Carys Weldon Blog
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Talk about crap! (NOT POLITICAL)Ick. I read something I'm still wrinkling my nose over. You know, the kind of story that is very short but may never go away. You can be traumatized by reading it here: http://apnews.myway.com//article/20090716/D99FODF80.html
You don't have to go because I like to go over the fine points, give you the highlights.
I'm actually trying not to laugh, now that I'm over the shock of it. I swear, I couldn't get over to this blog fast enough. Can't have you missing something that's stricken me. My brain is going, "Ick. Ick. Ick. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Ooh, that's nasty."
It's just...the world simply astounds me.
Like the story a few days ago, it'll sound like I'm telling a joke, but here goes:
A guy named Sodoma... (I know, the name alone would give a kid a bad attitude. I'd have that changed in a court of law. Did you know most surnames originate from an ancestor's profession or crime? I'm getting pictures in my mind. I swear, I can't help it.
On with the story--
So this guy named Sodoma
crapped on the sidewalk... (That's right, the SIDEWALK. The sidewalk on the town square. While there aren't a ton of details to this story, they clarified that he didn't bring the feces from, say, a bathroom, or get it out of a bag he'd brought from scooping after a dog. Oh no, this man made this particular mess fresh on the spot.)
I know, I'm damned wordy and really drag out the dumbest things. I AM working on my pacing.
So, Sodoma scoops up his fresh, uh, delivery
then smeared it on a door
The door of the community coalition.
Sheriff says it's a couple of misdemeanors. Sodoma will get charged somewhere between $65 and $650. (And we used to complain about the bathroom stalls that required a dime or a quarter.)
Sheriff arrested the guy because it was basically against their town's basic morals.
Kinda makes you wonder why the community coalition made him mad about in the first place, doesn't it?
I always wondered what kind of people wiped crap on walls. You know, when you go into a public bathroom and sit down and just get started and look around and...holy shit, crappy stuff on the wall. So disgusting!
Turns my stomach. Ditto with people flippin' boogers ANYWHERE or wiping those on the wall. Is it that hard to get some tissue paper for the job?
What is it with people? How do we stop this stuff that's just plain nasty!
I mean, everybody has things in their nose from time to time that has to come out. But a tissue in a closed stall in the bathroom is a nice way to handle it. Or a tissue PERIOD.
Statistics say one of the most common things to do while stopped at a stoplight is pick your nose. After I watched the Family Feud episode that gave me that little tidbit, I couldn't help but notice...and it is too true.
Don't get me wrong...we all have our own little personal issues, things that offend others. Everybody has to deal with body fluids. Or solids. Or whatever. We all have times when our nose runs so much, we can't keep up with it. Or maybe that's just me and my allergies.
You know, when I was first asked to write erotica, I was told one of the big differences between it and mainstream romances is that erotica doesn't necessarily leave out the body fluids. It wasn't until then that I realized how clean most books USED to be in that department. But since I've been checking, I've noticed a lot more liquids in those mainstreams. Or is it just me?
I have another question for you... Why do people come in the front door and fart? Why don't they push it out before they come into closed quarters? And why do people laugh about farts?
Explain it to me. I dare ya.
And honestly, wouldn't you change your name if it were Sodoma?
Labels: body fluids, fart, feces, sodoma
0 Comments:
