Carys Weldon Blog

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Toilet Paper

I dunno who wrote this fine piece of work but it was in my inbox today and it is pre-empting all other things I thought I might say. (My apologies if you've seen it before.)


Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror
Complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,
he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take
piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet
Paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I ask. "They will grow
Larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I
Stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet
Paper between my breasts every day will make my
Breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat
He says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy,
He may even walk
Again. Stupid, stupid man.

Posted by CarysWeldonblog :: 7:23 AM :: 0 Comments:

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