print, and try to discern what ingredients are really supposed to do. I always cross research and double check.

For example, I think I already mentioned that the diabetic (and weight loss help!) drug Metformin is derived from Goat's Rue. And that can be gotten in pure form.

So, I'm reading CODPAWN's items for sale. CODPAWN is a seller on ebay. He has a wide variety of chinese herbal products from an acupuncture store going out of business.

I emailed to ask what each of his items were for. The reply? Mostly weight loss.

I, of course, know the one called alopecia is for hair loss.

The most intriguing of all, I suppose, is a listing that includes BULL OF PENIS. To see it for yourself, just go to ebay and type in: 13 BOTTLES BA ZHEN WAN CHINESE HERABL DIETARY PILLS Item number: 390013489054

This item drove me to my ever faithful search engine. I typed in Bull of penis chinese medicine is good for...

It took me to this site:

Where, apparently, the penis emporium (a restaurant in China) is reviewed. Go ahead, check it out. Be wary. Picture of penis/penises/peni? are displayed. The entire topic is penis. So, if that offends you, don't go. And why are you reading this now?

To my utter surprise, Penis of russian dog is on the menu. So is Tiger penis. And we all know that is illegal. Tigers are endangered everywhere, aren't they?

The reviewer mentions that to the server, who, at the emporium of penises, is referred to as a nutritionist because they are well able to explain the purpose of eating EACH type of penis.

The server, er, nutrionist waiting on the reviewer smiles weakly (I suppose) as she mentions that they, of course, do not hunt the animals and that most of their penis served is from old and already dying livestock.

Yeah, that's a comfort, huh?

I hear women (and a few gay guys) everywhere yelling "Goddammit! We want our penises young and strong and virile and potent!"

After all, what's the point of eating penis if it isn't healthy?

Which is a commentary that all MEN should want to comment on. I say, go ahead. (I know this could degrade quickly. So, should I apologize before it does? Nah?)

Women, I dare you to put this to the men in your life. Take them to the website I've listed. Read aloud the story. Then read this column and ask them to defend the need to eat penis, even if it isn't young and virile and still potent. I'm sure every man out there will have an answer.

Like...semen is all protein, and good for your hair, nails, and skin...whether you rub it on or swallow it. (How many times have I heard that?)

But where is the scientific study on that? Anybody got a website to point us to? One that is NOT a porn site?

I'm all for talking about sex and willing to point you to other websites that do, but not really into aiming you at out and out porn sites.

Anyhow, I obviously need to get to writing while THIS IRON is hot.

I've wasted a lot of time today. I watched the movie version of The Ideal Husband, which is based on an Oscar Wilde play. I've seen it before, but like the ins and outs of his work. Always a good turnabout.

I have a raging headache. Perhaps brought on buy thinking too hard about eating penis so early in the morning.

No. Wait. That probably isn't the cause. ;)

In any case, I shall try to revive this blog with more drivel of the same ilk. I hope you'll tune in, and comment. As this is the beginning of the month we celebrate Christmas, and some celebrate Hannukah and whatever else goes on this time of year, I now open my Christmas Contest. Every comment here, or even via private email to me, will get your name put in the hat. I'll draw one on Christmas Eve, another on Christmas, another on New Year's Eve, and yet another on New Year's Day. FOUR gift certificates will be given out.

Now, say something!

(And have a great day. I swear, share the penis commentary with your romantic interest and you WILL start something that will make the world know, if you were to talk about it.)

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 7:58 AM :: 9 Comments:

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Hi Carys,
Funny you should bring up penises. I saw a special on the Food Network where they served this. I believe it was also in China. It was a smorgaasbord at $500 a plate!
Anyhoo, here in Florida we have Boiled Peanuts. When my mother was telling her sister about these, it sounded like she was saying "oiled penis"! We all cracked right up over this.

By Blogger cherio1, at 10:31 AM  

That's one restaurant I wouldn't want to go to!

By Blogger ikkinlala, at 6:28 PM  

Eating penis,, I couldn’t believe it.. I have heard it all now…I couldn’t do it. I have eaten bull fries.. And they were good.. After you take the first bite and get past the thought of eating bull balls its not so bad.. So I guess eating a penis isn’t much difference???

I have been battling a sore throat, fever, messed up nose and just a I don’t feel good feeling.. I still don’t feel real good yet..

I was ok on Thankgiving and started feeling a little bad on Friday.. Thanksgiving went ok..We had lots of fun with the kids.. The food was food was good. I made it all but dessert. David’s brother Steve didn’t come until late afternoon and we entertained his two families. His daughter came late and when she left she wanted to take some home with her.. What can you say, but I didn’t get unset until later.. When everyone was leaving Steve said when are we having Christmas??? We need to know.. David and I looked at each other and said we don’t know. Rob doesn’t have the kids and Becki is spending the day with her family only this year. Steve said I think we shouldn’t have to adjust our plans for every one… What is the hell is he talking about.. It is our family, house and food , we will do what is best for our family not his…I feel sorry for him but he has been thru 5 wives and sorry his is alone but still he shouldn’t make plans for our house and meal.. I am not mad just a little put out.. I think we are going to have a small meal with Rob, David, me and his mother on Christmas We don’t want to have David’s Mother alone on Christmas. David is going to tell Steve is invited but not his whole family. We would like a nice quiet meal without kids. We will have our Christmas on Friday with our two kids and son in law and 5 grandchildren on the day after Christmas. If he wants to have a family get together with his family he can do it on his own..

I hope you get to go to Rt in Orlando… Remember you can always room with Kay and I. We would love to see you. The convention is in Columbus, Oh in 2010.. Kay said she could drive it from here in Illinois.. I don’t drive much, no one wants me to drive either. I only side wiped the house, backed into a dumpster in the driveway, hit a couple of cars and a light post. So what is the problem, I ask. HAHA!

I will have to tell you about a new game we played with the grandkids on Friday ( no parents)
Throwing empty pepsi cans at each other...

Later, Brenda

By Blogger Brenda, at 6:44 PM  

That man my children call daddy, that's his Indian name, says that semen is a natural antibiotic. So every time I'm sick he shoves that dried up old penis in my face.

That's not fair. It may be getting older but it's still just as pretty as it ever was, and it's like an all day sucker, it last as long as you're willing to lick it.

But that's another story.

I just read an article about pine nuts being a great appetite suppressor. Now I've got pine trees in my front yard and they produce pine cones. But how and when do I harvest the nuts? Exactly what do pine nuts look like?

Coz you know what the nuts I see dangling in front of my face, every time I have a cold, look like. So it's hard for me to distinguish one nut from another these days. (cough, cough)

Any who. Love the old penis jokes and glad to hear you had a good Thanksgiving even if the whole brood wasn't around. I had to work. But Ian lazed around on the couch all day and Myriah came down from
Grove to spend the holiday with her future in-laws, which means she spent most of the time at my house.

Did I tell you I'm gonna be a Grannie? I am. Don't know if I'm ready.

Miss ya, love ya, can't wait to hug ya. Are you coming to OWFI this year? Are you coming anywhere around us between now and then?

Say hi to the Tonys and the girls.


By Anonymous vickey malone kennedy, at 8:52 PM  

Why do Men want sex when we are sick and down???? My husband, David always said you need some of Dr. David's "root injection" to make you feel better..Right!! I never felt better but he did..

By Blogger Brenda, at 11:19 AM  

I don't beleive I will be taking
any of those chinese herbs or eating penis. I don't even eat mountain oysters. Just can't get
past the thought if you know what
I mean. LOL.

By Anonymous Earlene, at 1:53 PM  

You know they say you learn something new every day. I had no idea! lol From "old and already dying livestock", yuk! I think that's something I can live without ever trying.

By Blogger Kammie, at 4:00 PM  

Boiled peanuts and when to eat pine nuts. Too funny, girls!

I actually know about pine nuts because we ate them out in Nevada. We'd go up in winter and pick them. Now, in Missouri, we can buy them at the health food store, but they don't taste as good as the ones you gather yourself. (I dunno why that is.)

Here's a good site for anyone that wants to find, eat, or buy pine nuts:

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 9:30 AM  

I never wanted to eat penis. What woman says she did?

I had a girlfriend in high school whose father ran a sheep ranch and she talked about Rocky Mountain Oysters (sheep balls deep fried), I'm guessing those are like those bull fries Brenda's brought up.

I just gotta say...I think women would have died of starvation before she ate these things. She might have served them up to her family, but...I think a man was curious first and said, "Yeah, that'll probably give me more man power. I'll eat that bull's balls." Or whatever. That IS the traditional thinking over in China.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe some women are just jonesing to try all that.

(giggle) Maybe they all look up from their knees at their beloved "Dr. Husbands" waiting for their root injections, or whatever it's called, and happily except the thing as a gift.

I, personally, think of a woman's efforts from her knees is a gift to the man she "bows before."

I think the problem we have, mostly, is that men don't necessarily appreciate it as such. But what do I know?

And, really, who can keep a man happy?

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 9:38 AM  

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