Carys Weldon Blog

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Phallic Symbols

Everywhere I look, I see phallic symbols. Do you think that says something about me? Am I oversexed, depraved, or in need of something that should not be named? LOL

I have a friend writing a novel about Norsemen. In the first chapter, there is mention of a Maypole. I question his usage and he sends me, of course, to wikipedia's definition. Which uses the term "erected" straight up. And so, I email him back and say, "I stand corrected but I see that it is a phallic symbol now." He says, "You would notice that, wouldn't you?"

Uh, yeah. The whole world is filled with 'em. Tall smoke stacks. Cigarettes, and bigger cigars. Guns. Bigger guns. Hot dogs. Fatter sausage. Batteries, bigger batteries. Hell, even the remote controls you put them in.

Well, I'm here to tell ya, bigger ain't always better. It's not the size, but what a man does with it. Right?

For example, doesn't matter how big the remote is--if it don't work.
Doesn't matter how thick his wallet is--if he ain't sharing.
Doesn't matter how big his hands and feet are, if it ain't representative of all his appendages.
Ball Park size hot dogs with cheese oozing out of them are not necessarily better than a plain polish sausage done right.

See where I'm going here? (Yeah, yeah, right into the gutter I was born in!)
Come with me!
Doesn't matter how pretty his Hummer is if he doesn't get it dirty.
Doesn't matter how big his Durango is if he doesn't take it somewhere cool.

A basketball player doesn't impress me if he can't get it in the hole.
Who wants a tennis player with a good backhand?
Wait. Who needs a tennis player with a good backhand? (Answer: Most men?) Just kidding.

As you can see, I struggle for good metaphors. But I'm always thinking. Help me out here. Can you come up with any?

Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 6:10 AM :: 3 Comments:

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Who needs a baseball player with a big bat if he can't swing.

By Blogger Estella, at 11:38 AM  

Hi Carys! Been a while since I visited. I can't think of any cuz I don't understand them too well but this one probably doesn't help:


By Blogger Caffey, at 8:42 PM  

The baseball metaphor is great!

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 6:45 AM  

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