Carys Weldon Blog

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What's wrong with this funeral director? Men? Rapists?

I was stricken by a story about a funeral director. You can read it here:

It's about a man who didn't get paid by the family, stored the body for over a year, and then disposed of putting it in one of his hearse's and parking the thing on a lot he owned. It was found about two months after he left it, when the stench had leaked out so bad that people in the area call the police.

Now, we all know dead bodies begin to stink, and you can't get that stink out of, say, a mattress, sofa, car or wherever if it is left there very long. So, the first question I would ask is...why would the guy let a body rot in his OWN hearse. And the second is, why would he park said automobile on his own property?

I know. I know. You thought the first question should be "Why would a funeral director dispose of a body that way?" If anyone should know the best ways to get rid of a body, it would be the F.D., wouldn't it?

I could see a guy not having enough room to store a body forever. Who would want to? But then again, who would want to be a mortician in the first place? (I actually know the answer to that. My uncle was a mortician for awhile. It's a recession free business. Great, too steady job, if you can't get over the creepy parts.)

Apparently there is some form a funeral director can fill out to petition the state/county/whatever to take a body and dispose of remains. It's a standard procedure, I guess, since many people can't afford the costs of body preparation, funeral, grave digging and covering, and plot upkeep afterwards.

Now, this disposal of the body wasn't a hasty thing. The body had been stored for a year or so. Plenty of time to fill out the form, and get the body taken care of by the state. right?

I need to's nice to hear that you don't have to spend a fortune on you or your loved ones demise to see the body cremated or buried. I think that should probably be announced from rooftops. From what I hear, mortuary services are incredibly high. I know, personally, that funeral directors often play the card "This is the last thing you'll do for your loved one."

I think it's criminal to hornswaggle people when they are already struggling with something so personal and heartbreaking as the death of a loved one. I mean, geez, talk about knocking someone when they're down and adding insult to injury by stealing their wallet, too.

It's just comforting to know that our govt, whether state or local, will take care of our deceased loves ones in the event the dead person hasn't made previous arrangements/payments to cover their final resting box and plot. (It's hard to word this in a way not to offend.)

So, stress no more. If you don't want to buy a burial package, Uncle Sam will make sure you get a coffin and a place to park it.

I knew a woman whose adult son (early twenties) died of cancer. She didn't have any money, and the government covered everything. She cried a long time over the paper lining of the casket. She said it was nice, as paper goes, but she felt bad that her son didn't get velvet or silk to lie on for eternity.

I was heartbroken for her. But also thinking, here's a word to the wise...if you need to fall back on the state burial for help, you can church it up by splurging for a couple yards of fabric. I'm sure the funeral home could manage to put it in, and arrange it so the edges were tucked under. But what do I know?

I know I don't have thousands to bury myself just any old day of the year. I'm extra large in size. I wouldn't fit in a standard coffin, probably. So, it would cost more. I say, let the govt dispose of me however they want to.

But I also say, there are two things I'd consider tattooing on my body. A) Do not resuscitate me. And B) All parts of this body are for sale to the highest bidder or black market, negotiate with my husband or children. Let this body not pass in vain. Corneas, sold. Heart, sold. Liver, sold. Kidneys, sold, sold. Research facility? Take the whole thing or whatever's left. Just ante up the cash to the family.

It infuriates me that organs are donated, yet hospitals charge for the organ on the "installation bill."

I say, pack those babies in an ice chest and haul them to a country where there's a store in the city that pays for 'em. (Saw it on the discovery channel or something.) Apparently, some people are only getting $3500 for a kidney. Robbery, don't you think? Especially considering it is a life saver.

But, hey, I'm dead, go get at least that much. Ya know? Or sell it to science study labs. What do I care? I'm out of it.

Why drop the whole carcass in the ground, when you can make a considerable sum? I know it sounds brash and heartless, but it's my body we're talking about. I want my family to have a little something when I'm gone. Since I don't have any things to really pass down, why not give them a cash bonus. I wish there was a place you could go to sign up for organ sales in advance of your death.

My husband has always refused to be an organ donor. He thinks the cut throat (pun, hehe)doctors won't waste a minute in taking you out of this world. He thinks (I think) that some doctors take "finder fees" or harvest bonuses.

Okay, so I'll come clean here. I really AM okay with my family selling my organs. If I knew how to do it in advance, I would take care of it. I don't, though.

And I put organ donor on my driver's license about every other renewal time. I used to think doctors would be more likely to keep you alive, on ventilation or something, until they could find recipients. So, maybe it would buy you time to recover or something.

What do you think?

Do you have plans for your body after you die?

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Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 5:18 PM :: 1 Comments:

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Nobody has plans of dying, I guess. I must be the only one preoccupied with tripping on over to the other side! ;) I guess that's good for all the rest of ya.

By Blogger CarysWeldonblog, at 10:41 AM  

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