Carys Weldon Blog

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Size DOES matter

We hear it all the time. Some of us adamantly tell our husbands and boyfriends, "No, it doesn't matter honey. Not at all."

And, in turn, we let them tell us that the size of our boobs and butts don't matter, and we pretend to believe they like us the way we are. (Not that I'm saying any of us lie!)

Most of us just want to avoid conflict. After all, there are some things we just can't fix. Or (plastic surgery as it is these days) can't afford to fix.

But, in some things, size matters so much that we absolutely cannot fidget on the issue. For example, if a man's thingy (you know, hangy down danglies) can't reach your G, it's important. So, someone invented a length enhancing sleeve for him to put on. I dunno if that sort of thing works. Do you? (Please! Please! Do tell if you know!)

In blogs gone by, I've complained about everything like airline seat size to, um, well everything I can think of. And that, simply, is because size DOES matter. It matters most to me because I'm what some folks would describe big and beautiful. Others would just say big. Whatever.

I stepped into an elevator yesterday at my doctor's office and was shocked to find how big it was. There were ten of us in it, and room for another dozen. You know, if the rest were skinny minnies, midgets, and children.

It was a pleasant surprise. As was getting a meal at a fast food joint that turned out to be more than I could eat. I hate leaving a meal while I'm still hungry. Don't you? I always wonder why sometimes I can eat a lot, and other times I can barely get a few bites in. I've been thinking of trying those FULLBARS. They're supposed to make you feel full. Has anyone tried them? Are they good tasting? Do they work? Somebody give'em a shot and get back to me. K?

So, on the bigger and better game, I think a car should have more head room and more leg room. I like big beds but I don't want it so big I can't find the guy I like to cuddle up next to. I like big blankets, but not so much that I lose my little yorkie and can't find her for ten minutes because she's lost under there. (Usually happens when I really gotta go to the bathroom and don't have time to play Marco Polo with her.)

I like bigger shade trees, and smaller roses, but I love big cabbage roses. I love a big steak but am good with a little salad. I love long movies, unless you're talking WaterWorld with Kevin Costner.

I love big books. If it's good, I'm happy to read and read and read. I also like anthologies with little short stories. Like Cup of Comfort for Cat Lovers (See my story Creepy Cat in there!) and Deadknots (Paranormal Mystery Anthology I did with my friend CJ Winters.) My Journal Jumpstart (by Jennifer DiCamillo) has a bunch of little short true stories from my life with short writing exercises.

My werewolf series has short stories and the tales get longer and longer as the series progresses. I figure the deeper in you get, the more you need. Am I wrong in that?

Is that true about sex?

I am currently working through the new lubricants for enhancing female pleasure to see if any of them work. Have you tried any of them? If so, please report! I'll give a blow by blow (giggle!) after I've finished checking them out. So stay tuned.

I think I've bounced off my original topic again. (What's new with that?) I was actually planning on blogging about the size of pens. Art pens and pencils to be exact. I dunno if any of you fancy yourself artists or not, but I found this pen and pencil blog and came to the conclusion that size DOES matter.

You can check it out here:

The blogger says he respects your right to differ about whether size matters or not as long as you respect his right to be an old geezer.

I thought about the term Pencil Dick and decided I needed to pull these thoughts together. Can you think of other terms for male genitalia that are sorta funny?

For the record, I personally eliminate donkey dick. That's not funny. It's scary. How ya gonna bury that? (With lots of pain?)

And, have you heard the latest term REDONKULOUS? Now, what do you think THAT means?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 6:50 AM :: 2 Comments:

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Hello from Illinois,
You must have known I was looking at the fullbars. Sounds good but I haven't tried them. Meanwhile I've put all kinds of yummy goodies in my mouth. Ice cream sundae, cookie, chocolate cake, yep. Miss Piggy has been eating away instead of wasting away. Will let you know if I try the bars. Hugs, Kay

By Blogger Kay, at 8:14 AM  

I went shopping Monday and bought, oh, I dunno...darn near every type of fiber bar or health food bars out there. And let me just say...avoid those oreo ones. I keep thinking they'll be good. I've bought them twice and if it weren't for my teenage son, who took care of them for me, I'd still be staring at the box, minus the bar I took a couple bites out of and couldn't finish.

Now you've made me hungry. You can afford a few desserts. My weight has gone back up to what it was before that last surgery. (bleck)

I'm not getting a lot of comments. I wonder if I ran people off with political discussions. I continually hear people say, "You gotta keep your opinions to yourself, so you don't offend readers."

I certainly don't want to offend anyone. I'd enjoy a lively, well backed debate. You know, if someone wanted to argue one of my points with their own reasoning. Any time, any where. Okay, anywhere as long as we're sitting, and any place as long as its a/c'd in the summer and heated in the winter. (I'm such a baby.)

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 12:40 PM  

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